xXx_GP_xXx's Xanga

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 09:46:26 GMT

You may appear to be very easygoing now, but chances are that you're withholding strong feelings that you don't want to bring out into the open. You may believe that you can better manage the situation if you keep your emotions subdued, but your friends will still be able to see past your smokescreen. Don't waste energy protecting others from your feelings. Being kind allows you to be honest without hurting anyone else.

my horoscope for 2day...
wonder if that's true

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Tue, 14 Oct 2008 15:59:20 GMT

so, i'm sitting here, in front of my desk...should've started to work HOURS ago, but instead, i've just been listening to songs and not doing anything...

so, this past friday, i was walking around, while a little inebriated, and i got 2 thinking about how stupid i've been...
like, seriously, stupid...
it seems like i just punish myself, or like to punish myself and brood off 2 the corner...
now, maybe that's just me, or it's a new habit, but i should stop...
at least, i should just not even talk about it...
i should just keep everything 2 myself and not show even 1 ounce of hesitation...

this will probably take the burden off of everyone who thinks i'm anything but happy...
if i have ever been a burden to anyone, i sincerely apologize...
maybe from now on, it won't show and u won't have to worry/stress/whatever...

anyway, Beyonce's If I Were A Boy is an amazing song right now...
i however, would like to point out that some dudes out there don't take ppl for granted...
so don't b making that crap ur anthem cuz there are exceptions out there...

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 13:59:58 GMT

so, i was listening to some music on the bus this morning and i got to thinking...

thinking about how i wanted to go on a rampage and just not fuckin' care about the consequences...
and how this one thing keeps bothering me and how i REALLY just wanna fuckin' go around a beat people's faces in who have ever even thought something that pisses me off...

but maybe that was just a relapse of anger that i keep away from ppl...
eh...maybe it's nothing...
i should just get back to work...

and i'm still under 230 according to the scale this morning! fuck yeah!
just gotta keep it up...
hopefully this weekend won't hurt me too bad...

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 01:48:28 GMT

so i destroyed my left elbow at the gym while doing chest 2day...
HOWEVER!
i did 2 plates and a 5 with no problem on flat bench...
i also did a plate and 2 tens on incline, no problem...
i did have trouble decline w/ plate and 25 and 10, but prolly cuz i died on the first 2...
i forgot to wear my elbow brace too so that's prolly how i hurt that, but whatever...
i got another one! ^_^

anyway, this morning, i was under 230, which is pretty kick-ass...
elbert said that i got some good traps developing, so that's kick-ass too...
gotta get bigger!
gotta get stronger!
wish my 'puter didn't break down so i still have my webcam and b able to compare photos...
blaaaaah...

anyway, i'm kinda tired...
don't feel like doing anything...
so i guess i'm gonna go lay down and watch tv and think about shit...

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:09:57 GMT

so i'm @ work right now...
i keep thinking about a couple of things...
and it's really distracting...
i feel as though i need to do something about it, but i think people just want to leave things in the past and not deal with it again...
maybe i should just forget about it...
maybe it's best...
i'll just focus more on my dieting and working out and everything...
those r good distractions, right?

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:23:23 GMT

You are being pulled off course by strong feelings that you thought were processed a long time ago, but something has reactivated these ghosts from your past. It's challenging for you to reconcile your current situation with the preferences that arise from the depths of your imagination. Pay attention to your reactions to your memories, for you must learn how to move beyond your current habits if you are to make progress.

that was my horoscope for today...that should've prolly been for yesterday...

Friday, October 03, 2008

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 13:44:05 GMT

so i was driving last night to forget about a couple of things...
and i realize that my driving's really been affected by that one incident and i don't push the gas as much...

i think i might go for a drive again 2nite and see what happens...

also, i REALLY want 2 get my ears pierced and a cross tat...
like, soon...

i also realize that i'm getting a little more free in spending money...
which isn't actually that bad nor good...
but for now, i know what i want: piercings, tat (possibly 3 total), and a bike...
i need more dangerous activities to do as well, e.g., sky diving, shark diving, hang gliding, base jumping...i want some adrenaline pumping through me...
i just need time and money...

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 23:49:12 GMT

well, i'm almost @ the end of the first week of my semi-diet plan thing...
the protein and water's not bad, the creatine is supposed to kick in, in about a month since i'm not doing the loading phase, l-glut is hopefully doing it's job, don't really know, but i don't think i'm AS sore as b4, don't know about the omega-3s, but better to have than have not, tetrazine, i just started on today.

i'm a little jittery, but that's prolly cuz i'm eating 5 "small meals" a day...
i need a new multivitamin cuz too much iron is not good 4 u and centrum gives u 100% DV...
i'm also counting calories and have made a spreadsheet...
started that yesterday...
don't know how much lunch and dinner's worth of nutritional stuff was so i guessed that both were 600...
today, i guess that lunch was also 600...
now i just need something set where i know exactly how much everything is...
yesterday, did about 2200+ calories w/ the estimates on lunch and dinner and 55g of protein
today, 1340 calories w/ estimate on lunch and 123g of protein....

i'll need a lot more protein in my diet...
anyone have any recommendations on a new multi for me to use?
i got a few suggestions from s1am...but any suggestions r helpful...
otherwise, i'm gonna need to read me some articles...
stayed up last night reading about supplements and nutrition...
well, hopefully, i'll see results and everything after about a 2 weeks or so...

let's see how this thing goes...

Monday, September 15, 2008

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 17:09:31 GMT

dear lord,

stop doing that to me...
please...

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 01:05:13 GMT

well, whatever i'm thinking, i hope it's not true...
i don't know why i keep thinking of stupid things such as these, but i should stop...
people have said that it's not good for my health...
but people also think i'm crazy for starting up my gym routine again this past monday...
eh, whatever...

i think i'm gonna be really soar tomorrow cuz i really killed my arms today...
few more things to do for work and i'll be good...
shit sucks...
work, life, all that...
eh...
fuck it...
whatever...