My boyfriend.. is amazing.  He treats me like a princess.. but all of my friends are pressuring me to break it off w/ him because he's not a believer.. and thats understandable I suppose.  I guess I do lose focus on God being with him.. its just hard.  We're engaged and I'm going to have to break this off.  I mean.. when I have kids.. I want them to be spiritually guided by a father who loves the Lord with all of his heart and soul and mind.. who has a deep passion for God and who wants nothing more than to serve.  That's what I really want for a husband.. and I feel like I'm settling now for something I WANT and not what I NEED + want.  I suppose "we built it up to watch it fall"  I'm so foolish and stupid.  =(

The eating disorder stuff is coming up badly again.. and I feel like garbage. 

Last night I felt so depressed..  so I opened up my Bible and God just talked to me.  It was pretty amazing.  He's ALWAYS there to comfort me when I'm alone and sad.  He's there when nobody else is there to just talk.  I mean I have amazing friends.. but I can't rely on them for everything.  I must remember to only rely on God.  That's my main issue I suppose.  I get side-tracked so easily. 

As for today I'm going to get into His word a little more than I usually do. 

In Him,

Sabrina

God is good all the time.  All the time God is good.

I really can do this. 

I know I can.

I am strong enough.

God will make me strong enough.

I will overcome. I have to.

Homework needs to become a priority.

God needs to even more.

Boys need to come last.

Now if I can only apply that.

It's been like FOREVER since I have updated here...

Well that's gotta change.

Lots of stuff has changed. 

My grades are kind of slipping...

And I am too...

Blah.

I need to trust God with my stuff... A LOT more.

the mistakes I've made
that caused pain
I could have done without
all my selfish thought
all my pride
the things I hide
you have forgot about
they're all behind you
they'll never find you
they're on the ocean floor
your sins are forgotten
they're on the bottom
of the ocean floor
my misdeeds
all my greed
all the things that haunt me now
they're not a pretty sight to see
but they're wiped away
by a mighty, mighty wave
a mighty, mighty wave
your sins are erased
and they are no more
they're out on the ocean floor
take them away
to return no more
take them away
to the ocean floor

I'm feeling so rebelious right now, Jesus...

Lead me back into your arms.  I pray this PACKED with sincerity.

Amen.