Mickey passed away..
and i didnt even get to say goodbye to him
i was on vacation and.. i think he died thinking that I left him.

You know.. I left thinking I'd be back in a week and a half and I'd show him I came back for him and that I'd never leave him. I always come back. This time i came back and he was already underground.

I can't say on here how he died, but I have so many regrets. He could have lived so much longer.. if I had just trusted Tommy.. things could be different.

I'm so sorry. I love you, Mickey.

R.I.P.
Mickey Nguyen
May 10, 1996-July 5, 2006

Look how we grew together. He got so old.

I believe in a next life. Because of how he died, I pray that in his next life he will be human and somehow come back into my life. I can only pray that one day I'll be a doctor, and he'll be my patient. I'll save his life because I wasn't able to this time.

got myself a new boyfriend.. look at the profile pic, can u guess who it is?

i got a job today at subway but i have another job interview on wednesday.. WITH THE ICING!!!! i wanna work there soooo bad u have no clue..

yesterday i helped my dad change my transmission fluid, my oil, my sparkplugs, fixed the noise the car was making.. all for fathers day. that was what i call quality time lol

my parents are cute!

tommy left a card behind a rock on my doorstep last night around 11.. it was soo sweet he went to kansas city with yancy today. the card said..
"Being apart from you isn't easy.. I find myself missing you so often, in so many ways.. but even though we can't be together right now, gentle thoughts of you fill my days, and dreams of you fill my nights... No matter what I'm doing, I know it would be so much nicer if I could be sharing it with you... I keep imagining things you'd say if you were with me now or the way you would laugh if something funny happened, and next thing I know, I'm daydreaming about all the things we'll do when we're together again... Although the miles come between us now, I still feel so close to you.. and I just keep hoping the days will fly by because I want you beside me to talk to, to hold, to love."

Then it had his own little message in it

hey hey ppl!! UPDATEEEE!!!

not much goin on this summer just the usual hangin out with my buddiette samantha manning!!
OH AND DRIVING!! almost wrecked on maple and ridge and uh.. we have no insurance but its cool

tommy... ha....yeah...
He lied about
1) Being alone, there was actually a girl with him when i came to his house to surprise him.. yeah
2) Yancy dropped her off.. uh no, he picked her up
3) she'd been there for three minutes.. uh no, couple of hours is more like it.
Doodoo happens.. all of those three things were within less than two minutes!

sure i lied about noel.. but.. that was one situation

but life for me is still nothing less than great! everytime something bad happens.. cry first, think about the good things in life, murder someone, and move on.. four easy steps

me: mom did u know its impossible to tan your palm and the bottom of ur feet?
mom: yeah did u not notice how black ppls hands stay the same color all year?
me: umm no.. not really..
mom: but if u want them to be darker we got some mud in the backyard.

mom: *plays with my foot with her foot*
me: *moves foot*
mom: *scoots closer*
me: MOM. STOP.
mom: u think im playing footsy with you? im not gay................ and even if i was i wouldnt go for my daughter
me: thank god

YAY PICTURES!! tons of them, havent had these for awhile!

here's my whole "intermediate" family.. havent taken one in about six years!! it felt good, even though it was awkward

here are the people/things i live with now..

ME AND ALICEA!!

and again.. only professionally taken!

yay me and my bestest best

and us again..

My first group of friends *ladies* sam, me, kaitlain, katie

here's us again!!! katie, me, sam, kaitlain

the lunch crew.. thanks danny for lookin like u wanna murder us all! everyone else did a NICE JOB OF SMILING! okay this is hard to put in order.. ones standing up: me, sam, katie. ones sittin down: derek, kaitlain, and danny!!

okay so since im out of town and bored out of my mind cuz i have absolutely NO reception here whatsover and cant text!! i've decided to do an entry about my personal (love) life and whoever wants to read it, can..

alright so during the length of me and tommy's 9 month relationship, ppl always tell me they saw him making out with this girl in front of their house and that he did this with her and that with the other her.. and it gets to me, cuz if u know me im as gullible as gullible gets!! i have trust (and jealousy) problems and if tommy didnt do anything wrong to me during our nine months, i have nothing to worry about. i freaked out when he went to prom without me (of course this is my fault) and so i told him i wanted to be on break while he was in hawaii.. and he begged me not to do that becuz he didnt wanna keep on breakin up and gettin back together so he didnt wanna get back with me after hawaii. i was REALLY mad and i was just like.. "then why are we still together?" so we broke up the night of prom (may 7th). also we didnt talk as much as we used to, and talking is pretty much everything to me in a relationship. now here's where diego comes in.. me and diego texted each other for like 2-6 hours every night but i didnt wanna go out with him becuz i wanted to get back together with tommy until i heard that he went to this party with this girl named amanda and they were all freak dancing when he got and yeah.. (u dont think thats cheating? i do, i mean thats RUBBING ON EACH OTHER!) i saw on her xanga that they went partying together. i confronted tommy about it, and he said i could ask tailor cuz he "went home and studied for the ACT the next morning." also when i tried to show him her page, it was gone.. WEIRD? i think so! but i believed him. when i heard that i cried at the riverfest and yeahh i was pretty darn mad. that night i gave all of tommys stuff to alicea so i wouldnt have to look at it (thanks alicea) and then that night..

diego asked me out, and i said yes.

i hesitated, because well.. it seemed like i used him to get over tommy or to make tommy jealous right? right. i told him i didnt want him thinkin that and he said "if i thought that i wouldnt be askin u out i really like u and if it dont work out then we'll just be friends."

diego IS boyfriend material ppl! he's just not right for me.. i wont list reasons why bcuz i dont want my face rearranged but lets just say hes hardcore gangster. enough said. he's realllllllllll funny but like i said, not right for me. we had a great day wednesday. in the morning, i picked up tommy from the airport, then took diego out to lunch and a movie and we probably grew closer.. buttttttttttt then i hung out with tommy again that day after diego and i just.. i dont know.. i was SO confused !! so after 4 days.. no more tammy and diego. he was SOOOOOOOOOOOO mad at us its not even funny. tommy was sittin right next to me and.. diego sent him mean texts and yeah was all like "tell tommy the next time i see him i aint askin questions.."

yeah tommy confessed he went to that party. so during this relationship, we both lied. i lied about the movies with noel.. and he lied about the party. he SAYS he didnt drink or dance with her.. and i GUESS i'll believe him but i will try to work thru it with him like he worked thru noel..

we still arent together, but tomorrow would be our ten months! we'll keep counting, bcuz sam and sam kept counting even tho she had another relationship.. if sam does it, its okay

i messed up badly.. but i'll learn from it all