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| i don't know whats up with the N.A house anymore. There's still people bidding and shit and some complications but whatever. Yesterday me, leah, audrey and my mom were looking online for stuff we can buy for the new house. I looked up canopy beds. Theyre gorgeous =]. But expensive. I told my mom how much they were and she told me that me and DreDre can get at least 500 - 700 dollar beds, since it's gonna be ours for a while. So excited about that. My parents and Leah left for Florida today at around 4. I was awake cause my mom woke me up with her voice when she was waking up my dad and leah. She kept on telling me to check the doors and stuff. Today at school was boring. We had a half day because of parent teacher confrences. Thank God my parents aren't going. Victor was in school today. After 2nd period me and Vicky were walking through the 2nd floor hallway and then we had to stop cause there was a line for the stairs and we couldn't get through, and so victor was coming and i said out loud "roll your eyes again"...then i said it again but i came out "rogan" LMAO. And vicky's like "what.. rogan?" lmao. Oh mann im an idiot. Idk if he heard me..he proally thought i was an idiot. Thats all that pretty much happened today. Ugh God tommrow me and Susan are gonna teach a lesson to the kids since its the day that theyre celebrating halloween. So i had to change my whole lesson plan, i dont even know if ms. carroll realizes it but whatever. I so don't wanna present my lesson plan. Its about this pattern of a pumpkin and we get orange tissue paper and make the kids tear up the paper into tiny pieces and then glue it on the pumpkin till it's covered. Boring i know! but what chan ya do ya know?! iight well byebye. wish me luck on the lesson plan | | |
| we got the house in north arlington. my mom changed her mind. Now we're moving in before christmas. I have to finish my sophomore year in KHS though. But now that i think about it, i really don't wanna leave KHS. All my friends are there. The people i've known since the 3rd grade are there. I don't want to go to NAHS. I wouldn't mind going to any other school but not NAHS. I don't know where to go...i'll get lost and i won't have anyone there. I'm going to be depressed if i end up going to NAHS. I wont enjoy the remaining of the sophomore year and the summer cus i'll be worrying about NAHS. Ugh fuck. I asked my dad if i can be in KHS until highschool ends and he says its my choice, then like 10 seconds later he goes "no" i cant. I only finish sophomore year there. I'm going to beg. Only 4% of Asians go to NAHS, 0% african american, i dunno how many hispanics but 88% white. What if they're racist there? God i hate this. I regret every saying "i wish i move, i wish i get out of KHS" well i got my fucking wish. But i never expected to go to NAHS, i always thought id end up going to NHS (nutley high), I guess all thats left of me to do is beg them to let me stay in KHS. but if we get caught thats a 500 - 600 dollar fine! ANyway today was boring again. Victor didn't look at me..i think nor did i look at him. IDk anymore. today was my one month anniversary with vic =] we didnt see each other today, only after 2nd period so it pretty much sucked. im out. i hate guys. fuck guys. fuck life. fuck nahs. love KHS <3 i'll miss it and i'll miss kearny. | | |
| Gonna make this short. Nothing happened at school. To sum it all up: IT WAS GAY AND BORING. I still hate Pooh...that motherfucking bastard. Everytime i see her face i just wanna slam it on the ground. Paybacks a bitch...hey what can i say! Victor stayed in for lunch today again. When we were going up the stairs after the bell rang for 6th pd, Steph V kept placing her hand on his ass. =\ it sorta bothered me but hey theyre just friends. Him and his friends acted gay as usual. Oh and Vicky wrote me a note which said the same thing she to me yesterday "i have a feeling victor doesn't like you" like uhh yeah don't keep rubbing that in my face sweethart. Jeez. Anways in the morning, I was passing Elli on the 3rd floor and Victor was right there, so I was smiling at Elli and Victor kept looking at me. I see you looking?! like what yah see? lol. Oh so today i came home and my dads like we lost both the houses we wanted [ the north ar. one and the wayside ] and i'm like huh? what?. And then they xplained that it was because it was near those transmission lines. So after mae got home, i finished up my geom hw and english essay. Then me, mae, leah, dad and dre dre headed out to nutley to check on wayside, like how far the transmission lines are and then went to N.A to check out the First Street one. My mom doesn't want the N.A one anymore but after checking out the N.A house again, my dad changed his mind and wants it again. Now all we have to do is convince my mom. Personally i dont wanna move there, but at least i get my own room finally. Anyways i'm out. Oh and i got an 84 on my geom quiz i took like a couple days ago. Dont think i did too well on my test though =\ H0lla | | |
| Life just really sucks right now, what else is fucking new?! Earlier in the morning i was talking to vicky and outta nowhere she goes "hey babes remember you said that victor doesn't like you? ...i think its true babes". I was completly blown away from that. Vicky is one of my girls, and she says that?! Before she said that, i at least had 5 ounces of hope left to hang onto, but then Vicky says that and now theres no hope at all for me and victor. I don't think any of my friends know how hurtful and how hard it is to go on everyday, liking this guy and have that guy not care that you like him or him have a girlfriend already. I just wish Victor dumps her so bad. I'm not being mean and i aint being malice or whatever but i know she's not right for him. They live more than thousands of miles away from each other. long distance relationships barely work. I honestly dont know how victor feels for me. And i doubt he knows how i feel for him. Maybe if he was smart, he would figure out the clues and stuff but not how much i truley truley do, no one knows how much i really do. I over react over the SMALLEST things he does, simply because i care about him a lot. Then theres Steve. God i miss him. I miss him so much. He made me feel so good inside but hate myself at the same time. Life is crazy and love is unkind. I miss Steve not enough to want him back, but enough to make it hurt...a lot. My mom and I are still not talking. She can be a real bitch sometimes....PMSing shoot. We gonna look for more houses tommrow. Finding a house is gonna take a while. I want one in nutley not anywhere else, except maybe paramus. I have a fucking geometry test on monday so i gotta study for it tommrow. i have to study for it. i have to get good grades. i have to get a good average for geometry cause its the only shit i'm doing bad in. I can't afford to fuck up like i did last year. i just cant. i'll be disappointing myself and my parents. but i'm doing this for me. not for them. I also have an essay due on tuesday for lit class. stupid motherfuckkkasss its so gay, the margains have to be a certain length or u get points taken of....God this fucking blows. Like WTF?! who cares. who is actually pathetic enough to measure margains?! these people need to get laid more often. oh um i dunno if i'm teaching the kidds for child dev class on monday. i don't wanna do it but its better to get it over and done wit! i still gotta make photocopies of my stupid tree pattern lmao. i'm outt kidds | | |
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