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Name: miss elle ♥
Gender: Female


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Member Since: 7/21/2005

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Monday, April 07, 2008

Dear You,

 

Since you left in August, I have defended our relationship to all my friends. But right now, I don’t even know if we even have a relationship. I feel like I don’t even know you and that you really don’t know me. You wouldn’t be able to name my birthday, my middle name, or something as simple as my favorite movie. You don’t know what I want to do for the rest of my life. I doubt you know that I was actually born in New Jersey, and that even though I bitch and bitch about my sister, I would drop everything if she needed me. You usually forget that I don’t like chocolate or ice cream and that I hate it when people touch the back of my neck. You really don’t know me, simply because you never bothered to try. And knowing that breaks my heart, because I could tell everyone you were born on December 21 in Russia and that you weren’t given a middle name. Your all time favorite movie is You’ve Got Mail, even though you hate to admit it. I know what your father did to your mother and your family so I understand why you despise him. Even though I can list off all those facts, I still don’t feel like I know you. You act differently towards everyone else. I feel like half of the things I listed off aren't even true, they're all just this huge lie. So we’re really not best friends, no matter how much I pretend. You wouldn’t be there for me if I needed you; you never have been there in the past. You will never pick up the phone and call just to talk and ask how my week went; I always have to do it first. So I’m sorry that I thought we were closer than we really are, and I’m sorry it took me so long for me to figure that out.  I don’t really know what this letter means, is it me saying good-bye and finally letting go or will I continue to hold on to something that was never really there. I almost wish this letter would mean good-bye and it would give me the closure I desire, but I know it won’t. I just wish I knew what would.

 

                                    Elle


Thursday, January 17, 2008

Currently Listening
The Spirit Room
By Michelle Branch
goodbye to you
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she's got her best foot forward. . .and she's not looking back

 

Are you seriously mad that I chose him over you? You chose her over me months ago. So I guess now you finally know how it feels.

 

BY ME-so please credit<3


Sunday, December 16, 2007

Currently Listening
Nothing Left to Lose
By Mat Kearney
WAIT<3
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she's tired of pretending she's fine
when she's not even close

 

Oh no. Oh hell no. You don’t get to come back and pretend like everything’s fine, and that you don’t have any idea. You know I’m angry and you exactly why. So you can wipe that clueless look off your face. You picked her over me, whether you meant to or not, you did. Don’t give me that look, our look, it’s not going to work this time. So just leave, please, just leave me alone. Leave before I stop being angry, and it just plain hurts.

 

*i wrote this so pleaseee credit me<3


Sunday, December 09, 2007

Four years ago we stepped into high school, individuals seeking to do well, to find our identity, to find our best friend. We opened our lockers for the first time, looked at our schedules, and thought about how great it was to finally be in high school. Four years ago we met our best friend, we went to our first school dance, had a crush on a cute senior. Four years ago, we couldn't wait to get older.

Three years ago we stepped into high school believing that we owned the place. No longer the lowly freshman, we had a new attitude. We were still individuals searching for themselves, looking to fit in, wanting to achieve something. We followed our daily routines, expanded our circle of friends, and talked about parties. Three years ago we made a new best friend, went to Sweet Sixteen's every weekend, thought we were too mature for school dances. Three years ago, we couldn't wait to get older.

Two years ago we became upperclassmen. We began to realize that we were growing up. We got our licenses, started driving out on weekends. Two years ago we realized who our true friends were and cherished the times we spent with them. We found where we fit in, yet still seemed to be looking for something else. Two years ago we started talking about college, thinking it was still so far away. We had our junior prom, got our rings, realized that time really does fly. But two years ago, we still couldn't wait to get older.

One year ago we entered the school as seniors. We had senioritis before classes even resumed, we got to leave school early and come in late. Everything we did was the last: our last homecoming pep rally, our last season in a sport, our last birthday at home. One year ago we took our time together for granted, we went to party after party on the weekend, we rebelled, and we learned. One year ago, we still had the same best friend and cherished time spent with them. We started applying to college, far and near. We got accepted, we got rejected, and we found exactly where we wanted to go. We realized that we would no longer have the comfort of home within a year.

Now, we finally realize that we could have waited to get older. We realize that time has somehow slipped away and soon we will be saying good-bye. Saying good-bye to our friends, our family, our home maybe for a short time, maybe forever. Soon we will go to our senior prom, graduate, sit for the last time with everyone. It is the last time we will all be together, recognized as the class of 2008. Now, we are getting excited about starting over, getting sad about what we will leave behind, getting anxious to move on. Now we realize just how important our best friends are, how much fun we really did have in the four years. Now, we wish we could be younger. We wish we could have taken the time to appreciate every moment, to slow down time. Now we face having to say good-bye.

In one year we will return as different people. We will have experienced dorm life, eaten campus food, and met new friends. We will have joined a club, maybe a sorority, done something new. In one year we will be new people. We will still be searching for our identity, to find our niche. We will have picked majors, changed majors, passed and failed at things we tried. In one year we will know more about ourselves and what we want to become. We will remember the past times and look fondly at the memories although we will have created new memories yet one thing will still remain: in one year, we will still have that same best friend, maybe since kindergarten, maybe since high school, maybe a college roommate. That person can be found in new friends and old. Without them, we would have nothing.

Four years brought change. Friendship held us strong when things were shaky, in good times and bad, in laughter and tears, though boyfriends, bad grades, family problems, and love, our friends showed us that life was worth enjoying. With them, we wanted to grow up so quickly. Now, they are the only ones with whom we will remain forever young.


Saturday, April 21, 2007

Currently Listening
Awake
By Secondhand Serenade
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izzie; i can say "hail mary's" until i turn into mary, but i still miss you - not the sex. it was not tragic, george. but i will live without it but i won't make it if you can't be my friend."



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