| | i've met a great guy. :] 
i'm actually happy for a change! 
When we first met, I didn't want to get involved with anyone. I didn't have the time or energy & I wasn't sure that I was ready for it. But you were so good to me & I got swept up in that & little by little I found myself falling in love with you. 
Darling, I would hate to ruin this because
we both know that it's almost flawless.
But those beautiful nights don't last forever
& a beautiful world will never exist. 
I'm afraid of being alone forever,
dreams not being fulfilled,
having something tragic happen,
losing someone close to me,
or just losing the sense of being alive altogether.
 Self-injury is a sign of distress, not madness.
We should be congratulated on
having found a way of surviving.
 And then he hits you with that one last promise & you want it to be the truth so bad. You're looking in his eyes & you're crying, saying, "He's not lying." But you know he is.  It's been exactly a year. I mean it when I say you brought the happiest days of my life. So much has happened since then & we've both moved on, but still; I'll remember to love because you taught me how.  I realize that overall, you weren't really worth it. There were moments with you that made me really happy, but majority of the time you just shut me out. That's why this summer I'll try to get over you. We might've had something really great, but I guess we'll never know. I'll never forget the good times with you, but I'll also never forget how you hurt me more than any other boy.  The more you show your feelings,
the more people can find ways to hurt you.
 It's funny how nowadays, us kids only think about looking cool, being popular & getting money. We're all smoking, drinking, popping, jacking, smashing, cussing, skipping, fucking. What's that going to benefit us with? All it's going to do is affect your future, & we all know that, but we still don't care. We're all trying look cool, dying our hair, wearing makeup, dressing like a slut, going out late, losing parent's respect. And after, we all say, "Fuck family" or whatever, but without family, you have nothing. Who brought you up? Who put a roof over your head? Who gave you food to live on? And how do we repay them? We go out, we ask for money, we don't bring home awards but the police. I have to admit, it's fun, but realistically it's a waste of time. We all have to wake up. The most important thing right now is not money or the opposite sex; it's school. You all can hate on this & it's debateable, but it's true.  The way I feel for you, I can't describe.
It's almost too intense to verbalize;
essentially you're all I'm living for.  You got a dream, you gotta protect it.
People can't do something themselves,
they wanna tell you that you can't do it.
You want something? Go get it.
 Life without love is like
a tree without any leaves.  Someone asked me where I thought
heaven was, so I pointed to you
& said, "In his arms." <3
 After awhile you start to get sick of a lot of things. You start to close yourself off from the world; you start to shun everyone out of your life. You just want to be left alone & you start to believe that the world really does hate you & no one really cares about you, & the only person you can really depend on is yourself. But really, you need to face the fact that this is reality. You can't automatically change what you want life to be. Life's just life. It just happens. Whatever happens, tends to happen for a reason. You can't exactly make life into something really happy, like it's some kind of switch, you know? There's no switch, no On or Off button. You just gotta be a good girl & suck it up. If friends backstab you, it's okay, you'll meet new & better people, share new things, & probably gain some & lose some, as they say. In life, of course you're going to get your heart broken more then once, but it's okay because in each relationship you've had you've learned different things from your partner. They either taught you, helped you, or made you into a better person. Each relationship you're in, you can fix the mistakes you had in the past relationships; you get a second chance. You'll meet many people who will inspire you, inspire you to be a better person, but in the end, it all adds up. Are you willing to put all the tears, all the pain, all the hurt aside, & live life? Make life as something really special, make it like it was your last day, never worry about tomorrow; worry about today. Never let words get to you; words are cheap. Actions speak a lot louder, you hear me? 
So she tosses her hair & fakes
yet another movie star smile,
because where she comes from,
every day is a photo shoot.
 
She took a deep breath, willing her voice not to break, "I know you're holding something back, & if you can't, or don't, want to talk about it, there's not much I can do. But whatever it is, it's driving you away."  You can hide a lot about yourself.
You can hide embarrassment,
you can hide anger,
& you can even hide shame,
but you can't hide a smile (= 
|
