| This is for everytime you've ever needed him to just listen, to tell you you'd be okay, that he would make things right, or that he was finally changing. For everytime he didnt For every single "I told you so" you've EVER had to deal with. For everytime you've settled, because its just "how he is" For everytime you've sat by in agony, just waiting for him to notice you.
For everytime you've sat in front a mirror and scrutinized every freckle, dimple, curve, and wrinkle on your body, hoping to see what it was that makes you so unworthy. For everytime you've analyzed every single one of her features. For everytime you've stayed up all night reading into every word, of every conversation. For everytime you let go of your anger and disapointment, and truly believed that tonight he was really going to call you back. For everytime you've allowed yourself to believe you're over reacting or "being crazy"
For everytime you've been ashamed of who and what you are, because its just not what he wants. For everytime you've allowed him to degrade you, call you a bitch or a whore or any other foul name. For everytime you've cried yourself to sleep thinking it was your fault and if you hadn't reacted the way you did, things might have ended better. For everytime you've had to hold your smile, and fight your tears because you just didn't want him to feel guilty. For everytime you've bitten your tongue and gritted your teeth. For every single word you've been dying to say, but couldn't muster up the courage. For everytime you've had to be in the presence of all his other "Friends" knowing deep down that those *sparks* the same ones that used to go off between you, that those *sparks* aren't completely innocent, or imagined. For everytime you've forced yourself to over look a smile or a touch or a laugh, that meant more than it should. For everytime you let yourself believe that THIS TIME, yes, THIS TIME he was really going to straighten up. For every night spent sitting by the phone. For everytime you've given all of you to him, just hoping that MAYBE this time, you'll be sharing the same connection And knowing full and well, the entire time, it wouldn't be. For every night you've stood from a far and watched him, in all his faults, but knew he was still perfect.
For every single time you told yourself you deserved it. Now its time to to change the everyday, and the ordinary. For every single time you've watched him with the cheap, trashy, promiscuous girls that you could never be.... Look in the mirror, study your eyes, analyze yourself one more time. This time, look at your strong points, understand and accept that, maybe not for every single boy you meet, you're flaws, and strengths, and quirks, make you perfect. Appreciate that there is someone out there who will find you perfect, charming, and amusing.
Figure out who you are. Its so sad how insecurity is being dispersed like playing cards.
As a formal plea, a last entreaty, look past every single negative feeling you may have acquired towards yourself, and find YOU, the real you. When you do, you'll realize every single time you endured, you only made yourself THAT much stronger.
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