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| Im losing SO much of my hair. Its really not pleasent. You run your fingers thru my hair and a hand full comes out.  Its probally from stress or something. My mom wants me to go to the doctors. | | |
| Hey...sorry i havent updated in a while. Iv been kinda busy. I was at my aunts on friday-sunday. Saturday was warped. Honestly i didnt have a very good time. You can read about it at the link below..And you can also read other stuff thats happened in the last week or so if youd like. *shrugges*
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=Forever_dirt
And as far as ana, things have been strange. Its like i cant eat anymore, even if i wanted too. Everytime i eat, i get a stomach ache. I mean EVERYTIME. Iv had a stomach ache all fuckin week even when i havent eaten. Its just always there. And when i eat it gets worse. Its not nice. But atleast now i have something stopping me from over eating.
I met one of my sisters friends during the week. And he said the whole time he ever spent with me, (which was a span of 4 days) he only saw me eat once. I dont know what the point of tell you that was..lol..but oh well..
anyways iv got to get going.. | | |
| So im going to my sisters tonight for the next week or so. I like going to her house because i dont eat alot. But when i do eat, its junk food, like chinese, chips, pizza..shit like that. Mmmm chinese food...i love veggie fried rice..mmm...
Wel my lip seems to be fine. Everything seems to be healing the way it should.
And im getting my ana control back. Which is good. I just want to get back on track and actualy lose some weight. Again im not going to make my deadline (how pathetic is that?). Im such a failuer, so my next dead line will be when school starts. And thats an important one. Im probally going to a new school and i dont want to enter it as a big fat blob!!!
I need some thinsperation..
Anyways thats it for now, i have to get dressed and pack for my sisters. She got the internet again, so ill probally be able to update, No guarentes tho!! BYE!! | | |
| Im binging binging binging!!!!!!
I dont know what to do im having mixed feelings here.
I dont want to eat. But i REALLY should.
I dont want to gain weight. But i dont want an infected lip.
I dont know what to do. Its almost like i have to choose between my piercing or my weight.
I know iv said this all before but, without proper nutrition it will take longer to heal. And i dont want to go to warped with a crusty red infected still swollen lip. Not something people will find pleasent im sure.
But the flip side. I want to be skinnier. Im not sure how skinny i cant get in 12 days, but i could try. I would atleast like to FEEL skinnier then i feel right now.
Im sure the logical thing to do would be to eat the food i need to eat in order to heal, but just eat it in proportion.
Yeah....iv tried. I just end up getting out of control. I need to get my brain back in ana mode so i can controll myself.
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