Yeah.

School is kicking my ass.

Its a helluva good time.

Just want to crawl into a hole and cry.

Till Spring Break . .

Holla

Its Venting Time

Since no one reads this. .  Yeah.

I have been pretty good about eating healthy and now. thats totally down the drain. I feel like a mad woman. I drink 2-3 cups of coffee or some coca-cola type type of concoction and I feel horrible! And I had 2 Smirrinoff's (esp) in a row! Whoa! Whoa. Yeah, this is baby shiet but its major shiet to me.

Damn, the stresses of the last semester of nursing school. Its been one hellva ride. I can't believe its going to be over in 3 mths!! Omigolly!!

I know I will probably need waterproof mascara when I graduate!!

 I feel soo lonely!! Lonely. I used to be able to not see Ryan for 3 mths and be okay with that because I was focused and determined. Now that things are great, I just want to be with him more and more. And the sad part is I barely talk to him b/c of scheduling. I have this urge to just look around and fill this void of loneliness, but I know that if I did something remotely deceitful I could never forgive myself.

My nursing friends have their lovers visit them at least once this year. My lover, 2 times in 2 years. It hurts me soo much because I just want him near and he is soo busy.

Do you cry because you miss someone or do you cry because you're lonely and stressed and the one person to make it better is too busy to notice.

This semester I am rotating with a school nurse and children go to the nurse for the most mediocre illinesses. If they only knew what life was really all about.

In essence life just is.

Holla

Currently Listening Final Straw By Snow Patrol Chocolate see related

Uh Ah.

I just started studying for the Exist HESI and I feel stressed. I feel like I lost all this self confidence at the drop of a dime. Uh Ah. Everything is happening so fast and I feel at times so lost. I worry more about how life will be like in the next five months. I suppose this is normal for people like me.I will get it, and I will pass.

Wish me luck! Holla

Learning from your mistakes

I am the type of person who has to hit rock bottom before I learn from my mistakes. I am often hard headed, demanding, and my expectations are beyond the stars. There is always a triggering event where I say to myself, " I do not want to be that person anymore." When I've finally learned my lesson, it's too late. All my failed relationships were not because of them, it was me. I pushed too hard, too long, and did not give them my love.

Why is it so hard to be open to love? To give love? It's easy to receive, but hard to give. I have this fear, that if I open myself to love, I will my independence and myself. I told myself a few weeks ago that I do not want to lve in fear, yet fear is what I live everyday.

Love is a gamble, and I do not like to anti-up. I just need to be open to love and do the right thing, even it is the hardest thing for me to do.

We'll see . .

Holla

I love TIME.com's cartoons. I wonder how many fast food places are in the Eastern Hemisphere compared to our hemisphere.

Holla