FRIDAY++

damn dOode. i swear that today was like a fuccin' bad lucc day. :( everyone was havin' a bad day. i thought vanniebOo bailed out on me for vu but yah... it was ez instead... both of u cute ass'z are forgiven. ahha. :D aww ez wanted to sticc around to say hi... how sweet. thas da only reason ur forgiven punk. lol. ummMm wat else... o da gas issue. letz jes leave it at that. i didn' get to have my hair done like i wanted to but nex weekend for shure. cuhz yah. AHHH my hair is fucced up lOokin' rite now. got da nailz done down in eastside for 16 w/ christy 'n youngin'. fuccin' my plan for under 2o worked like a charm :D. i saved fuccin' 9 buccz more than most yall fuccerz. puahahaha. o yah tony jacced my grittz.... plus da light... NOT COO buddy. *sigh* i really was in need at da particular moment too. o yah i had to drive bacc to fashion cuhz someone got left behind... STICC WITH UR ELDERZ!! lol. ehhh it wasted even more gas but i learned my lesson today. da good part tho? seein' some of da SINFULZ. well all but two. took some pix toO. ahh good timez...they kno how to make this grl smile... dropped off christy, youngin' 'n abby then got home around 11 knocced da fucc out. yengz da bus driver for clairemont 'n below...i'm da bus driver for mira mesa 'n above LOL. we got this shit down. lol.

SATURDAY++

went to volunteer work til around 12... then headed up to bellflower to visit <3's dad 'n lil bro mark. mark is such a pimp. he gon' have grlz joccin' him left 'n rite...we had lunch/dinner at ten ten some chinese seafood place kinna like jasminez 'n emerald. it was <3's dad, baby mark, <3's sis Lupa 'n her hubby jason, 'n <3's grandma (she scarez da hell out of me... cuhz ithink she hatez me *sigh*). we left to san bernardino around 5pm... it was a memorial service thing for <3 'n lupa'z uncle jerome. *may he rest in peace but stay in all of our heartz forever* i think it was a sign from khai that i go since hez prolly pissed off that i haven' seen him in awhile... :( sorry... i didn' even kno his uncle but da tearz kept pourin' cuhz i kept rememberin' khai'z funeral... *sigh* we left around 8 3o... MADD TRAFFIC. everyone jes gotta wanna  come to daygo around 8 3o huh. :( got to <3'z around 11 15 so iw as like fucc it ima jes spend da nite... my mind was so clouded with so many diff thoughtz after da service i didn' think i could drive or think straite... it felt good to have someone to hold 'n to have someone keep me warm on a cold 'n rainy nite...isn' it weird how it rained las nite? itz like... heaven was cryin' too. *sigh* i miss u too khai more 'n more as i start to worry that i'm beginnin' to forget lil by lil...

SUNDAY++

went to church... had confession... saw mark 'n jung mOok oppa 'n gabriel oppa. His sermon was 'bout prayer... 'n how no matter wat it is we're prayin' for or no matter how much doubt in prayer we may have... in da end we have to remember that itz a conversation we're havin' with God 'n that we must remember that he'z there. ALWAYZ. whether we're drivin' to school, work, or jes lyin' in our bedz after a long day...we should alwayz keep in touch with him cuhz he wantz us to kno hez there... 'n he wantz us to be able to talk to him... like friendz talk to friendz...like parent talk to their children... 'n so on. It helped a lot to get thingz off my chest after las nite 'n yah...put in a prayer for khai'z fam this mornin'... i hope everythingz goin' ok for them.

ok. i'm updatin' this shit for joanna's sake. lol. umMm. school is weird. senior yr is weird... TRICC ASS HOEZ are weird. but i'm lovin' life as is. :D i finished my paccetz for teacher recommendationz... 'n counselor recoomendation... sent in my shit for boston college 'n cornell. i really don' wanna leave daygo but at da same time. I NEED CHANGE!! ok i'll make this pretty later... im too lazee rite now. u kno wassep with that...

happy 2 yrz 5 monthz. we crazee u kno that? krn wit thai. kimchi w/ thai tea. YUMMMMM. :D yanno yanno.

THURSDAY went out all fuccin' day...damn was i tired. pretty much a fucced up day except for a few partz. took part 1 of da pre calc test. it was hard...i did all da problemz except da las one...arrrgh i ran out of time  anywayz after scoo went to scoop up miccey then van then went to fashion to turn in my applicationz. I NEED A DAMN JOB! then picced up lix boi 'n we decided to go kareoke... even tho it was in broad daylight. 35 buccz for an hour DAMN!  it used to be 25... damn jap mothafucca ripped us off. anywayz that was hella fun tho...got our dancin' 'n singin' on. lucy dropped by with her boi 'n his homeboi. damn lucy lookz good with her xxxxxxxxsmall size helmet. lol. o so yea we find out dat will 'n jesse 'n bum 'n those mothafuccaz are at tapioca rite nex door (no wonder none of 'em fuccaz picced up their damn phone) i was already mad tho cuhz they didn' call bacc like they was supposed to. i told miccey to go there 'n do her thang. nex thing u kno bum callz me tellin' me not to come cuhz *AHEM* was there. i was like ummm so wat? i drag my ass there 'n say hi to everyone except bobby. i don' want no girlfriendz trippen' lol. draaama. anywayz afterwardz dropped off miccey 'n van 'n lix then headed to jimmyz to go to dave 'n busterz for a lil while. played some gamez...all 'em bike mothafuccaz were there AGAIN! i choose da wrong placez to go... ehh it was kinna weird cuhz yea... another long story... wrong place at da wrong time with da wrong person i guess?  jimmyz homegrlz + homeboiz were pretty chill tho. anywayz headed bacc to tracee's. she gave me a long list of namez for da invitationz...da flower orderz...da colorz (white 'n lavender) awwww *hehehehe* i'm so excited. she told me to decide on da decorationz cuhz shez already havin' enough trouble with da other crap. t wrecc is a lot better...but his face  o yea... surgery money needed: 1600. oii... at least itz goin' down significantly. umm after that...da whole damn thing went downhill. johnnyz girlfriend called me...that was weird. she was coo tho. anywayz then yea...came home 'n got my ass kicced by my parentz. arrgh. i feel like i don' belong in fuccin' san diego nomore. i can't wait til i move da fucc outta here. i don' wanna leave my beloved's tho. i jes need to get away...

FRIDAY hella bad way to start da day...i don' even wanna talk 'bout it. i guess i am buggin' him too much...i should jes give him his space...thas wat he wanted i think. anywayz went to scoo around 10:30...i don' really give a fucc 'bout 1st period nomore. (i don' think my teacher or other kidz do either) turned in my 150 point essay 'n stats report 'n made up my part II of da pre calc test (i think i aced that one YAYEEE). my mom was all bitchin' at me again for goin' to scoo late then she bitched at me some more 'bout registration for miramar 'n mesa 'n shit...AS IF LAS NITE WASN' BAD ENOUGH!  anywayz...i jes stayed home 'n studied for my SAT's tomorrow...surprisingly ppl called me to keep me company lol. boring ass day huh? i kinna liked it tho jes chillen' doin' all da wedding crap for tracee...by da way tomorrow is a crazy day. volunteer work + SAT's + damn dress rehearsal. can u believe it? i'm quittin' orchestra...itz my 5th year this year manng...itz kinna gettin' to me now...but i jes won't have time nex year.  my last concert is on sunday. i hope everyone i invited comes! o yea... i sold da 3 ticketz i had... i wish he coulda gone...i mean itz my las concert ever...hez never been to any of 'em yet. *sigh*  AHHH ok. nomore depressin' thoughtz. O YEA I WROTE DA LYRICZ TODAY! wahoo...haven' really written anythin' for awhile but anywayz. i should post it on here huh... anywayz yah. gon' sleep early tonite manng. gotta wake up early tomorrow. g'nite world. sweet dreamz.  o yea... i read somethin' in a book today...

"Love is active and generative. Its seeds must be planted if it is to grow. Love has no judgement; it is not conditional. It asks no recognition; it demands no response. Its rewards is in its giving, but it has no thought of reward. It reaches out to those around it not because the are deserving or because they can offer something in return. When we are weak we seek love. WHen we are feeling strong we husband our love and dole it out accodring to the measure in which we feel it is deserved. Only when we are filled to overflowing with love, do we spread our love unconditionally..."

u really think love can be all that? cuhz damn. i guess love is all that. today was 2 monthz exactly. therez 19 minutez of it left. 2 monthz is a crazy long time... damn. but to some ppl itz jes another day...