x_So_I_waited_x's Xanga

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:26:42 GMT

2 recent songs i've written

Stonewalls and Arguments

V2 Speak to me

this silence is heartbreaking

And i can hardly take it

Speak to me

And kiss me

this waiting seems unbearable

and I can barely speak at all

Just kiss me

Chorus:

Lets Stop this fighting

I cant survive it

Let's just put this behind us

We wont let this define us

Lets stop this argument

There is no point to it

We know we'll make it through.

It's always me and You.

V2. Sometimes I know I say the wrong things

Its never quite what I mean

Forgive me

And sometimes you act as if you dont care.

It's more then I could ever bear

Comfort me

Chorus 1x

Bridge

Lets Break these walls between us

Lets warm the cold air in here

Chorus 1x

Grasping the Concept

Chorus:

Heart Stops. I cant breathe. You do this to me.

I'm falling. I cant Get up.

I'm falling in love.

V1. Silence fills the room as I

try and put into words what I

feel inside. I cant describe.

You leave me speechless

and I know why

Maybe it's those whispers.

That leave me stuck in shivers.

Or it could be that long embrace.

It lets me know i'm in the right place.

Chorus 1x.

V2. All these reasons seem shallow.

Baby I wish you could just know

You have changed me

rearranged me in and out

You helped me find my place and

you gave me inspiration.

I dont know where i'd me

without you here with me.

Chrorous 1x

Bridge:

Fingers pounding on these keys

Here I am giving all of me.

Please say it's enough.

Owner of my heart forever.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 20:54:21 GMT

“I knew that I had come face to face with some one whose mere personality was so fascinating that, if I allowed it to do so, it would absorb my whole nature, my whole soul, my very art itself.” -Oscar Wilde

Wow. Joe and I have been together for about 11 monthes and twelve days. It's incredible to think that it was just a couple years ago when I was anxious out of my mind because I wanted to know who that special boy would be.And then I finally found him. He crept into to my life so suddenly and changed it forever. He was the most interesting boy that I had ever met. We started talking and we couldn't stop. There was so much to him beneath the surface and I found myself wanting to know it all. He became the best friend that I had ever known and I later found myself head over heels in love with him. 11 monthes later, not a thing has changed except for the fact that i'm even more in love with him then I could possibly imagine and it grows and grows everyday.

My life has changed so much in the past year. This boy has helped inspire me and strengthen me more then I could even begin to describe. This year was definetely my biggest growing year and I had to learn a lot of lessons that really made me wise up and mature a lot. I love this boy. So much.

"Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher."

"Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.”

Then there are those Incredible friends of mine. I have a ton but there are those four core friends that really mean the world to me and who have been there through so much. I love those girls.

Stephanie Hawn a.k.a Tepo- This girl is pretty much amazing.She is super talented. She knows how to rock it on stage with her piano, acoustic, or electric guitar. She never involves herself in anyones drama. She never listens to gossip or gossips herslef. She is such a solid person and really knows who she is. I love her to death and she is a super sweet photographer too. That's actually the only reason i'm friends with her. Everything else was just random.

Jennifer Leu a.k.a J.Leu- This girl and I have been super close foreverrrrrrrrr. We have seen each other through some major crap and major crappy decisions. She has helped me out with sooooo many things. She is probably the bravest girl I have ever met and will say things to people that I would never dare to. She is honest...sometimes too honest but never fake. What you see with her is what you get. If she doesn't like you, You WILL know. That's what I love about her. Her and I have some of the craziest and most retarded moments ever. haha I love it

Kimberly Allen a.k.a Kimberlynn- Haha...man...this girl is out of control crazy. She will do and say the most random things and then just walk away leaving you with the thought of "....What?" She is another person that doesnt care about peoples opinions. You can say what you want about her and she isnt even going to give it a second thought. This girl is not just crazy though. Theres definetely more to her then a lot of people see. She's super deep and wise and when you are alone with her you can have incredible conversations. She is also one of the most caring people I know. I love her!

Christina Bishop a.k.a Tia. A.k.a my Love for Life a.k.a L.F.L

So pretty much...she's incredible. She has been there for me in my roughest moments always helping me through and always helping me make the right decisions. Sometimes we fight over stupid things but we're over them two seconds later. She's the friend that I can honestly say feels like a sister to me. I know i'm going to be friends with this girl forever. We met in the 5th grade and hated each other...because I stole her spot on the cheerleading squad. haha Who wouldve thought we'd hit it off 5 years later. She is such an incredible and talented girl. She plays the piano, she's a songwriter, and has one of the most amazing voices I have ever heard. If you want to judge by yourself go to www.myspace.com/christinabishop She has done SO MUCH for me and I dont know if I could ever even begin to repay her. She's such a sweetheart

So i guess thats my update

Breathe On Me Now

Wed, 10 Oct 2007 13:33:57 GMT

.:*Psalm 46:10- Be still and know that I am GOD*:.

BREATHE ON ME NOW
Kathryn Scott

When my soul has cried its tears
And my heart begins to faint
Will You draw near?
Will You meet with me?

When my days are filled with longing
And my spirit groans and waits
Will You draw near?
Will You meet with me?

I'm calling and waiting
Your presence Lord is life to me

Breathe on me now as I bow down
I'm desperate Lord for more of You
Come satisfy until I
Am even more in need of You

When my dreams have been forgotten
And my hope begins to fade
Will You draw near ?
Will You meet with me?

When my days are filled with searching
And my strength has given way
Will You draw near
Will You meet with me

I'm calling and waiting
Your presence Lord is life to me

Weekend Craze

Sat, 28 Jul 2007 14:42:47 GMT

mmm wow..so i have to say that so far this weekend is AMAZING! So joanie picked me up to see hairspray yesterday afternoon and we LOVED IT!! We are going to buy it and learn all the motions. And then we went grocery Shopping at ALDYS. That was sweet! Then..we went home and Jen was waiting for us and then us three hung out and we watched An Nsync video i had taped cuz Nsync is frikken amazing! And then Kendra Came over and us four talked and went into my room and then Joe Kogut And Joe Puuri (my Joe )came over and then we tried to play Jr. pictionary but after a while we all realized that we fail at that game. Stuffed Animal!? haha. And then we tried to watch a movie..Grind..that was a uh..interesting experience...And then Joanie Left and Jen, Kendra and I played outside for a while while Joe and Joe talked to my motherr and ThenWe came back in and we ALL talked and that was funnn and then Joe had to leave at like 12:00. But first we had another famous permanent marker fight..haha my arms are covered. So After he left Joe, Kendra and I found a frog and tehhehehe my mother and Jen are afraid of frogs so we spent like 40 minutes chasing them around outside with my little bro..it was interesting. Then we all watched stomp the yard!! yess! That movie rocks! haha and then it was over and then we went upstairs and were all super hyper and then I called Joe at like 2:50 in the morning! And he was like..."You're still up?!?!" And I was like YEAHH KOGUTS STILL HERE!! And joe's like sweet! Im coming back over!! So he came back over and we all talked and Joe and i were being pyscho hyper haha and it was so much fun and then the guys finally left at liek 4:40 a.m and then jen, Kendra, And I all went to bed.

Then in the morning Jen left at nine and then Ben,jessica, Jacob, And dawn came over and then Kendra had to leave and then Laura Swanson, Abby swanson, and gena swanson, and both the Joes came over and like 10 and then we all had breakfast and the jacob and dawn had to leave and then my joe.. and then Joe, Laura,Abby,Jessica, Ben and I all hung out in my room and talked..then jess and ben left and laura and Abby stayed for a while and then It was just Kogut and I and he is actually still here sleeping in my room i think haha i dunno. Anyhow. Today is miss carranzas wedding and im going and then after im going up to Joe's Cottage so yeaaa! This is an amazing weekend!!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 13:31:11 GMT

SoOoOoOo Saturday was Joe and i's 5 month anniversary!! And we went to Michigan Adventure with Ben and jessica! It was amazing! Joe is amazing! Then Yesterday we hung out with Mike vanhal and his girlfriend Megan and that was fun also. And basically this summer has just been sweet! Whoo hoo! I have seen millions of movies this past month! Or not millions but quite a few. 1408,fantastic four,Evan Almighty, transformers, License to Wed, Harry Potter, Die Hard. Probaly more but i cant think of them. transformers was a ton of fun though cuz it was christina and I with Joe, Evan, Andrew, And Jason. Hmm...summer is going by soo fast! I hate that! gahh! Oh and 2 weeks ago i went tograce Camp again for family camp! And joe came for half the week! And also i saw a hawthorne heights concert with Joe and ummm my family and i spent the night at Joes cottage! Anways thats pretty much all. The end!

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Thu, 28 Jun 2007 03:31:07 GMT

I got to hang out with Kendra and Ashleigh on tuesday. It was pretty much amazing. i like them. =) I went over to ash's at like 2:30 and then we hung out with sophie for a little bit..and then courtney and britney and then just us..and then joe and kendra came over..but joes not important in this story because all he did was sleep. haha and now joe has learned his lesson..sleeping with ash, kd, and I around..not the brightest idea as he realized by numerous items such as pillows and stuffed animals dropped on him and then the culprits crawling away army style down the hall...No person will probaly understand this except for kendra and ash and ash is at camp so probaly only kendra will see this. But anyways it was soo much fun hangin out with those girls! It's been a while!then after i went over to joes and hung out with him and his mom and sister.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 00:14:40 GMT

So this summer has been quite enjoyable.Saturday I spent the day up at Joe's cottage with the basketball team and Kelsey and that was so much fun! kelsey and i had some good talks and it was just fun being there with Joe. I saw Nancy drew today with Joe and caleb..yes i forced joe to come but its okay. he actually enjoyed even if he wont admit. And yesterday i saw this movie called 1408!! OMGOSH!!! SOOO FREAKY!!! I saw it with caleb,joe and my parents and I was scarred..gahh! Im leaving On saturday afternoon i think for 9 days to camp! That should be fun. And i get to go to a secondand serande concert with Joe! whoo hoo! I hadnt written on xanga in forever so i just felt like doing it..i dunno why but i did.

Updates on friends?!?

Well Jen and christina and Joe are still my best friends. They have been pretty amazingly consistent in my life. i adore them all. Joe has certainly kind of bloomed into my boyfriend but he is still always above all my best friend.

Ive been talking to jess and kelsey a lot lately and joanie is sweet as always. Kendra..Well thats girl always an important part of my life I love her to death. Mears too.

Mark and jason are pretty much awesome too and they are some of my closest guy friends. -Ashleigh brooks? Still my soulmate as always. gah i love her.My older bro jay moved to california with his wife and i miss them like crazy and Rich and Laura..well they're getting married so thats cool. In october. joe and I have been togetehr for a little over four monthes and thats cool also...blah..well im off.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Thu, 24 May 2007 17:55:08 GMT

Wow...God has blessed me so much.The boy that was my best friend for so long became something more. It came unexpectedley..for me anyways and so strongly but still amazing. God really worked everything right. At first I didnt think that I would know how to be a good "girlfriend" but it was so easy just to be in love with my best friend because he has been there for through everything. He is the one guy that i have ever been able to talk to for SIX AND A HALF HOURS on the phone and never get bored. Things have changed so much. I have changed so much and so has he. But we are still a lot of the same people inside and above all we are STILL best friends. We tell each other EVERYTHING. Theres so secrets and we dont play games with each other. We just lay our hearts out and trust that the other person will understand. You have no idea how incredible it is to be with someone who knows me inside out. Someone who i dont have to worry about trying to impress because he KNOWS all my flaws...and i know his..theres no huge surprises for us....except that these last 4 monthes or 3 monthes or whatever i realized he is MUCH more incredible then i would have ever imagined. This kid is everything I ever wanted in a guy. Everything i hoped for, prayed for and even more. He is the things i never thought to pray for but now that i have a guy with them i reaize i couldnt do without. I made a list Before my Quiceanera about 3 years ago of all the things i want in a guy..every SINGLE thing. Down to the looks and down to little character traits..and..it is so incredible that he has EVERY SINGLE thing that i wrote down. Im in awe of how blessed I am. God thank you so much...you have totally and completley blessed me and given me a relationship.... Im finally in LOVE! I didn't think i would ever get there. i wasnt sure i wanted to..but i am and i have never been happier. And best of all.. GOD IS THE CENTER OF US. We pray togetehr and tlak about al lthe things God does in our lives and we ALWAYS talk about God...and we ahve grown and matured so much over the past couple years that everything that has happeend with us, rumors, drama, friends that didnt "approve", only made us stronger.

Some stuff on my list

*loves God

*Is a good leader

*Good sense of humor..will goof off with me and not care what others think

* Likes to cuddle!!!!!!!!!

* Thoughful. Always cares about my best interests..

He is all that and SOO much more. He even has the blue eyes I always wanted

Bonuses I didnt ask for

*He sings to me at random moments or just to give me butterflies idk..but i love it. He always sings to me..ahh

* Expresses how he feels in front of all his friends

*He KNOWS when something is bothering me or if i nervous about something..and then he just takes all those feelings away.

*He dances with me..even when theres no music

* He plays on the swings and on slides with me

* He kisses my forehead.

* he also has the cutest little surprise

AHHH I LOVE HIM

NEW YEARS EVE

Fri, 05 Jan 2007 21:10:35 GMT

Jason and I..I was demonstrating something for him and then kendra took a pic

Kelly Kendra and I

Kendra and I..this picture was actually somewhat candid..ha

Me and the Best friend #2..Joe

Jason and I being secret agents

i dont even know

haha we were tired of all the pictures

aww...this kid is pretty cool

haha yeah///thats us

Kendra caught us in a moment

Jason and Kendra

Kendra talking to mears...some things never change..haha///just kiddinggggg kendra!kinda....

haha wow..just us being us

hmmm

...i fell...and developed a fro

hahah ....yeahhhh this is harder then it looks

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 21:35:20 GMT

Wow Life is really....incredible. This past year....these past couple of years...i made some descisions that really changed by life..and sure there have been...a lot of hard things that happened...but i've learned from them..im still learning from them. I look back and realize its all been worth it.. things still suck sometimes..but all in all..life is incredible. Christmas break started Friday..gahh i kinda dont want it to end..But Friday was fun. It was my best friend Joe's eighteenth b-day! I surprised him with like a million things then the whole day at school was like a party day and that was amazing..and fun! Cuz i got to hang out with my other best friend Jen the whole day and have good food and play soccer in the commons..then after school Joanie and I went to Joes house and decorated for his surprise party we threw with his mom and he came at sevenish and was so surprised! I Got home at around Midnight..the party was fun! That kid is amazinnng. And then saturday I went to the mall with Jason, and Kelsey and Matt in the morning. Jason woke me up that morning inviting me. Ha but yeah we were shopping from like 11-1:30. It was a ton of fun! We saw Jess, Ben, and other people. Then at 1:30 I went to applebees to meet Brad for his B-day! Joe,Josh,Luke,Mears,matt and chels were there. Then later Chels and Joe came over to pick me up cuz we went to see Night at the museum in Imax at 9:45. It was fun. Then chels came over and stayed til like 2 in the morning. Then there was Church. Joe and I were so ADD sunday morning haha. wow we could not focus at all. The vanhals are in town! Yeah... Then aty night we had a party and the swansons came over..ya..laura and I had funnn talking. Then xmas! AMAZING! I got a ton of stuff including a digital camera and an Ipod nano..mhmmm..nice. ! Yeah..anyways... Lifes been Good..real good.