wow.. its been so long since ive been on this website, and just lookin around, it makes me so sad to see whats been goin on, and how freindships used to be in the past. i miss those days so much. i dont know why exactly, but i miss jkl so much. not that im not happy with the ways things are going now, but just, the ways things used to be seems so much more enjoyable.  i feel like i lost so much in my life and had to willingly give up so much in order to end up here.  But i guess theres no use in looking back and being sad, becasue thats the past and all we have to look forward to is the future. still, its hard to think that so many friendships have been lost or have faded because of the necessary changes that i had to go through.  but i am so thankful that God has given me the friends that i have now.  without them, i dont think i would have been able to get through so much.  i depend on them and their words of encouragement so much.  i hope they all know that. being in korea right now is so hard, and to think that i ahve to be here for another week is even harder to think about. whenever i have free time, and dont have to go around korea meeting family members with a fake smile on my face, i always think about how much i wish i was in the US with everyone actaully enjoying my winter break. haha, but i guess it just wasnt meant to be. so much has gone on in 2006 when i look and actaully think about it all.  i mean, so many new freindships, so much heartache, so much spiritual growth; it just seems like everything took such a turn and everything was soo unexpected. but i know HIS mercy is sufficient for anything that i have to go through.  

well my time at the pc is almost up anyways, so i'll be off now.

sarah

*sigh* i guess im just going through some tough things right now.. and i feel like im losing everything that i had.. but.. praise the lord.  he knows whats best for me and i dont wanna end up trying to figure god out.. but i wanna follow him. its so hard for me to understand everything thats goin on.. i feel  like im in a dream and i'm just following along with whatever happens.. i hate this feeling.. but i dont know how to get out of it. lol its so hard to fall into something and then find yourself getting pulled out without you wanting to be saved.

<3 sarah

*sigh* sometimes the whole world is against what feels so right.   what are you supposed to do then?

 sarah

i dont know exactly why, but this site has become such an addiction for me. ive been looking at old pages of old freinds, and just surfing.. its so weird.  well, today, i guess i didnt do much.  i slept till like.. 2 pm.. then this guest from cali named linsee came to vegas, and i guess shes stayin at my house, so i went over and invited her in.  and the most irritating thing is taht shes not even my guest.. shes HAZ's guest.. grr.. i cant believe he just ditched her like taht and expected me to pick her up and take her around town and make her feel welcome.  its such an unresponsible thing to do.  well.. god bless him and his stupidity.  . well.. anyways.. shes a pretty cool girl, and shes gonna stay for tonight and tomm night in my room, so i guess im on the couch for the next two nights.. not that i was planning to sleep anyways. haha. wow.. its wierd.. im actually venting online again.. i havnt done this in so long. ahha.. good thing not many people read xanga anymore.. except for the faithful few. . *sigh* i dont even know what to think anymore.. everything is going so wierd.. and my life is just bleh.  thank you jesus. .  i dont know if anything special is really going on anyomore, but im goin to cali on sunday night to go to disneyland with a couple of friends. how fun..   then as soon as i get back, i think imma end up goin on a 3 day family trip to lake tahoe and then san fran with my dad and my lil bro. how.. weird.. it doesnt even seem like we're much of a family anymore.. i barely ever see them.. i guess its good that im going though, it'll give me time to get to know them better. . anyways.. i cant wait for church tomm.. and i hope that its AWESOME!   ok.. thats it for now.

sarah

oh wow.. its been more than ages since i last wrote in here.. and so much has changed.. i have no idea where to begin, and even if i did, i doubt i'd be able to say everything thats happened.  well, to start it off, me and christian did hit our 1 year.. we actaully hit our 1 year and 9 months, but we decided that we would break up for a while, and if it was meant to be, then God will bring us back together by his perfect will.  now that im acutally here to write, it seems that ive got writer's block, which is really wierd, cause before, i was dying to get back on here and write a blog.  i guess since the last time i got on here, xanga has kinda.. died.. and now myspace is the new thing.  i guess it was to be expected cause it happened before.   hMm.. lets see, im more into church now, but its not cause i have to be, but cause i wanna be.. i have such awesome freinds there who just know how to encourage and lift me up when im feeling down. Praise the lord.   i still do miss the old friends who used to come to church but left.. hangin out with them was the best, but its ok, cause i know that they'll come back one day.  im not workin right now, cause i just wanna take a break and go on a real break.. not just from school, but from work too, i guess. since i really dont know what to say, i guess i'll just stop here.. maybe i'll be back within the year to finish this up.. or not.

 sarah