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| sorry i havnt been on for a while.. i went to destin.. it was fun even though i had to be seen in public in a bathing suit.. i got really sun burnt too.. but i met some hot guys that we went to a club with! that was fun.. i ate pretty well on the trip too, minus the junk we ate on the 6 hour road trip there...
i moved back to school on monday.. i left my scale here so i wasnt able to weigh myself all may.. i kinda didn't want to either... i finally weighed myself.. 136.. its bad.. but its not as bad as i thought it would be...
these past two nights have been kinda crazy.. i tried oxycotin... yeah... not exactly my fav. drug.. i did it monday night and tuesday before i went to lay out at the pool.. i thought it be fun to just relax and pass the fuck out at the pool.. well, while walking there i kinda threw up.. not fun... i felt like shit... but i think i lost weight!
then i went to a bar downtown and drank a lot.. so that probably made me gain some weight.. then i smoked some and got the munchies so we went to golden pantry and i ate a lot.. so i probably gained what i lost...
now i'm in class.. and i cant concentrate.. i woke up at 8:15 for my 9am class and i am still drunk from last night.. but i had to go.. its the first day of class for the summer semester... blahhhh
b-diet coke
l-nothin yet
d-nothin yet
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| mk.. so i had to wake up really early today to bring my dog to the vet and wash my car.. that means there are more hours in the day for me to eat :(
b- tall chai tea late with skim milk from starbucks
l- nothin yet
d- nothin yet
i'm really want to go to the gym today.. but i'm feeling really tired.. i kno i should go so i can quicken the weight loss.. but a nap seems really good right now..
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| Starting again!!!soo.. yeah.. i finished freshman year.. nope.. not really.. i don't have enough credits to be a sophmore.. but yeah, there's definately been improvements since my last entry... i've had two boyfriends since that last jerk.. the last one i spoke of basically ended up telling me straight up he was using me for sex... so i left.. then the next guy we'll call P... he was awesome.. and hot too.. he treated me right.. but he's older, and we sorta mutually decided it wouldn't work out.. then i fucked his friend and his friends now exgirlfriend isn't to happy with me and neither is P... he called me out on it in front of all my friends basically screaming at me at a bar... not fun... next boy.. we'll call C.. OMG him and i are sorta dating.. not really??? we are really good friends, and there are many benefits.. we used to be dating and after we first hooked up, he told me that i was the best he's ever had.. he also told all his friends that too. lol.. but i don't mind, we still are good friends and even tho he's a flirt he still comes back to me, and i'm okay with that.. he's coming out of a longterm relationship (4 years!!) and i guess i don't really need a steady relationship. i'm okay with just hooking up every so often.. and it hasn't been that often, we're more friends then fuck buddies.. its been about 2 months 1/2 months, and we've only had sex twice.. but i love the way he makes me feell!!!!
its summer and i've been away from all my friends at school, and i've been really lonely with just my boring, sheltering parents around me.. so this past saturday C came and surprised me!!! it was sooo adorable, he came and spent the night sat night and sunday night and i drove him back today... it was a great weekend! i really like him... he's just not that boy you fall for... if i end up falling, which i've done a good job at not doing so far, then i'll probably get hurt..
he's soooooo hot and sweat tho... he's in the army too!!
welll.. thats it for the boy update... ana update: NOT GOOD... i def gained freshman 15!!! more like freshman 30!!! yea no joke... i'm disgusting! i need to lose weight fast... so yeah.. i'm back, for hopefully what will be a while... i havn't weighed myself since i've been home for the summer, so i've probably gained at least 10 more pounds.. my ultimate goal is 110!! but right now i'll be happy for 130.... i need to lose weight, and FAST! diet starts now! | | |
| hmm... i had a decent day...
i ate a taco... and that def was not part of my diet.. neither is the lucky charms i'm eating currently..
but i burned a lot of calories playing ultimate.. i scored 4 points! and then i was about to score 6 when a GUY tackled me... i got the wind knocked out of me and it sucked! i'm soooo tierd.. two games two nights in a row! so i'm gonna pass on the crunches and pushups... i'm just so damn tierd...but i have 2 papers to right so i have to pull an all nighter..
more about "the boy" ... he has ignored me alllll day! but he acknowledged my existence at the ultimate game... and i texted him telling him he was welcome to come over tonight casue i'm pulling an all nighter to write 2 papers.. and he responded saying that he might come over.. grrrrrrrrrrr
I DONT LIKE THE MIXED SIGNALS!!!!!!
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| i'm chaning my diet plan around a bit... i need to add more liquids... also one meal a day i feel is gonna skrew me over in the end and i'm gonna break down.. so maybe little meals???
Wednesday
-Addheral
-Mineral Water
-Protein Shake
-Crystal Light To Go in a water bottle
-Water
-Diet Coke
-??? food of some sort?
-Ultimate Frisbee Game...
-180 crunches
-52 pushups
-Tea
so life... hmm.. i unofficially dated this amazing guy for like 2 months.. then we were official for 2 weeks and now we're broken up... he likes me a lot and i like him a lot... he's just not over his ex girlfriend and though he doesn't wanna get back together with her he says that its not fair to me that he's not in our relationship 100% and he wants to eventually give that to me.. but he needs some time..i so completely understand that considering i too have an ex whom a part of me is always gonna love.. but this boy (we'll call D) is so cool to be around, i really really like him.. there is definately the potential for love.. we've been broken up for 3 days now and for the first 2 days we still acted like a couple.. the first night i spent the night at his apt... 2nd night he stayed at mine.. last night though after our ultimate frisbee game i left his apt and he said nothign.. he didn't stop me from leaving he didn't ask me to stay, he didn't come to my place.. grrrr... for the first night since we broke up we were actually apart and well... broken up...
i wanna give him his space.. but i want him back!
he told me when he broke up with me
"will you take me back once i realize what a huge mistake i've made"
yes i will!!!! he obviously wants to be with me and knows its a mistake not to be with me. but he's still not with me! i'm trying to give him his space.. but its hard..
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