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| for memories sake.So I came across a compilation of cards and letters that dates back to 2001. I was ever younger at the time but I don't know how I managed to save everything. The box is very full and I might go out to CVS or something to buy a bigger new box to fill with more cards and letters I hope will come. I reread most of it and at the way bottom of the box I found an old diary I used to write in through 6th and 7th grade. Not everyday but pretty frequently. I repeatedly said "I don't like Nikita." EL OH EL. I wonder how she's doing today. I mean, I really regret some things. I'm not all that mature now but I wish I was nicer then. Just kidding, I still wish I was nicer. I don't know if I turn to this box because I'm nostalgic or if the box itself makes me nostalgic. Either way, I taped all the pages in the diary together so I can read it before going into the 9th grade. It never happened because I'm almost a junior now. After removing all the tape, I read the contents of it. I kinda wish I didn't because it's hard to believe I used to be so gay. Anyway, it was usually focused around 5 people and those "stupid tests" I had to take. I wish my tests were still as "stupid". Lol.
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| It's been another long while since I last updated.
It feels kind of good or something else I can't remember right now to come back while everyone left for myspace and then facebook.
It's the end of the year already and I am getting ready for my junior year. I'll be taking three AP classes next year. I thought I had it tough but I know kids that will be taking five. Super competitive indeed. Well, lots of things changed but at the same time I think the most important things remained the same. I am still short and struggling through daily routines. I feel like time stopped some three four years ago and all of the sudden I'm a junior. It feels so strange and I get goosebumps thinking about it. For a while I really felt like a frozen clock. I've been racing forward all this time but I don't know why I did so. I really tried to exceed or do the best and be the best at the stuff I do. But for what? Well, I've been watching a whole lot of dramas and listening to good music. I've also been reading and it gives me satisfaction when I curl up with a good book before bedtime. Even if I forget what I read the night before. I've also been sleeping a lot less. I don't know why. I thought by summer I'd be sleeping a lot before moving on to SAT's but I guess not. I guess this is it for now. I must now go watch the Hulk with Vivian who is probably waiting for me with her eyes bulging out =)
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| thursday. i think.Jesus Christ, its 3 AM and i woke up a couple of hours ago. it feels good to make time every now and then and make a public entry. (before i typed "public" i wrote "pubic lol.) since monday i have been sleeping at 3:30 AM waking up 6:00 AM, and i never took a nap in between. I feel like i'm ready for anything. lol. i've been having these nostalgic moments but i'm pretty okay now. here. home is here. People will forever be stupid. People who are the problem don't know that they're the problem. Thus, the problem will never get fixed. recognizing the problem doesn't do jack. ya know? on the brighter note, schools almost over. aps are over with anddddddd it would suck to get my ap score around my birthday. :( and a long weekend. yay.
i saw something amazing today. So, today (yesterday?) was student government candidate.. speech thing..? and this guy i recently came to know was a candidate for president. pretty interesting, the guy is nice and all that other good stuff. anyway. while all the other candidates were talking about how they'd change the school and stuff, he comes up and goes "the student body does nothing. twelve people can't change anything." then he went on about how this was "bullshit" and stuff. then he was kicked off the stage by the principle. sort of. not kicked off, more like dragged off. the first couple of times when this lady told him to get off the stage, he said "NO! LET THE PEOPLE TALK!" amazing, isn't it? who has the balls to do that in front of 1200 students and another couple hundred teachers and faculty? i sure don't. and everyone was talking about him afterwards, how he'd get suspended and stuff. what a load of crap! although i wouldn't have done it his way, or had the guts to stand up there and talk, he was still pretty darn cool.
lots of things have been happening around me, good and bad. And i've come to realize that some things just happen. not i or anyone else could prevent these things from happening. it makes me wonder why some things happen, especially stupid things like stupid boys. or people in general. over the past couple of months i have sworn to never like another boy ever again. for serious. not that i'd like girls =P but some things are just.. NOT NOW stuff. things. or whatever. right now, all i can think about is passing life. | | |
| Friday please come sooner.
April break please come soon.
I could really use a break.
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| this one is for rebecca. who thinks she is bring xanga back. oh baby i am with you.
LOL :)!
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