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| I"m Sticking With Randomocity :)This past weekend has been by far the best time I've ever had. Spent Saturday with Pinky which was fun as hell. Then yesterday I got my 50" TV which is fuckin awesome. After that Erika came over and we went to the Billy Idol / Def Leppard concert which was really a lot better than I had expected. Thank you Erika for going with me. There's really no one I'd rather of gone with. But alas, now I'm bored as fuck and want to leave...My apologies for the pointless ranting but I think I'm going to go take a shower and go screw around for a couple hours. | | |
| RandomocityYea I made up a word...so sue me... Several things have been stuck in my head for the past couple weeks...and I don't know what to do about them. I mean I guess I've given up on most of them but there's one thing that can't escape...and it's driving me insane...but I've already given up on trying to talk to the person it's about so I guess it will just have to sit and rot with the rest of me. | | |
| Yea...Like You Care Enough To Listen To What I Have To Say...Nothing Left To Break (by Brian Serra) I went from being your hero in white
to just another cheap thrill
you exposed your kryptonite
and moved in for the kill
I saw through every empty vow you'd make
knew of your so-called great escape
think I'm broken in two
well the joke's still on you
I've got nothing, nothing left to break
little miss perfectly flawed in the head
wore a sash of the truth
twisting and turning all common sense is
none the stranger with you
how can you live with all your crowned mistakes
suddenly poised on your parade
from a lost little lamb
to the queen of the damned
you've got nothing, nothing left to break
how's this boy supposed to fly
when you're stepping on his cape
is it that funny to you that I cared
so much I bit my tongue
everytime you stopped and you stared at me
and said nothing was wrong
I always knew that you'd leave town someday
it was written all over your face
think I'm broken in two
well the joke's still on you
you left nothing... | | |
| My Recent Inner Thoughts"What really matters in life? Why do we live/act the way we do? Is it because of the way we were brought up, or is it because of our surroundings? What causes people to change moods so easily? Is it a memory, a thought, a sight, or all of the above? Most of all why do I act the way I do? It can't be because I'm afraid to get hurt. Everything I do hurts me in some way or another. I don't think that I've honestly done one thing that hasn't hurt me in the long run. Everything I do comes back to kick my ass in someway or another. Why do I keep doing it? Why do people hang around me? I've hurt so many people, and yet they keep coming back. I really hate hurting people. But it seems like it's the only thing I ever do. Everything I say, everything I do, all of my actions. It really is ridiculous why they don't leave like so many before them. To be honest I'm devastated/exuberant when they walk out of my life without looking back. It kills me inside but I know they'll be happier without me. I know I would be. I'm honestly amazed when someone say they want to see me. Because I know that they could find someone so much better like so many people before them. Am I really this self-centered? I never considered myself to be so self absorbed until recently. Why do I let myself wallow in my own self-pity so much? Have I always been this way and just never noticed it? I mean I try to be as selfless as possible, but I always end up whining about how shitty my life is, when really it isn't that bad. I don't understand how I got to be this way. I just wish I knew how to fix it." | | |
| RevelationSomething ocurred to me today...I realize I was wrong...People aren't abandoning me...I'm abandoning them...I'm not sure on the reason why...And frankly...I still don't care...I mean it is killing me but it's a pain that I'm already used to... Thank you Metallica Fade To Black Life it seems, will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else
I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free
Things are not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this can't be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel
Emptiness is filing me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now He's gone
No one but me can save myself, but it's too late
Now I can't think, think why I should even try
Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death Greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye | | |
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