Wow, I haven't gone on here in quite awhile. I think I've just reached that point for me where all I'm doing is music. I've been working really hard in band on all of these solos I have 'cause there's only 3 clarinet players (including myself) so I pretty much have a solo in all of our songs at some point or another. And I've been bugging my parents to get me a bass guitar. I really want one, and whenever I try to save up for one I end up buying 100 CD's instead.


I don't know, I've actually been quite depressed lately. I don't even know why. But then other times I'm insanely happy and hyper and I'm LITERALLY bouncing. I don't know, I swear to God I've got a little bit of bipolar in me. I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. I'm pretty sure a few of my cousins have it too.

I got a threatening call from Elmo? Him saying pretty much that he wanted to rape, stab, and kill me. Charming, right? Yeah, that was great. And a little freaky. Really freaky, actually. So yeah, if I randomly am killed or something, chances are it was fucking a Seasame Street puppet on a killing rampage.

My ex boyfriend, the one who cheated me and sent me into that big whole 'emo' thing this summer? Yeah, he's being the biggest dick in the world to me right now.I mean, he pissed me off so much that when I was walking to my class after he kept talking to me and I just turned around and said "fuck you," and walked into my class. It's pretty rare I say those two words to someone. Actually, I've only said it... one other time I think. And it was to this racist-homophobic son-of-a-bitch who was picking on my best friend. And after I said that I went to class and ended up in the bathroom crying. I'm just so fed up with him. I wish he'd just get out of my life, but he won't.

Title=London Dungeon by the Misfits. I suggest you listen to that song, it's frigging genius. I listen to it whenever I'm in a pissy mood- it puts a smile on my face. :) ANYWAY...

I found out my friend's new boyfriend's last name is Madina, and I instantly started thinking of Madina Lake, which made me start singing Here I Stand. So I ran around singing "here I stand, all alone, tonight. And I wish I was strong enough to breathe without you, in my life. I wish I was anyone but me," for about two periods. =/ Yeah, I'm frigging lame.

Then I remembered that I didn't have coffee today and instantly felt like I was going to pass out. And it started getting really bad last period, and I was yawning and shit like every five seconds. And I was in BAND trying to play my God damn clarinet, so I was yawning and playing and yawning and playing. So I ran home and made myself a coffee. Kinda wish I'd had Starbucks though, even though it's fattening shit.

I was on the bus and we almost hit this kid who swerved on his bike right in front of us. It was... interesting.

I had a honors geometry test today... :( But the bonus was "who is Luke Skywalker's father? & if you know BOTH names for him, you get two points instead of one." And I sat up in my chair and was like "Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vadar, BIZZNICH!" lmao. I was so happy. I love George Lucas so much... almost as much as I love Tim Burton. But I've loved Tim Burton since I was like, five, and I've only loved George Lucas since I was ten or eleven, so Burton wins. Yeah...

finally being a total dork paid off! bonus points!

You know what kind of annoys me? When I LOVED Batman a few years ago everyone made fun of me and said I was so freaking lame. And now that the new one's out it's totally cool to love him. >.< I said that to my mom and she was like, "oh, don't worry hunny, you're still not cool." Thanks mom, thanks, I love you too.

I swear to god, it must've been band t-shirt day at my school or something. Almost everyone was wearing one! And there I was in my smosh tshirt, lmao. A bunch of people were like, "Smosh? What song do they sing?" I told them Boxman's Girlfriend. THAT SONG IS ON MY IPOD BECAUSE MY FRIEND IS SUCH A GEEK HE DOWNLOADED IT FOR ME!!! 10 points to you if you know what I'm talking about. If you don't, flick your forehead, your a dumb ass. Okay, maybe not but stilllllll.

PSYCH AND MONK ARE DONE FOR THE SEASON!!! WHAT EVER WILL I DO?!

Today was a bit better, and tomorrow my mom and I are going out together again.

I am 100 percent my mother's daughter:

• We have the same hair,
• eyes,
• view of the world,
• goofy laugh.

And today when we went out, we'd already left the house when we realized WE MATCHED. Black top, dark was AE jeans and black flats. *sigh* We're goths. Hardcore, fo sho. x) 

I love my mom so much. We argue so much, and she hates my absolute favorite band, but you know what? When I grow up, I might not like MCR anymore. I just might not. I hope that's not the case, but who knows? I mean, most people look back on their childhood and go "oh god, I was into that?" But I WILL still love my mom, and it's not worth ruining our relationship over a band. Seriously. I think even the My Chem members would agree to that.

I'm praying that she's fine and she really doesn't have cancer. I am LITERALLY praying. I NEVER pray. I believe in god, but I'm not very religious. But suddenly I feel the need to pray for her, because I don't know what I'm going to do if she has cancer. And I don't know what I'd do if I lost her to it.

My sister's diagnoses has become her latest excuse for everything. I mean, it explains why she is the way she is, but rather than saying, "well, it's not HER fault," I think my parents should be tackling it head-on and correcting her, rather than letting her get away with it. Because in the real world, which one day she will be a part of, they're not going to just let things slip because she has the social-end of Autism. They just AREN'T. And it bothers me that my parents do that.

And my grandma made me cry today, again. I love her to death, but she's killing me.

My other gram is the fucking coolest lady ever though. Her birthday's this month and she's going to be 84, but she still works full time at a hospital and is the toughest broad I've ever met. And she tells it like it is, she's SO FUCKING FUNNY. Damn, I love that woman so much, she's amazing <3 *hugs grammy.* She is my inspiration these days. She has the best stories too. And she remembers everything.


PS- I love McFly- they're the only reason I sat through Just My Luck, which was AWFUL, but they're such a good band, they made it. :) And they're so fucking funny, they crack me up. I wanna go see them... :( Too bad they're an English band... *tries to figure out when they'll be in the states*