let's see...yesterday kinda sucked...my 'friend' trevor was feeling all gloomy...as usual and i wanted to help him cheer up, what i didn't know was; to make him cheer up he would have to vent on me...so he took all his anger and sadness all out on me...i would have hung up..BUT..i was so scared of what he'd do to himself if i did, he yelled at me so much and was just so mean i started crying...then he started laughing...the guy feeds off of pain, he loves watching and making people cry...i couldn't help it tho...then after i thought it was all over with and he threatened to kill me...(from anybody else i would take that lightly but i'm really afraid of him...when we were dating he hit me once and i forgave him but yeah not for this) then he told me if he carried thru with it, he would laugh as he was fucking my dead body...yeah aren't my friends WONDERFUL?? well, not all of my guy friends are like that...there's always Eli and Danny and Chris and so on. so yeah i need a bit of cheering up...n'e ways the poems below are new, so read them...btw i am NOT a cutter, it is just a poem...at the time i felt like doing it but i did not so dont worry!!

HuGS aNd kISsEs

Krystal

Just thought you should know…

…a letter to Jordan

I cut myself today

Knowing all the things I had to hear you say

Of how you led me on but loved her anyway

And how I was just a game you liked to play

Your sickness baffles me

Why didn’t I see thru your game?

Why couldn’t you just let me be?

I’m so hurt and you’re not ashamed

I felt sorry for you

When you needed to be smacked

I loved you

And then you attacked

You took my heart

Now it’s shattered and broken

This rips me apart

And my scars are a token

HOWEVER…

The scars will fade but the memories will last

of how she is your future and I, your past

Innocence lost

My hands are shaky

My knees a bit weak

My thighs are achy

And my wings I seek

I lay here on the floor

My innocence forever lost

Letting my hormones soar

And you are the cost

Lying next to you

Letting my chest rise and fall with yours

Not knowing what I’m going to do

My breath is lost—my heart soars

You hold me tight

And kiss my forehead

Don’t go, not tonight

Don’t leave me on this lonely bed

Left with only what you’ve said

Knowing only you’re what I lack

And whenever you go away

I’ll only want you back