Everythings so god dham stressfull..I juss took the nursing entrance exam saturday and I'm praying to God to get in..No one fucking understands how badly I need this not even my teachers..None of those other bitches need it more than I do I swear imma die if I don't get in..The end of the marking periods this friday and I didn't do so good in my other health core class..Ay Nako!! tell me how I fuckin fail a test I worked so dham hard in..I swear if I dun get a good grade on my report imma die..And tell me how I get a 93 on my test! Im so fucking STUPID!!!! Why didnt I check my answers? Why? Why? Why?!! and then today I take a global test that our teacher only gave us one day 2 study for..Hopefully I did gewd...Lukily my friends Angelica and Adrian helped me cheat...I can't afford to fail..n tomorrow I got a math test..I've been studying for it so i should atleast get a 90 with all the extra credit I did..but ay nako im so fuckin paranoid i need help lmao..

           Why is it when u tell ppl one thing they dun seem to listen to u and when all goes wrong they get mad at chu..whatever..sometimes i feel like i had enough but never enough to let go..maybe its cuz supposively half the time its my fault or just maybe is cuz I have too much love..
          ::sigh:: Valentine was juss ok not exciting not boring juss fine..I learned to stop dreamin n expecting..whatever..hmm yesterday chilled wif Meh and Cybs wooo we rode in a car wifout tellin our moms roflmao..Had sum fun and missed hanging out wif dem..Schools been stressful so durin this mid winter break juss been tryin to hang out wif fwends n family..tomorrow gonna chill wif Daniel n Kuya Chris n Tiffany (for a short while LoL)...nepoopz yeah im tired lattaz muahhz

                           xoxoCeSxoxo

             Sometimes theres juss sum things you cant tell people about cuz you urself dont knoe how to handle the situation or emotion. Ive had a lot to think about while resting and relaxing myself this week and I've found a conclusion as to what path I'm taking besides wanting to make a difference. This mornin had a argument with my mom regarding my path in life and I was naming certain medical areas and shes like oh dey dont make money. Im sitting there yellin at her cuz obviously she doesnt see why I want to be a health worker. I want to me in the medical field because I want to help others not becuz of making money. My main point is dont do sumtin juss becuz your parents tell you to or juss becuz u knoe u'll make money. We dont need anymore bitchy nurses or anymore stupid doctors. We need people who enjoy what their doing and appriciate every little thing they do because it was your decisions and not ur parents.
              Newayz sowwie juss wanted to let that out after my argument with my mom. Nehowz yesterday chilled wif Sarah, Tiffany, Irish, Kevin, Ate Roselyn, and My Baby since I havent chilled wif my old fwends in awhile and juss wanted to spend sumtime since my plan wif having a party isn't happening but whatever. Sarah helped me out by giving me all these college brochures to help me out. I may still be a sophmore but I got a lot going for me and now that I knoe my path in life I got to make sure I'm making right choices as to my source of education. Yup yup it's time to be serious.. Newayz wooo I had the best strawberry cheesecake eva yesterday and Sarah ur hair is stylin LoLz..yup yup it was all gewd and fun..Sometimes its good to be the ones who help you enjoy life and let you be yourself..

                                             xoxo Ces xoxo

            Snow and cold weather is realli killin me..Im in pain from shoveling at 7 in da mornin..ack..Im supposed to be resting but whatever..
            Lifes been type stressful after a long week of finals and a knock into reality. I realized that even if I thought I had set up a goal for me I'm not even sure if I can pursue it. Friends and family are tellin me I can do it but sometimes I look at myself and I dont see me accomplishing what I want to do in life. I guess its juss that sometimes I dun even knoe what I want to do so I started to think. Deep inside all I want to do is help people. I want their to be no more starvation and poverty. I dont want kids dying and people suffering. I want to do my part to make a difference and I think now Im motivated to take that step. I'm going to do whatever it takes even if it means bringing in more books and no more time for fun its about time for me to get serious for once in my life.
            Its time for a change and a time for someone to step up to the plate for all those who screwd up already. Im the onlee one left in my house and its up to me to show the rest of my other relatives that Im different and Im stronger and smarter enough to do something with my life. I can do this.

                                      xoxo CeS xoxo

          Being 16 now helps me to be more mature and change the way I view life. Merely because I've been in this world for 16 years and I've been through a lot of shit. However, when I look back I laugh at the crazy things Ive been through. Sure I've been hurt many times and sure I've recovered and sure I hate to go through the same things repeatedly especially at the beginning of the new year. However I know now more then ever that life is created that way. We must go through all these situations only to help us grow to who we are going to be in the future. I look around at all the problems going around the world and realized my problems are nothing compared to whats happening in the world today. As I turned 16 this passed thursday I realized I have to change. Not because of the fact that now Im 16 and considered a young lady but because I want to be a better person so that maybe someday I can make a difference or atleast help others in the future. I know now to trust my own instincts and try to handle things my way and not give a fuck at what others have to say.
            My birthday was quite not as I expected. My friends and my family were there for me to help me have a good one even if deep inside I was emotionally hurt by causes that Im still understanding myself. I guess that's why I had to release a lil up der ^ and it helps. Thanks to all those who remembered and who were there to give me a smile especially My Baby. My baby made my whole gym class sing to me and invited some of my friends to come to my house. He also got me the I Love You Bear I wanted hehehe. Special thanks to Marielle for the balloons and carnations it was soo sweet of you even if it was annoying cuz by the end of the day I had like 10 ballons grrr LoL. Thanks also to meh and cybs for the words of wisdoms I dunno wat I wud do wifout yous. Well Im out to give propz..Take Carez Muahz
                                          ~CeS~