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Tuesday, July 01, 2008

AM Movie -I don't remember the last time I was at the movie theater this early. Watching the 10:40 show of Wanted on Friday, surprisingly was a full house! The movie was hott, I still can't believe my boy Javon is going to be a father really soon! Jacole looks gorgeous and I can't wait till newborn baby Jayden be apart of this world.
Outlet shopping- w/ my two of closest friends. They spent more than me and I was the one who wanted to go shopping! word! I spent just under my budget cuz I know there's more shopping to do when I go away next week. I saw a Sonic but didnt get a chance to eat there cuz my friend is a veggie. Oy, maybe next time.
Montebello Lake- I grew up in this nieghborhood. I can't believe the transition now. The lake is much cleaner now and it was def nice joggin/walking yesterday. This time it wasnt with the wind, but against it.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Summer 2008
I started to write again. I begin to feel like Carrie from "Color" in the City, . If you havn't seen the movie, you should go watch it cuz I loved it! I don't normally catch up with the seasons but after watching the movie, it made me feel like I should. but then I have all the Grey's Anatomy Seasons I need to watch. I can never get enough of them. This summer is a bit tiring, from wedding planning to taking care of business non- stop. I havn't had much time to myself nor have I seen daylight! I missed alot of those days when it rained while the sun was out. Still yet to see a double rainbow!
Max finally called: is what I saved to my phone. It's been 2 mo since the guy hit my parked car and I've been waiting since for him to call back so that we can handle this situation. It's more complicated than you think. Yesterday, he finally called. God answered my prayers indeed. I hope the rest is a breeze.
So here's something unexpectingly funny. I saw 4 jewish grandma's playing Mah jong at Panera Bread this afternoon today?!!! yeh.... thats right, at Panera Bread! it was hilarious! my dad and I sat across from them and we were watching the entire time we were eating. They each had different hair colors too! I saw a brunette, a blonde, and whatever the other two was. They were smokers too! Some gamblers eh. This is something us asians should consider.....yeh right, lol.
Hopefully I get to relax soon.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Accept Yourself As You Are

Self acceptance is being loving and happy with who you are NOW.
Some call it self-esteem, others self-love, but whatever you call it, you'll know when your accepting yourself cause it feels real good!

Its an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate, accept and
support who you are at this very moment, even those parts you'd like to eventually change.

This is key...even those parts you'd eventually like to change. Yes, you can accept (be okay with) those parts of yourself you want to change.

Motivation Behind Lack of Acceptance

If acceptance feels so good, then why don't we accept ourselves?

Motivation.

Motivation to get us to do, not do, be, and not be. Many
people believe that if they accepted themselves as they are, they
wouldn't change or that they wouldn't work on becoming more of who they want to be.

We hate ourselves for being fat to get ourselves to diet. We berate ourselves for mistakes to make ourselves more attentive. We feel guilty to make ourselves do what we think we should. We judge ourselves unfavorably with the hope it will motivate us to change. We hope if we feel bad enough about ourselves, that maybe that will motivate us to change.

Does this work? Hardly. All it does is...well, cause us to feel bad and feeling bad just saps your energy you might have used to make changes. It works exactly counter to what you wanted to do.

"Acceptance allows change. The "acceptance mode" includes everything, even my judgments. It allows me to be okay now, even before I reach my goals."

"When you begin to accept yourself the way you are right now, you begin a new life with new possibilities that did not exist before because you were so caught up in the struggle against reality that that was all you could do."

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

A flash from the past-

My middle school buddy Derrick called me today after I got off from the lab. We met up for a quick lunch at Paws and finally caught up on each other. It's great that he transfered from Morgan to Towson to finish up his college education and that everything is going well for him. I suppose there's alot goin on, especially since he's soon to be a father. He's living with his girlfriend now and they are only 2 mins away from me!! Then he tells me that one of our old neighborhood buddies is surprisingly a lesbo now and another buddy is pregant and moved out. I guess she probably never finished college. That's like the 9th person I know that's having a baby this year. It's crazy how people develop and change as we grow. My other friend has graduated and is probably going to get engaged soon. It's like a trend going on. Why are they settling so soon? Heck, I'm happy for them as long as their happy. I grew up with these gals back in the city and I'm just shocked with all thier transitions. I won't settle for anything. Not now, not until I put my thoughts into actions, which would be many years to come. I feel that my generation is the most fucked up generation. My conclusion is that there is a huge difference between gwowing older and growing up.

~ About 2 weeks till I find out about Hagerstown. I hope I attract good news.