it's been a while..

i really won't be writing much - even though i say that almost everytime i DO -  but it's because i CAN'T.  

    i ' m   n o t   s u p p o s e d   t o   e v e n   b e   o n .


as you may or may not have guessed, i'm grounded. only for tonight, but i feel like i'm in 9th grade again. i won't get into it becuase..well it's none of your business, but i will tell you that today was a good day...UNTIL i got home & dad wanted to "talk". of course that's never a good thing to hear. i'm only really upset about it because i was trying SO hard not to blow up at him because i had plans tonight and didn't want to get grounded & yet he always finds a way to push my buttons - the absolutely worst buttons! i did a lot of crying. ha. he's one of the only people in this world that can cause me to cry like i did. personally, I HATE IT, because i feel that tears are a sign of weakness to him & i can NOT allow myself to look weak, not when he's around.. anyways, after all of the biting my tongue & what not, i ended up being grounded for simply telling my mom to 'shut up, i don't wanna talk' - while IN TEARS & running into my room, might i add. she understood, but of course dad, the manly man, 'knower of all', HAS to interfere -  w h i c h   h e   d i d ..and grounded me..

leading to an entirely different scene of this story that i will most definitely be leaving out; it wasn't a good one. .

 

 - s i g h -  i don't even know what to say right now. i'm so sick of life, mine especially, at the moment & it's not a good feeling.

 

it  a m a z e s  me how i can go from...

  s o  h a p p y  to  d e p r e s s e d   a s   e v e r  

       & all because of  H I M .



            it got old reaaaaaal quick.

i'm going toLOVEhim being gone for 2 weeks!

     'oh lawd' - as craver would say.

 

    - down to the main points:

my myspace is a fag & won't let me sign in - no matter what - so i won't be on that for a while. 
  tom better get his butt in gear.


i know this update isn't nearly as pretty as the last one, but i haven't the time to sacrifice for it..or the effort.

i'm going to go run some errands with mom. it'll get me somewhere other than my room.

*garner, court, and lou-

sorry about it all. we'll have to do it again when dad leaves.    i   l   o   v   e   y   o   u   a   l  l  <3

 

  / / e  d  i  t / /  

 

okay then..

it's thursday now. last night i pretty much got over  myself & realized that my plans weren't going to happen..it wasn't any fun - but i guess i got something productive done...though i can't remember what it would have been. haha. now, i know not to say shut up; no matter what. haha. so...^ my entry up there is..pretty depressing. i really was upset as crap though. just to let you all know - those of you lame enough to still go to xangas , that is - that i'm okay now. my daddy's leaving tomorrow and won't be back until sometime in february. i hate that i'm SO happy about it, but can ya' blame me? if you know my dad..you can't. haha. okay, i'm going to be having a lot of fun. but i've got [homework] now -

 - that reminds me of me. haha.
 a m   i   w r o n g ?  

 
i love my best friend more than anything.
*kay- you saved me. i'd be lost without you.
thank you, for everything.
bffaeaeaeae,  c h e e s e b u t t <3

 

again: MYSPACE won't let me sign in. if i don't respond to you - that's why.

 i   l o v e   y o u   <3
         - well, those of you that i love.