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ohxohhxmercedes | | |
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entry you'll see from me =]
I'm staying the weekend
with Kayli at her dad's =]
I'm so excited about this weekend with Kayli. Road trip. by ourselves. nice weather. nice new car. ahh I'm so pumped.
Next weekend is mine and Jared's big surprise for Greg for his birthday. I am so excited about that. I think I'm more excited about it than Greg is. And he doesn't even know what's going on =] haha, he'll hate us for it. But oh well =] He hates surprises, so much. But I don't care. I've been working really hard at getting this to work out.. and so far.. it's halfway there. He'll like it when it comes. And trust me, he will be surprised =]
Two and a half more months. I cannot wait.
I'm really excited about this summer.
Not only because no more school;;
but also because the beach//warm weather//bakinis =]
as well as i get to get the fuck out of this town.
as well as i get to see my wonderful family.
and i also can't wait for that summer job.
i'm not sure what job im going to get for the summer. maybe put-putting? we'll see =]
Today we did our presentation in History. We didn't do great, but I think we presented it well. Our slides didn't meet the "mastery guidlines" but other than that I think we did really good. This girl, Ginger, did something and fell down while Mr. Wilson was talking. It was so funny. I feel so bad for her though. I wouldn't have laughed at her if she wasn't my friend, haha. But jeez, that was hilarious.
The OC is on tonight. I'm pretty excited. I missed last weeks, and it was probably just about the best one. SO tonight I will be watching it =]
i'm so excited for prom. It's only a little over than a month away. And so is my birthday =] I'm so excited to go to prom, with greg. I can't wait to see how cute he looks in a cute little tux, all tattooed up, haha <3
Something I'd like to point out: I love how pathetic people are. Seriously.. people think they are so tough, and so mean just by saying something about someone online. But then when the person asks for them to call them ((so they can tell them the REAL facts about what they are talking about, because they don't have anything right)) they won't. They puss out. hahaha, it makes me laugh.. it really does. If you're "tough" enough to bitch at someone online, atleast have the balls to call them when it comes down to it ;)
he makes me so happy x3
my weekend-
yes, that is a llama farm, haha
that's all we looked at for about 7 hours this weekend =]
she's so freaking cute <3
he's the only thing that kept us alive this weekend. budah <3
that's the "easter basket bunny" i made in sunday school today, haha. &&my new shoes <3
So I had pretty much the best weekend ever. And I have Kayli to thank for that <3 I wouldn't have made it this weekend, if I wasn't with her. She was there for me the whole weekend, and I love her for that <33
this picture is super old. but i love it. he's my best friend and i love him oh so much <33
the pictures below are from the summer. they are a shitty quality as well, because i scanned them, so sorry.
i think im going to go back to the gauged ears.
i love this picture of us, haha, i love her <3 | | |
| Happy birthday Dad. Another year gone by. I'm glad I got to be here for your birthday, I hope it was a good enough gift. I love you, and I hope you had a great birthday <3
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Jesus take the wheel
take if from my hands
cause i can't do this on my own
im letting go
so give me one more chance
to save me from this road i'm on..
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things are amazing right now. everything is going so perfect; and i love it. my depression is going away, and with the help of my wonderful friends and my amazing boyfriend, it's about completely gone. everything has just been so great, and i have my friends to thank for that. greg and i are doing great; better than ever actually. i love him with everything i have. he makes me so happy. he cares for me when i'm sick; when i'm in a bad mood he does everything he can to cheer me up (even if it involves talking && acting like a complete redneck, hahah) && he's always so sweet to me -- i love you gregoryallender <3 you're an amazing boyfriend baby <3
Okay so I have some things to complain about. I read a few people's xangas and myspaces; and on them they complained about how fat they were and blah blah blah ((DO NOT BIT AT ME, OR ABOUT ME ON YOUR SITE BECAUSE YOU THINK IM TALKING ABOUT YOU; THIS DOES NOT PERTAIN TO ONE PARTICULAR PERSON; ALL IM DOING IS STATING MY OPINION ON A NEW "STYLE/FAD")) I read these people's xangas and see their pictures they post, and I think to myself "what in the hell; how can some of these girls sit there and say they're fat??" Sure, some of these girls are overweight; and some are so skinny you can see their bones. One of the girls had pictures of her stomach and hips. This girl was really skinny, but just had a little extra skin on her hips. Let me just say something -- starving yourself and making yourself puke isn't going to burn that little bit of skin off. You have to get up off your lazy ass and exercise. That's the problem with these girls -- they don't want to work to lose their unwanted weight. That's why they starve themselves and make themselves puke. They want the easy way out. Let me say something else:: Girls who have nice bodies;; especially famous people;; work hard to get the way they look. They work out, they exercise. You all should try it; it'll work ;)
These same girls also wonder to themselves "hm. I never have any energy. how can I fix that?" Did no one pay attention in science class? You get energy by eating. Food gives you energy. That's why you have no energy dumbass. How to solve it: fucking eat.
Something else:: tanning. Girls are obsessed with being tan (just like they are with being skinny) Certain people think you look "cool" looking like you're damn near black. In the winter time, real tan people look goofy. They stick out like a sore thumb. It's winter;; come on. I get a good laugh when I see girls bragging about being so dark. They compare their tans to other people and brag about being darker than the other person. No one cares. Sure, its nice to have a tan, and I'm not saying that people who go tanning are stupid, because I go tanning sometimes. I'm just saying, it's not cute when you're about as dark as an African American. Especially when nyou have blonde hair. It's unnatural looking, and it makes people laugh. Don't make tanning your top priority//it's rediculous.
Today Greg took me to this place that had the most beautiful view in the world. And trust me, no one else has been there. I think it was actually illegal to be there, and we definatley had to go offroading and mudding to get to it, haha. I'm not telling where it is, because no one else knows about it. It's our secret spot ;) haha
I have to say;; I have an amazing boyfriend. He is so sweet, and I couldn't possibly want to be with anyone else. I've had such a good time with him since I've gotten back. I love him so much;; I've never felt this way about anyone before. Sure, I thought I was in love before.. but if this is what love really feels like, I know I was wrong. We have our ups and downs, but in the end, we both know we love eachother so much. I just feel so safe, and comfortable around him. It's like nothing else can hurt me. His birthday is coming up soon, and I want to do something for him;; but I'm not sure what. He's probably going to be out with his friends for most of the day//night, but I'm hoping I will get a little time with him.
This weekend I am going with Kayli to her dad's house. I think it's in Cincinatti, or somewhere like that. We are driving down ourselves, and I'm so excited. I'm nervous, but I'm so so excited. I'll take a TON of pictures, and be sure to post them =]
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this is what i want for my birthday.
i want to be allowed to get it.
"Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it."
"We are not enemys, but friends. There must not be enemys. Though passion may have strength, we must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory will swell, and again touch, as surely they will be by the better angels of our nature.."
--American History X
And let me just point out-- what did you do after I stated my opinion on fat bitches wanting to be skinny? you whined ;) hahaha, god you're so fucking stupid. i knew you'd be a pussy and not call me =]
thats all for now.
i love you greg, and i had a great time yesterday <3 | | |
| FUCKING EDIT.
okay so you know what? you've finally got what you've been wanting. you've finally got me. IM ADMITTING THAT YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY PISSED ME OFF. YOU'VE FINALLY MADE ME BREAK DOWN. are you happy now? you have done a lot of fucking things to me, but when you bring my boyfriend into it, you've crossed the fucking line.
i'm tired of being nice. i'm tired of being nice because people want me to be nice to her. FUCK HER. im not being fucking nice anymore. payback's a bitch, cunt, your turn is coming; just wait.
it's embarassing to admit, but yea.. that's my best friend
Greg asked me to be his girlfriend of course I said yes
edit.
Right now, everything in my life is perfect. I have wonderful friends, an amazing boyfriend, and im in north carolina visiting my father and the rest of my family. School ((last week)) was pretty easy for me, since it was the end of the grading term. Spring break is finally here ((even though its cold here)) And we're finally in the last quarter of the school year.
Thursday I went to Kayli's to watch the OC with her and Amy. Christy was supposed to go, but she couldn't. I had a lot of fun. As you can tell in the pictures.
Friday I went to the show in Belpre with Christy and Devin, to see Deserio's band play. They did really good. Greg was there. I saw Zac, which was fucking awesome. It was probably overall the best show I've been too ((next to the Underoath//Silverstein show)).
I miss Greg, alot right now. I only have 4 more days until I see him again, thank god.
We're moving within the next couple of months//to Washinton, WV. That's a little far, and it's in South's district. I'd better get a car soon, because I am not spending my senior year at South. no thanks. But I like the house. It's lakefront, so I like that too. I'm pretty excited to move; I'm ready to get the hell out of my neighborhood.
I've been looking into colleges lately. I really want to go to the University of North Carolina at Wilmington. It's a beautiful college, its right on the beach, and the education there is outstanding. But I also want to go to WVU; just because I have a scholarship that will pay for it. I also would like to go to Pitt. I'm probably going to visit them all over the summer.
I did my scheduling for next year. I have thirteen classes! haha. I'll be taking two college classes, sociology 101 and psychology 101. I'll have them first period, and only monday through wednesday. so thursdays and firdays i won't have to be at school until second period. i picked an easy schedule. so i won't have to work much my last year of school.
Summer is getting so close, and I'm so excited to go to the beach. I'm going to work on surfing this time, and I'm not giving up this time, haha. And of course, there's skimboarding, which i LOVE. That's all I did when we went that last time. I did it so much I think I actually got better than my brother! haha!
I got a new kitten. Her name is Cali and she's cute =) | | |
| wow, as much as you hate me, you sure do look at my xanga an unbelievable amount. you've outbeat everyone by atleast 15 visits. haha, that's funny.
this kid thinks he is so cool. he thinks his guns are so much bigger than mine. psht, get out of here. the next sidewalk chalk fight, he's totally going down
Le Grand Concour ((The national french exam)) is Tuesday morning. I'm the only person in my class taking it. And there are 4 other people from 1st period taking it. I'm really nervous. I just really hope that I do good. I really haven't been studying at all, which is a big mistake. Last year, Mme Law said that level would be the hardest level, and I thought it was really easy. I mean, afterall, my first year taking it, I came in 11th, out of nearly 200. But, they only recognized the top 10. So hopefully I atleast get one place ahead this year. Mme Law has been out of school for a week, unexpectidly, and won't be back until after spring break, because she got her apendix removed. I wish that she could have been here, to help me out on a few things. But I think I've got it under control. hopefully. Wish me luck :)
skjhgikauhg;aeditalkfgi;;
These past couple of months have given me time to think; live; and realize a few things about life.
F.R.I.E.N.D.S. -- what exactly does that word mean? Sure, everybody has some, but does that mean that everyone you talk to, or hang out with, are actually your friends? No. People really only have a few friends. The ones who get lucky will have more than otheres. And some of your true friends will be considered your BEST friends. Over the past year or so, I've come to realize not to claim a new friend as one of your best friends. That could be the biggest mistake you could ever make. Not only will you see down the road that they are a totally different person than you thought they were; but also that maybe the reason they got so close to you is because they want something you have, and the only way to get it is to pretend to be your best friend. A B.E.S.T. F.R.I.E.N.D. is someone you have known for a long time, someone who you've shared so much with, someone who will give you advice no matter what it is about, someone who is there for you at all times, and most importantly, someone you trust, and you don't have the slightest doubt in that trust.
I know who my friends are. And I know who my B.E.S.T. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. are. It's sad, and pathetic, but it took me all this time to finally realize who I have to block out of my life, and who I have to keep close to me.
B.O.Y.S. // Boys are not everything. Sure, they are great to have around, and they can be oh so sweet. Then there are times when they are such assholes and you never want to talk to them again. They cause so much drama in your life. They take you on a constant emotional rollercoaster. But hey, if you are that upset with your boyfriend//if he is that much of an asshole to you//if you have to question his "love" for you; then why let him treat you like that? Just drop him and find a new one. Trust me, i know it's not easy. I've been in that position before; but if you really want to be happy; it's something you have to do.
//-- Things with me, boywise, have been unbelievably amazing lately. I couldn't ask for anything more. Greg and I have seemed to have gotten even close since we have broken up. It's kind of weird, but in a good way. It's like he wants me so much more, since he doesn't have me now. He's such a sweetheart. He's sweeter than ever to me. The way he talks to me; the things he says to me; the way he touches me; the way he kisses me; the way he blows in my ear and tells me he loves me. It's amazing. He has decided he's moving to Columbus instead of Texas, and I'm so glad. I couldn't imagine how things would be; how I would be; if my best friend moved that far away. I truley do love him
so i got really really bored. and took a bunch of random pictures of myself. so if you don't like to look at me, then don't look at them.
Greg asked me to be his girlfriendof course i said yes | | |
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