hey guys sry its been soo long since i last wrote but i just havn't  been online much. so basically the most that has happened is that me and pierce continue to grow closer and closer and i really love talking to pierce. he is my favorite person in the whole wide world! ok something really random this guy just started talking to me online. he lives in the next county over and i guess that he was just searching for people in this area and he just started talking to me he's 20 sooo idk but we shall see. ill keep ya posted. ttyl!

life hateing continues. been crying for two days over a stupid guy. i am stronger than this. i know it. i just can't convince my heart what my mind knows i should do. there is absolutely no reason why a guy should get you this upset. absolutely none! this shows such a weakness in myself. it's pathetic. i hate myself even more for not being able to control my feelings. I AM SOOO MAD!!!! im frustrated at myself, my parents, my brother, my school, my town, my friends, basically my life! mostly i hate myself because i will not let myself just enjoy my life. i wont let people get to close they just hurt and disappoint. humans love disaster and destruction why let them get close to you thats all that will happen in the end. im actually not mad at anyone but myself. and not really mad even. disappointed. my whole life is a disappointment. i cannot think of one thing that i have done that i am not disappointed in. and that's pathetic and a perfect waste of existance. 

hey guys. not doing much just sitting in class doing absolutely nothing whatsoever. today was senior movie day and personally i can think of nothing worse right now than sitting in a movie theatre filled with the same freaking people that i dont like and am forced to spend all freaking day with for oh lets just say 7 years.  absolutely rediculous why anyone would ever want to do that is just beyond me! any thoughts on the subject?  last night i spent the night at Amber's house. i think that we have spent just a little to much time together.  im at the point right now where i need a little alone time.  everything that everyone's doing is getting on my nerves sooo bad!!! do yall ever feel that way? i dont know why and some of yall might just say its because of being a girl and all the hormones and stuff but i just feel like crying right now. i hate to cry though!!! but if someone says one more mean thing i think that im going to cry. i cant stand it! i hate my life at the moment. i just want to be alone.

Hey guys. I'm getting sooo bad about this! The only thing that's keeping me updating my site is the fact that Carmina updates like every day! Well it's good it helps me.  We didn't have school on Mon. or Tue. due to trying to eliminate some of the gas problems. Oh, well whatever! So I went and saw Jonathan and his roommate and his dorm room on Mon. It was pretty fun.  I was happy that it wasn't akward seeing as how we kinda had a huge argument before I left for Europe. Oh well....not much else has happened. Tomorrow is like the biggest football game of the season.  We are going to be completely sold out and I can almost guarantee that someone will fight someone.  Maybe this is a good chance to try and hook up with Tyler!!! Well....wish me luck! I'll let ya know how it goes!