!!!I AM GOING TO CALIFORNIA!!!

ive got a lot going on once i get there... so much to do, so much to plan... places to go, whenever and however i can... go in and out of the house or perhaps never come back... haha, i'll be in big ass trouble if that happened! but it depends where i am going to be, if at a friends to sleep over why NOT! if i'm living with my aunt and her family, maybe NOT... but gosh, i am so fuckin' HAPPY... california is the drug to my happiness... NO DOUBT... i can't wait to do something for every minute when i am there... MAYBE when i am there, it will feel like a DREAM, perhaps a real dream that wasn't expected... i have suffered 4 years missing everyone there... and this time is my only time to have fun and take advantage of that feeling... ahh! i am so HAPPY! theres too much on my mind, wayyyy too much... yey!!!

xoxo

i can't wait to go to CALIFORNIA !!!

my dad better buy the ticket.... my mom better say yes.... i better get allowance for going.... and i hope to have such a wonderful Christmas while i am out of town....

my god me and my best friend alyssa were hella crazy after school today, as usual... its like first it started off with this letter we wrote... then it came spilling out all at once after school! first we were talking about this guy named after another guy with the same name... i shrugged alyssa on the arm when i saw him, then fuck i said he was behind us, and she turned around and looked straight at him! my god! we were hella loud though, its like he would've suspected something! ahhh, eekkkk... but hey who cares! anyways, then i got her back at the halls when she was talking about this other guy, i pushed her on the arm saying "thats him, thats him" pretty loud... with his girl too... my god! hahaha, don't worry he did not notice when i looked back and he was still paying attention to his girlfriend! but hey who cares... then i just couldn't stop laughing and then we were really talking about someone in particular... he is a senoir and like she's all "look who's in front of us walking?" it was him, our crush... then we still kept laughing because we didn't notice he was right in front of us... but yeah, he cute... hahaha... hmmm, sadies is coming up, who should i ask? i don't know, really i don't know... daym! still got a while to think of who or if i just go or not go... i pretty much would say, guys in clark right now are pretty much arent my type... but yeah, whatever... they cute... that may be it though... hMm, yeah... well i can't wait until the weekend, i am maybe going to fright dome with jay and them... Wo0o scarYyy... BoO! lolz...

Cold Nights (poem i made today)

I shiver
feeling the chills down my spine
caresses me
until i feel numb

covering myself with fever
i just want someone to wrap me around them
until the heat vibes through my lungs

a gentle voice whispers
as the cold fog is seen
low and narrow
through my ears

out i feel cold
inside thoughts felt soothing with heat
deep
like fire being lit in a candle

skies so blue
so clear
but clouds
filled the rain
pouring my tears

clenching my arms
in the cold
im alone with
no one to hold
fogged in fear
surrounding me
when i feel the chills down my spine

when will you ever come near?
its like the sound of the ocean
when i yell
echoes back
can you hear me calling?

thousand rainfalls
waiting for one night
im shiverring
come here, hold me, and catch my tears

it was my best friends birthday today, cool huh? of course, awesome! yup! we talked for a little bit online too bad i wasn't home when she called... it's because i was shopping at wal-mart... hahaha, i needed my needs... ahhh, yess, 2morrow i'm not gonna be in school for half the day! i need a break... hMm, sounds good! 2day had some good weather though... it was raining and i felt the lil breeze of wind and rain slightly pouring, it felt good, cuhz it wasn't that cold out there... and i dearly missed the rain... like how it was in california... heh, i want a new umbrella, a hot pink one with polka dots... now thats hot... my teacher in keyboarding was hellah funny today, he was all like "come here"... and i came and gave him this funny face going towards and he said "it seems like every guy tries to sit next to you, you should be proud" and i just started laughing as i went back to my seat... lolz... ahh, omg! during lunch gyeah, me and Jay-al, first we were walking around just buying food, then later we went to library to see dreamer... then she came hella depressed, im like my goodness, stop being so emo... when people are like that, i tend to like try to be serious on their situation but then i start doing hella dumb things because i didn't want to be on the verge on being so emotional like her... dang it hella kills my day though, as in seriously... i mean at least smile, and like don't take your drama like i'm that someone who did that drama to you.... but yeah, i understand, oh well, she'll get better, hopefully... but yeah omg! when me and Jay-al were waiting to get his id card, i went with him and we saw it together, we were like omg! my necklace! its off to the side! he was all mayn they didnt even tell me! hahaha we started hella laughing cuhs mine was that same way, neither did they tell me! and in my history class, i wonder if this guys eye is all up on me.. hahaha, he cute though, i  wish i could like meet him somehow... but, daym, me and my shy fuckin ass... i looked at him in lunch today sort of going towards him, and he had that look like he was curious to getting to know me... or is that just me? lolz... wells, later today at night me and heidi talked... her birthday thats why... we talked about numerous things... hers the convo...

 layde lushuzness [10:43 PM]:  roseanne!
 layde lushuzness [10:44 PM]:  thanks for the bday card =}
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:44 PM]:  hi heidi!!!
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:44 PM]:  oh youre welcome
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:44 PM]:  =D
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:44 PM]:  so how was 2day?
 layde lushuzness [10:45 PM]:  it was cool..
 layde lushuzness [10:45 PM]:  did oyu get my msg on your answering machine?
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:45 PM]:  got nething? or anything exciting?
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:45 PM]:  hahaha, yeahhh
 layde lushuzness [10:45 PM]:  hehe
 layde lushuzness [10:46 PM]:  its on my profile
 layde lushuzness [10:46 PM]:  too lazy to write all the stuff
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:46 PM]:  hMm wut profile?
 layde lushuzness [10:46 PM]:  AIM
 layde lushuzness [10:46 PM]:  ohh, you cant see it huh?
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:47 PM]:  ahh i dont know
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:47 PM]:  i guess not
 layde lushuzness [10:48 PM]:  well, tram got me a cake & flowers, dan got me 6 litle carebears & he gave me another carebear from anna, & anna got me lingerie & a crown & wand
 layde lushuzness [10:48 PM]:  & she teated me out to dinner
 layde lushuzness [10:49 PM]:  it was sweet ;cause she got me a crown & wand 'cause she said i was her "princess"
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:49 PM]:  aww, thats awesome
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:49 PM]:  swEeT...
 layde lushuzness [10:49 PM]:  & my fam had a little dinner for me & i dint even know it
 layde lushuzness [10:49 PM]:  i htought they were jess having dinner to hang out or whatevr
 layde lushuzness [10:50 PM]:  the onyl bad thing was that my work dint have my paycheck for me AGAIN
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:50 PM]:  that nice... you're 16 now...
 layde lushuzness [10:50 PM]:  yea i know =}
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:50 PM]:  aww why
 layde lushuzness [10:50 PM]:  & you will be too =}
 layde lushuzness [10:50 PM]:  i odnt even know
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:51 PM]:  hehehe in less than a month i will
 layde lushuzness [10:51 PM]:  yep =}
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:51 PM]:  omg heidi! i cant stop eating its crazy, i eat a lot now... 
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:51 PM]:  its like yikes... 
 layde lushuzness [10:52 PM]:  its not bad is it?
 layde lushuzness [10:52 PM]:  unless youre overweight or something
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:52 PM]:  yeah it is, i eat too much mayn
 layde lushuzness [10:52 PM]:  nothings wrong w/ that =}
 layde lushuzness [10:52 PM]:  i eat a lot too
 layde lushuzness [10:52 PM]:  well, i used to
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:52 PM]:  hahaha, im getting hella flabby dude
 layde lushuzness [10:52 PM]:  its all good, jess dont get chunky
 layde lushuzness [10:53 PM]:  thats when you gotta kick back w/ the food
 layde lushuzness [10:53 PM]:  take advantage of your motabolism while you have it
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:53 PM]:  no mMm k, my stomach is hella flabby, then the rest are like BONEs
 layde lushuzness [10:53 PM]:  werid, ;cause my tummy is kinda flat & everything else is flabby
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:53 PM]:  thats me... that how i get FAT in the same area, the STOMACH
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:54 PM]:  dang we OPOSSITE
 layde lushuzness [10:54 PM]:  i knoww
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:54 PM]:  opposite*
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:54 PM]:  i think i shud stop eating bread, bread makes u fat
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:55 PM]:  and less milk
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:55 PM]:  hahaha im all telling u this
 layde lushuzness [10:55 PM]:  heh, its all good
 layde lushuzness [10:55 PM]:  i care
 layde lushuzness [10:55 PM]:  if you stop eating, dont stop eating too much
 layde lushuzness [10:56 PM]:  'cause i stopped eating kinda & my stomach ate itself
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:56 PM]:  oh i know that, cuhz i'll die and wont satisfy my own hunger
 layde lushuzness [10:56 PM]:  so when i eat, i eat a little
 layde lushuzness [10:56 PM]:  so i have to force myself to eat but yet i feel helluh sick eating
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:56 PM]:  u eat a little?
 layde lushuzness [10:57 PM]:  yea, like after 1 little plate i feel full
 layde lushuzness [10:57 PM]:  & i feel sick if i eat more
 layde lushuzness [10:57 PM]:  but i force myself to
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:57 PM]:  o0o... dont force ureself mayn, u ever feel like throwing up?
 layde lushuzness [10:58 PM]:  yeaa..
 layde lushuzness [10:58 PM]:  i have to though
 layde lushuzness [10:58 PM]:  'cause if i dont, ill get anereksik
 layde lushuzness [10:58 PM]:  or how ever you spell it
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:58 PM]:  ahh well just eat what u can and from there STOP
 layde lushuzness [10:59 PM]:  yea, but i eat when i have nothing to do too so its ok
 layde lushuzness [10:59 PM]:  heh
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [10:59 PM]:  ahh its weird though like few months ago i would eat and get full fast then like recently i guess ive been hella tired and just keep eating...
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:00 PM]:  its funny though because people be like daym u eat a lot
 layde lushuzness [11:00 PM]:  heh
 layde lushuzness [11:00 PM]:  nothings wrong w/ eating
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:00 PM]:  yeh huh, what if u cant stop dude?
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:00 PM]:  isnt that bad?
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:01 PM]:  hahaha i would think so
 layde lushuzness [11:01 PM]:  thats if you get helluh fat
 layde lushuzness [11:01 PM]:  like start getting rolls
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:01 PM]:  ahh ok if i do get fat then...
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:01 PM]:  icic
 layde lushuzness [11:02 PM]:  you need the meat though, its winter
 layde lushuzness [11:02 PM]:  hehe
 layde lushuzness [11:03 PM]:  & when it starts getitng hot, work out
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:03 PM]:  hahha meat... mayn i think i need to eat more Veggies
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:03 PM]:  i dont like working out in hot weather i feel all ughhh
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:03 PM]:  i drink vitamins as though for now...
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:03 PM]:  VITAMIN E
 layde lushuzness [11:04 PM]:  are you sure its not the other E?
 layde lushuzness [11:04 PM]:  haha, kidding
 layde lushuzness [11:04 PM]:  thats good
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:04 PM]:  hahahaha U.... bad heidi, bad !
 layde lushuzness [11:04 PM]:  i was kidding!
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:04 PM]:  no im kidding too
 layde lushuzness [11:05 PM]:  i quit, for now..
 layde lushuzness [11:05 PM]:  school 1st
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:05 PM]:  thats good... dont take too much that u may not remember me ok...
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:05 PM]:  =D
 layde lushuzness [11:05 PM]:  ehe i know.. im tring to get my cells back right now to make up for the ones i lost in the summer =}
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:06 PM]:  that means what? sleep more? eat more?
 layde lushuzness [11:06 PM]:  jess, stop doing stuff & think a lot
 layde lushuzness [11:06 PM]:  like read
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:07 PM]:  oh i see
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:08 PM]:  i never read...
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:08 PM]:  but im reading books now by anne rice
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:08 PM]:  barely started
 layde lushuzness [11:09 PM]:  fro school?
 layde lushuzness [11:09 PM]:  for*
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:09 PM]:  nahh just for myself
 layde lushuzness [11:09 PM]:  thats cool
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:09 PM]:  if im bored or like wutever sumtimes when i get bored in class
 layde lushuzness [11:09 PM]:  deng, i never read on my free time
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:10 PM]:  or lets just say if i dont want to do work in class i read... hahaha well just once in a while...
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:10 PM]:  lolz... u shud start reading
 layde lushuzness [11:11 PM]:  heh, oohh bad..
 layde lushuzness [11:11 PM]:  i dont have much time
 layde lushuzness [11:11 PM]:  ever since i started work i havent had much time
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:11 PM]:  im about to read stuff on vampires 
 layde lushuzness [11:11 PM]:  'cause on the weekdays i gho to school & do my hw & on the weekdnds i work, & after i work i have ot do hw
 layde lushuzness [11:11 PM]:  thats cool
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:11 PM]:  icic... i know huh, u gott school, work... mayn thats hard
 layde lushuzness [11:12 PM]:  well yea, i have to start doing my hw right now, ill talk toy ou layter ok?
 layde lushuzness [11:12 PM]:  thanks for the bday card again =}
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:12 PM]:  yup... i think id want to work, but im hella irresponsible, its like if im hella tired, i wont care but think of sleeping than doing my homework
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:13 PM]:  aiight...
 layde lushuzness [11:13 PM]:  yea, im starting to slack off in school too
 layde lushuzness [11:13 PM]:  well g'nite & take care
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:13 PM]:  ure welcome, take carez.. goodnite sweet dreamz
 layde lushuzness [11:13 PM]:  u 2
 layde lushuzness [11:13 PM]:  byee!
 XPnAyThUgLuViNx [11:13 PM]:  bye

well thats it for today, im sleepy... and still got things to do, so much love, peace out!

xoxo, rose

ahh...well, i went out a lil while last night, just with my brother and his phrendz... yup, they're really tite... yup, cuhz we went to visit his friends little sister, may, it was her birthday... haha, she got spoiled off of us... a bunch of pokemon stuffs, cards + games...  rite when we walked in gave her her stuff and then she started playing with her gameboy... spoiled aint she, she's such a little girl... really cute, and she could even speak hella good tagalog, i'm like "awww, how cute"... hehe... but yeah, we ate over there, i stayed there went online again, listen to music n all, and then for the longest time, i heard all of them laughing (my brother, carlos, gilbert & chris...) i was like what the hell is going on here? and what is so funny you know? then i walked out of the room, my brother won't stop laughing, what a weirdo... then everyone else would laugh along... it went on for like 10-15 minutes and like when we hads to go, & got into the car... it still was like that... then my brothers friends had skrillaz, they're so fuckin tite, they let me take several hits... hah, and they were like "turuon mo nga mag yosi yon kuya mo" , muhaha, that was funny... then carlos was like suck on a straw... still that laughing still was going on, i even called my brother a clown and everyone said in the car, maybe even the kids would be scared of you (bro) if you were a clown... cuhz his laugh so squeekily giggly...that shit was funny... then yeah, came home aroundz 1 am...  so yeEeeeeA...

today is like a full of freakin homeworks! i barely read up to page 65 in my book, daymmitt still got a long way to go and its almost fuckin due! ahhhhh! help me sumone! welps, a lot has been going on, i'm in fact ain't going to skool tuesday & wednesday! yey! going to AZ that is why... but yeahh, i hope i won't get sunburn = \... i can't wait to go to that concert on Friday... that is like wo0t* wo0t* i'm gonna hella yell and loose my voice like last time at the morp dance, yelled to punk music and after the dance, i lost my voice hahaha.... me s0 crazy! also, homecoming is on the saturday night, to tell you the truth i aint going, unless someone asks me to go...but for now, i don't even feel like going, i'd rather go to junoir prom & other dances... yepz! so yeah, i guess i'd have to go, i have a lot of homework to do... esp. reading... so on, to next time! peace mutherfuckers! hah, j/p geez...