Important Things to Know About Wichita...


1-Kellogg will never be completeEVER.
2-The only reason to go to River Fest is for the fireworks and the carnival.
3-The river is pronounced the Are-Kansas Rivernot ark-en-saw.
4-For no reason should you ever come in contact with the water in the Arkansas riveryour skin will burn off.
5-You honestly believe that the dam by the Keeper of the Plains statue is a waterfall.
6-Renees or Burrito Express is only to be consumed when drunk.
7-99 Beers (the drive thru liquor store) is conveniently located between Quik Trip and Reneeswhich are all centrally located two blocks from the Cop Shop.
8-You understand why saying, Wichita State Universitys football team has been undefeated for many, many years now, is very funny.
9-What a Shocker is.besides the sexual term.
10- Youve gone to a shopping center and said, I remember when there was a field here.
11- Youve gone sledding at the Palace West and understand the necessity of having someone to stop you at the bottom or having the ability to bail off quickly.
12- Friday nights in the fall are dedicated to high school football.
13- Youve gone to see the creepy statue of the kids trying to get out of the backyard on the East side and know at least one story behind it.
14- You love to go to haunted houses around Halloween.
15- Youve had at least one nightmare featuring Renee Stevens.
16- You have lost your car in Old Town and decided to just leave it and come back when youre sober.
17- You leave your car running with all your stuff in it (including your children) while you run into Quik Trip.
18- Youve gotten out of school early because it was snowing so hard.
19- Anyone over the age of 21 does not go to Grahams unless they are really country.
20- Youve gotten stuck on a two-lane road behind a combine.
21- Youve waited for a few minutes for a line of ducks to cross the road.
22- Youve been in the middle of the city and still almost hit a deer.
23- Youve seen an opossum up close and new what it was.
24- In Old Town, peeing in public is acceptable when you are drunk.
25- During the summer, Torres has dollar slices when the clubs close.
26- When you go to Old Town, you are guaranteed to see at least five people you know.
27- You remember KKRD.
28- You may fight over whether Wesley or St. Francis or St. Joseph is a better hospital, but everyone knows not to go to Riverside.
29- At Christmas time, you looked forward to Toyboy.
30- You know that after a heavy rain, youll need a paddle boat to make it down West St.
31- You know that East 21st Street and West 21st Street do not connect.
32- Youve referred to the area near WSU as The Ghetto.
33- When youre in North Wichita, you can smell the industrial district.
34- When youre by Joyland, you can smell the Sewage Department.
35- You think the Big Ditch is really excellent and useful.
36- It is very important to yield when entering a round-about because most people dont understand them.
37- You hate the Wizard of Oz simply because people wont shut up about Dorothy and Toto.
38- You get excited when Kansas or Wichita is mentioned on national television.
39-You know that Topeka is the capital of Kansas and think that Wichita should be instead.
40-You understand that the Thunder games are strictly for getting shitfaced.
41- Youve spent an entire day in the wave pool at FantaSea and youve gone down that really tall slide that gives you a wedgie.
42- Youve driven alllllll the way to Valley Center to go to Theorosas bridge and told everyone that creepy stuff happened even though it was just your friends being stupid.
43- Youve gone to Cheney Lake or El Dorado Lake or Lake Afton to get drunk without getting caught.
44- Youve been to a party in a field.
45- The Village Inn has better food than IHOP and Dennys but your waitress will probably be the rudest person youve ever met and cuss you out.
46- Youve gone mullet hunting.
47- At the end of an entrance ramp, be prepared to stop, because merging has never and will never exist in Wichita.
48- You have a Dillons Card.
49- You know Crazy Mike.
50- Towne West has pretty much all the same stores as Towne East, but Towne East is still waaaaay better.
51- When ordering at McDonalds you add Mc to the beginning of everything.
52- You know a person that has four carsnone of which workand needs a ride to work every day.
53- At the Zooyouve been afraid to go into the bat room.
54- You always wanted to go see the Bubble Guy so he could put you in a bubble.
55- You thought you were related to someone or knew someone that HAD to be BTK.

Pass this on to all your homies in the 316. haha