i'm dumbfounded. we are so fickle.
i could sit all day and watch a sheep zap himself on an electric fence, gawking at how stupid it is. clearly, we have been given intelligence that is greater than sheep, but are we advanced as far as we think? we commit a sin...feel the sting of conviction...repent...live in the joy of christ for about two hours then continue to walk directly into the sinful temptations we had just overcome as if we could not recognize the evil desires at play in our hearts the entire time! seriously. we are stupid. we are fickle. i'm very glad pastor miller taught about the grandness of god this last sunday, becasue i needed to hear it.
god transcends time. i can't wrap my brain around that. there is no time for god. there is no law, physical or legislative, above god. when we sin and ask for forgivness, god sees us, and simultaneously sees his son dying on the cross, the instantly sees the brokennes in our hearts and forgives us our sins. why has this not come to my attention earlier in a christian upbringing! this is fascinating! no one wants a god who has to follow the same rules as we. i don't want a mere role model, i want a GOD. i have found him. i'm not talking simply to air when i pray. i get to talk to god. nervous. try to picture the vast"ness" of god when praying to him. cripes, it makes me feel comforted and very uncomfartable at the same time.
clearly we need to seek a friendship with god. i'm at this stage. i haven't yet commited to a relationship yet. daily, i am getting closer with my god. he loves me, but by my actions, i cannot positively say that i love him. i want to.
hallelujah to the lord of heaven and earth. hallelujah. | 
