Well Hello There...

It's been quite a while since I've felt the urge to update this thing. Quite frankly, I don't feel like updating now either but I have nothing better to do, so why not. So, what's been going on in my life? Well, school has started back up (horray... not). I really do hate LCCC. Horray for Thirteenth Grade!! Really, it's like being in high school all over again, a time in my life that I'd rather not relive. But anyway, let's see. Nothing really interesting with the whole school thing, obviously. Onto more exciting matters... Although I no longer attend Shippensburg University, I have swayed Fam into allowing me to be a part of the marching band. I know, I know, it seems completely ridiculous, but it's one of the most amazing things that's happened to me this year. I still can't believe that it's actually real. I'm working my ass off to catch up to everyone else because they obviously have about a month and a half of practice on me, including band camp. But of course that won't deter me, by any means.

Okay now, so besides this whole band/school thing there's work. I don't work a lot but just enough to have the gas money to drive to Shippensburg once a week and have some spending money. I don't exactly know what it is about it, but I really do love my job. There's just something about it. I don't know if it's the fact that I know it's connected to my future or that I really do love helping people. Who knows, but it's fantastic.

My life has been pretty consistent lately. Not too much happening, some slight drama from the peanut gallery (aka Laura) but what else is new, seriously. I've actually kind of become more social as well. I feel as though I'm finally breaking out of my shell and have the ability to just walk up to a total stranger and carry on a conversation with them. It's a great feeling, really. Keeping with this topic, well sort of, I have actually grown a bit, not in the literal sense but in the metophoric. I've gotten over my whole deal with Kyle which is pretty nice, I guess, since I'll be seeing him wayy more often than I would have previously thought. But on the flip side of that, I don't know what the deal with me and Jason is. I haven't talked to him in ohh... a month and a half? Maybe longer? I'm not exactly sure considering the fact that I don't keep a running tally with these things. We'll just have to see what happens with everything I guess, huh?

Okay, that's enough complete randomness from me for now. I'm glad you were bored enough to actually care about my life for a second, haha. Just kidding. It's extremely exciting, I know. */sarcasm* 

Over it.

I'm just so sick of everything. I don't know what's going on in my life anymore. Just when I thought I was done losing friends, I feel as though I'm losing more, one of my best friends in particular. I just don't know what to do... It's as though once someone new comes into my friends' lives, I'm thrown aside without a second thought...

Whatever, I'm so over it.

Hello Again.

It's been quite some time since my last entry. I mean, I really don't have anything new going on. I've been working like crazy at the hospital and I went to Ship for the Fourth of July. But, that's pretty much the extent of things.

Though, there is room for confusion all of a sudden... There are people coming back into my life that I have not spoken to in almost a year. It's kind of confusing but also intriguing. I guess I'll just have to see what comes of the situation(s).

Hmm... I'm trying to think of something else worth mentioning, but I'm kind of drawing a blank here...

So, that's about it. I have a pretty lame life, I guess... Such is the life of a working girl.

Life in a Nutshell...

I've been thinking, yet again. I'm actually realizing where my life is headed. I am 100% positive in my future career choice...nursing. I took a job as a nurse's aide at the hospital and I absolutely love it. It's amazing how sure of myself I have been recently.

I'm beginning to think that since I have the important details of my life in order, maybe it's time to let someone else in. Someone to share my happiness with, to give me complete happiness. I think I'm finally ready to give a relationship another shot. But hopefully, this time, I find the right person...

Reflections.

I've been reading through other blogs. It really makes me reflect on my past. I don't know why I've done some of the things I've done. I don't know why I've let others influence me in the ways they have. It's interesting to see where I had been just one year ago and where I am today. There have been so many changes in me. I am more open to new experiences, I am more sure of myself, I have developed into a more mature young adult. That's right. A young adult. Who would have thought I'd be speaking those words. In terms of actual age, yes, as a nineteen year old, I am still a teenager, but I've grown up so much. I have taken on responsibility, a new life, a new persona, and a new job. I've been through so much. Ranging from my first year of college to figuring myself out.

I finally have a sense of who I am as a person. In the words of my mother, I have "grown up so much in this past year it's not even funny." I now realize how truly blessed I had been as a child. I've seen from my friends at school that I have a wonderful family. I have been raised very well and am very thankful for the things my parents have done for me.

I know my past few posts have been ridiculous and haven't really given all that much insight to me. I guess I've just been having so much trouble opening up. It just seems that every time I do, I get shut back down. I trust people to the point that I will tell them everything and all of a sudden, something happens and it all gets thrown back at me. I don't know what it is about my choice in friends, but for some reason I seem to choose people that demolish my trust. I'm not entirely sure if I'll ever regain my trust. It's so horrible to think that I can't even trust the people I'd considered my best friends. If I can't trust them, who can I trust?

Well, seems as though I've said enough for now. It feels good to get these things out once in a while. Ha, if only I'd be able to say these things to people and not be judged based upon them. I'm so over it...