asher-lee, laura lot, 'n toE flecher jus left..aww..i miss 'em already!

sooo yeah on wednesday night ash steph n laura finally got here...@ like 930 er so...n then on thursday i hada go to school but they didnt wanna wake there bums up early anyways sooo yeah they jus slept n whatever n went to the store n stuf when i was at school n then they picked me up..and lmfao...OMG..ive never met any peoples who took like a freakin hour to figure out how to get from my house to my school...AND i left them directions..omg it was great...they called my phone like 10 times and im not exaggerating n i called em backk 10 times n wow it was really mixed up n it was ungodly freezing outside...but yeah they finallllyy found there way n thenn we came back to my house to get some money n stuffs n we went to the mallll...n omg did u know its like 6.25 for a REGULAR size samwich @ quiznos? i think i will nott continue my customer status there...even tho ive only be there once haha..soo yeah we went to wal mart after that (but david wasnt there cuz it was thursday hahahha) n then anyways i bought a camera n sum gum...lmao it was all fuzzy n kinda open..i was like wtf when i got out..oh well it was wrapped inside...ha so yeah we jus went back home n talked n talked n then me n ash went on a walk...ha...'n my mom n dad wanted to make em dinner cuz theyre dorks...but..yeah we ate n then they wanted to chill with richard or whatever sooo...i go outside right..n then like richards outside getting stuff outa his car so i was like you know what..fuck it..i need to go talk to him cuz this argument over nothing has gone on for way too long..soo i went over there and we started to talk..and then steph n ash n laura all came out sooo we were all jus talking being dumb..n then me n richard went into the car..lmao..and OMG that boy does not know how to concentrate n he was procrastinating the convo n smiling which made me smile the whole time...it was lovely....soo we were jus talking and then laura n steph came in the car haha..but i kept talking n then sooo yeeah everythings good with me and richard again which is good...but we both know it was so stupid in the first place...so yeah we jus chilled outside for awhile n then we went to get sebastian....n omg lmfao...i was in the front n ash n steph n laura were in theback so there was no room in the car..so he sat his ass on my lap and had his feet dangling out the window..ut was so hilarious omg...hahaahhaha...im cracking up just thinking about it..lol...soo yeah anyways we went back to the front of our house n then we played zig zag in lauras car..lmao thats where u go in the car with no seatbelt and laura was driving like a psycho person n ok the first time it was me n steph in the back n ash was in front and holy crud muffin...me n steph like collided and BAM...and omg..lmao...my jaw hurt so bad! it was fun tho but then yeah we drove to the school so sebas n richard could do *zig zag* in the parking lot n yeah theyre such babies...ha so yeah went home...sebastian n richard came over n we jus chilled soo..yeah..we didnt go to bed til like 2 n i had to get up @ 6 on friday cuzz..ok..i wasnt guna go to school...but my mom didnt know that..haha sooo i woke up @ the regular time and got ready n then i woke ash up @ 615 to take a shower n then laura n steph @ 645 sooo...then i left n richard dropped me off like by seba's house n then i waited there omg...they took forever..like 15 minutes holy crap haha...and iw as freezing my as of and this black dog kept staring at me and barking and i was like holy shit if i die by a dog...its their fault hahahha...but yeah they finally got there n we went to la jolla..aww its so pretty...n we went to this lyl restaurant like right by the beach...it was so cute..but i was of course trying to eat all healthy soo i got granola n yogurt n lmfao..i swear to u they mistaked my yogurt for sour cream..cuz omg it was horrid..n laura n steph n ash have all this like cinnamon roll n eggs n potatoes n bacon n toast n stuff...aye i was dying hahahha...but it was fun anyways...so we left there n we jus cruised around n then we went into UCSD n drove around there n stuff n then we went to coronado n lmao...there were these two guys in an eclipse next to us n we were bumping the music n so were they soo we were like competing n it was kinda in the middle of nowhere so we were like going 100 on this road..n then we'd pass em n then theyd pass us..but the windows were all rolled down n it was FREEZING and me n ash LMFAO..we were dying back there like it was a freaking tornado....omg our hair was EVERYWHERE n lol we couldnt seeee...it was great...but anyways so yeah we got on the freeway but first you have to go over this big ass bridge n there was this car with 2 black guys in it..n they LMAO..followed us alll the way to san diego...n haha we were like messing back with em n then they yelled out there number to us from the car n haha we never did call them but it was jus funny..but yeah we went to a gas station in the middle of nowhere haha..n lmao..we got jolly rancher lollipops and i hada pee so laura bought em n then she gave em to me when i got out..or mine..n so she went out but i was looking for something in my purse and so i all walked out n then i was like *laura u payed for these right?* and shes like yeah..but thennn theres thse guys outside right..n she decidedto announce *AMANDA STOLE LOLLIPOPS* *HERE SHE IS YOU NEED TO ARREST HER SHE LIVES ON blah blah blah IF U NEED  HER* *WE HAVE A FUGITIVE RIGHT HERE* lmao..it was soo funny..u might have to be there..but omg we were rolling...cuz the guys were lookingat us like.....ommmmmggggg theyre on crack...hahha...so anyways yeah we went tback to oceanside n we went to the beach n me n steph *froliKed* haha...while ash n laura talked to this guy that came up to us to intro himself..he was weird like..he was probably like 16 or so..but he smelled like weed SO bad and he was so high...n he was telling us stuff like..we really int care about haha...but yeah anyways we walked around n then we went back to school soo i could be there when my mom came cuz she was gunna gimme money n my camera soo..yeah got that n then we went to *hawaiin chicken* with ricahrd sebas raymond n barbie..but lmao..barbie n raymond jus kinda went off on their own..hha oh yeah theyre was a fine ass simoan guy in there DAMN..hahahha anyways...we went to jack in the box n then we went to mcdonalds so i could geta salad shaker! hahaa..we went back to richards n we ate n megan was there n we talked to her n yeah..we came back to my ouse n steph n laura fell asleep while me n ash did our hair..lmao its a really freakin project to try to straighten that girls hair..ayeee..hahaha it was funy...but we did it n then megan came...n we went to pick up nichole.. .n then we went to oceanside...for richards soccer game..n lovely mauricio was there...lovely..if u all member that story from last year..anyways it was TOO COLD so we went inside to the basketball and so i see natalie n i was like heyy and the one and only BRETT walks right out into the room thingie i was talking to her in and oh gosh..fineee..anyways..hahha...so we went in n i sat rightt behind brett omg..aww hahaha...but i was trying to see if david was there...:( so sad he wasnt..haha...but yeah we had fun...n ash steph were in heaven cuz they LOVE the guys here..they think there the inest thing ever hahaha..or at least the guys @ oceanside...but i cant say i disagree cuz i saw alota em too hahha..so yeah we hada drop nichole off after the game cuz her mom wanted her home but then me steph ash laura n megan went to san diego..by this time it was like 9:45...but yeah we went to extraordinary desserts..and omg its the cutest little place..it looks like a place that would be in new york...its all these really fancy desserts and OMG they looked so gooddddd...but grr i didnt eat it cuz yeah im fat so i couldnt but anyways they all did n it was realy fun tho...n then we went back to my house n we jus talked for awhile n lmao i had to teach ash how to make macaroni n cheese it was a lovely lesson...but yeah finally we went to sleep @ like 4...soo yeah this morning me n laura went to the ralphs n bagel shop n then we jus hada pack everything n richard came over..n we all took pictures even tho today was the worst day to take them cuz we all looked very LOVELY...but whatever soo yeah...they hada goo.. ..and i didnt want em too!!! we had sooo much funnn! i miss them like crazy.i love you guyss!!..goshhh...but theyre coming back in the summer...soo YAY...

and i dont know why...but for some reason...kristin decided that she wanted to be fucking rude n she shows up at richards house yesterday after we had been there chillin...n we were about to go back to my house to get ready for the game..but she shows up jus as we're leaving and strolls into the fucking house like shes the shit..doesnt say hi to my friends and then i say hi..and she jus ignores me and walks past me..oh hell no...dont even try to do that...you dont live there...u can knock...you dont own and have to watch every little thing richard does...NOT everyone wants richard jus because they talk to him or are around him..so fucking calm down..relax..n give the poor boy some space...and DONT be rude to me...or my friends...cuz ill bring u down so fucking fast...im part of his family...ur some girl...youve known him for 5 months...n then she has the nerve to call me from the game n be all chipper like...HEY amanda its kristen i jus wanted to tell u if ur comin its lik below degrees so bring alota jackets and dont wear sandals!...and i was just like uhhh...u know..i mean i didnt have anything against her...but once she calls me four times a day and then STOPS all calls after me n richard stop talking...n once ur rude to me....like u fucking own his house and have control over everything he doesn and who he hangs out with..thats not cool....n im not even guna deal with that shit...

ANYWAYSs....oh yeah..david still hasnt called...

rejection sucks...

day number1...after the *event*...still no call....hmmm...keep waiting.....

anyways so yeah todayy..i slept til 9:30! wowww....since ive been getting up at like 6 these past two days and working out ive been pretty tired sooo it was good to sleep in a little bit...so yeah i woke up n my mom told me that nichole called sooo i called her back n she wanted to know if i still wanted to go to the beach...so yeah i got ready n megan came over n then nichole picked us up n lmao..the car was already full...soo it was her mom and alec (her brother) in the front and then andrew (her other brother) and megan in the middle and me and nichole in the back..soo then we went to pick up alec's lil friend cuz they were guna go see a movie...soo megan got in the back with us and so it wasnt too crowded by then..but it gets worse..haha...we went to pick up james and then so alec n his lil friend were squished together in one seat n then we went to get heather...n so she sat in front and andrew came back to sit with us..it was lovely...it was funny tho...soo yeah we went to OPT so nichole and james could get their film cuz the point was going to the each to take pictures for their photography class..soo yeah then we went to the beach and we jus walked on the pier and took some pictures..very CANDID...pretty shots of course..hah..n we saw some dolphins! it was pretty...n yeah then we went to colimas n ate and then we walked to regal and jus chilled there for awhile n talked er whatever then we went back to the beach and walked realllyyy far down the beach n we sat n we made signs with rocks like...AMANDA <3's DAVID (aw..sigh...)...and NICHOLE <3's JOSH....n lmao megan drew her whole freakin song that she sings it goes...be optimistic doncha be a grumpy when the road gets bumpy just smile smile smile...lmao...n yeah took some more pictures n thenn yeah we left...it was fun though...we laughed alot....except james was really tired and like loopy...hahaha...but yeah it was cool....soo i jus got home n of course i hada clean my room and my bathroom...lemme tell u that was jus a joy..n yeah now im...im cracking myself up cuz i think its soo funny how my dog trys to eat my little sisters hair..LMFAO...

yay!!! ash n laura n stef are coming tomorrow! woot woot!

.....i hope he calls.......

...yay.....(more on my YAY later..haha)

so yeah todayy...i woke my butt up @ 6 o clock even without anthonys call this time! soooo u shud be proud of me my dear..and i did my workout even tho i wanted to NOT cuz i had such bad cramps..but its okay cuz i took some midol and they went away...haha since u all wanted to know that so bad...n yeah i hada go to church soo i did that n then i came home n my parents and my sisters went to the swap meet and oh hell no i wasnt guna go there..i dont know...i jus wasnt in the mood...soo.i stayed home n then nichole and megan came over n we chilled for awhile anddd thennnnnnn........~sigh~......

to explain my YAY....my aunt came to pick me nichole megan and my sister up to go to the one and oly WAL MART (haha) and sooo we had already made up the plan for what to do and stuff...and i was sooo nervous but anyways we got there and then my aunt wanted to stay in the car so we all got out and megan and emily went ahead and walked by the mcdonalds to see if david was there...and YES he was.......sooo i was shaking...and jus dorky nervous...but anyways me and nichole went up to buy *cookies*..soo lmao...we get up there and im trying to just act all cool like playing it off n actually i think i did a pretty good job haha...n he looked at me when we got in line and then when we got up there after the people who were before us he kinda looked and looked at nichole to ask what we wanted and lmao...nichole was all like *hey can we get some cookies...three for a dollar right!?* haha...and hes like..*yeahh but actually we dont have any cookies*....just my freakin luck..haha but anyways so we just looked at each other and then shes like do u want anything else and i was like no..and so she jus looked at him and was like *thanks anyways!* lmao...and then we left...so then...we walked away playing it cool...and we met megan and emily in the womens clothes outa his sight haha...and we had a paper with my name and my phone number on it..lmao...and so megan and emily walked outa the store..and i walked around and nichole was guna go do her thing for me and give him the paper...haha...so then i walked all the way around the cash registers and then i saw nichole talking to him and i was just like ahhhhhhh....and so i met them all out in the area where all the games are like in the front of the store and then soo nichole told me....that she went up to him and said *hey member me?* haha and he was like yeahh...and then she said* alryte wull u know that girl that was with me jus a sec ago?* and he was smiling and nodded his head like yeah...and then shes like *k wull shes my really good friend and she thinks ur really cute but shes realllyy shy so she jus wanted me to give you her number* and she told me he was smiling the whole time..and he stuck out his hand for her to give him my number..and so she gave it to him..and then she didnt know what to say lmao...and shes like *alryte thenn...* and jus smiled and left...awwww....omg im so nervous but soo happy that i finally did it..i wudnt have been able to do it without her tho...cuz megan and emil;y wuda never did that for me...i luv u nichole!!...so yeah....now its just a matter of me not getting too excited and waiting to see what happens next......gosh.....i hope he calls......so bad....

Life is hard,
I can't explain why.
No one knows how hard I try...When things are tough,
When life is bad,
I just pretend that I am not sad...I don't know how to let you know,
The pain I feel,
The hurt I don't show...Life is hard,
Not just for me,
Things that happen are meant to be...I can't be happy everyday,
But that doesn't mean
That things aren't ok.I don't crave attention,
I thrive by myself,
I am not always in need of your help.Life is hard,
But things will be alright.
Now I can sleep through the night.My life is on track,
The pieces are in place,
But I need my own time, I need my own space.I am different now,
I need you to see.
I am not anyone else, I am just me

happy valentines day :)