xxxBAM_BAMxxx's Xanga

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Wed, 20 Oct 2004 23:10:30 GMT

New xanga everyone give me time to fix it though
this xanga is dead so no more of this crap. lol.
well the new site is: My_HEART_Stops_Here

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Tue, 19 Oct 2004 00:02:43 GMT

today was really coolchilled with angel and danny

bought some jeans [girl jeans]
and bought a blazer. got a cake.
got another i-pod.
that is it for my birthday!.
happy b-day to me.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Sun, 17 Oct 2004 11:55:52 GMT

YESTERDAY WAS COOOOOOOLLLL!

Friday, October 15, 2004

Fri, 15 Oct 2004 22:34:29 GMT

Friday, October 15, 2004

Fri, 15 Oct 2004 22:34:09 GMT

You have become a part of this nightmare....

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Wed, 13 Oct 2004 23:17:39 GMT

press against me slowly ...
lean in and kiss me... i will give a smirk...
[soft innocent smirk].
one hand on your waist.
your hand trailing down my neck.
my other hand on your face...
Your other hand giving me the up and down.
I will gently stroke softly....
[oh so soft].
whisper in your ear....
[whisper]......
will you answer me back?.
[no answer].

[Can we switch sides?.]

Humming in the background soft silent humming........
humming.....

Violin hits a clever note....
color fades to black.....

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 18:50:45 GMT

[ Have you given up on me?]

I never wasted so much time like I did on you, too bad to you none of it really mattered. You have laid me down to sleep tonight. I will never see you so bright….
so tuck me in….
so tuck me in….
make sure you tuck me in….
wasted moments choking on you since. All these emotions can not let me be
[myself]. Why do you kill me so?, Why ?. Why do you let me burn?. Just let me die. Please just let this die, Please just for me let it all just die.
So just let me slip away from all this hurt. Just let me get away from all this hurt. I can not hold in all this pain this sorrow I have held within me.
I can not wither away as fast as you want me to. I can not fade into a blur the way you want me to. [I just cant.]. No more forgiveness coming my way.
No more love coming from you. Too much pain coming my way. I tear you away from me. Maybe that will help me be……the way I was. I cant do this anymore. I swear I will remember your face anywhere I am to see you. I swear I will recognize your face through the crowd.
Through thick and thin.
Yes, I said through thick and thin.
I promise through thick and thin.
No more will I feed this pain, no more. No more can I feed it no more. My sorrow keeps running no room left for more. No more tears for me to bawl. I can’t let these tears through my eyes. I never thought I would fall so deep. I never thought it will be this deep. I just never thought. [thought].
just let this be. Just let it be. Just let me free. Let me breathe…..
No more room for air. All I have is you in here. All I have is you.
I just can’t be a memory. Help me be free!. Guide me through this please.
Guide me through it all. Help me through this crowd.
Oh god just set me free. I will hold your hand with so much trust.
Just let me whither away!.
Wither away!
Wither away!
So tuck me in ‘cause this will be the last time you shall see me. I will no longer let me cry. I will no longer try. This is it. No more will I forgive!.
Only god can help me out of this!. Only you!. It is only you….
Just save me now. Please just save me now. Oh god please save me now.
I will not blame you I will only blame myself. I ‘ll only love you.
Just be my savior. Savior…..
Be this to me. set me free....
=FIN=

Friday, October 08, 2004

Fri, 08 Oct 2004 21:21:42 GMT

[When you tried to build me up with the wrong words, all it did was kill me. And when you said you trust in all that I feel, I never quite believed you. And when you tried to help me out by telling me how we should be, I disagreed.]

Love is timeless and true.
too bad love does not always stay around.
Love is a bond a reason for connection.
too bad love does not always stay around.
Love is a reason for life.
too bad love does not always stay around.

You promised too much just to let me pound myself out everyday, from the day you left me.
You built me up with all them words,
I always believed you.
But there is nothing to believe anymore.
You ended it, you chose to stop our connection, you chose to break our bond, you chose all of this.
But i still can not let you go.
Not without a fight, i promise i will hold your hand through thick and thin.
I promise that to you.
You can be a million miles away i will still love you.
i do not care what tries to come between us even if it is you. You'll always be a part of me, You'll always be everything. [I.love.you]
It can be like this everyday i promise i will work on it.
i will work on it even if it takes everything else away from me. 'cause you mean that much to me.
But keep on turning your nose the other way.
Roll your eyes if you see me walking by you.
Make fun of me when you see me alone sitting on that park bench. Tell all your friends "that is the guy".
I will only give you a smirk, because you gave me that little bit of attention, even if it was to make fun.
It can be that little bit of attention that will make me die happy. With perfect smile on my face.
'Cause you mean that much to me.....
Too bad all i am to you is a memory of a memory.
But at least i am something even if it is something forgotten right?. [I.love.you].
And you showed me your final farewell that night.
You said we will go far, all just words to build me up?.
But you chose all of this, you ended this all.
[I.still.love.you].
Tell me what to be i will be that for you.
[I.love.you.that.much].
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::f:i:n:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Wed, 06 Oct 2004 12:05:27 GMT

Tired of all them lies,
and your fake cries.
You should have been another person i walked by. :::::::::::::::::::::N:O::::M:O:R:E::::W:I:L:L::::I::::F:O:R:G:I:V:E:::::::::::::::

I won't nurture and feed this bitterness:
I won't nurture and feed this hate:
I won't nurture and feed this hostility:
I won't nurture and feed this pain:
[I know you're full of fear, i hope i'm never like you.]
I know you're hurting.
I know you're reaching out,
And for that i love you.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::F:I:L:L::::I:N::::T:H:I:S::::V:O:I:D::::::::::::::::::
They couldn't have told me that it would be like this.....

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::A:L:I:C:E::::<3::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I want to live again!.

Monday, October 04, 2004

Mon, 04 Oct 2004 22:09:04 GMT

When you tried to build me up with the wrong words, all it did was kill me. And when you said you trust in all that I feel, I never quite believed you. And when you tried to help me out by telling me how we should be, I disagreed. So hold me up, and you should see you're not supposed to be my enemy. I know you're side. I understand, but you can let me feel it's safe in my hands.
You're every word is full of doubt. I've never had a way 'til now to let it out. If this is how it's gotta' be, it will never be easy.
You can make this very easy if you can show me you believe me. You could kill me.
You can kill me, or you can make this very easy.
So let me breathe. Just let me be. I'd show you more than you could ever hope to see. Intentions are the same I find, but even if they are I still need room to shine.
So give it time and give it space: this isn't just a slap across your face. If this is how it's gotta' be, I will never speak freely.
You can make this very easy if you can show me you believe me. You could kill me.
You can kill me, or you can make this very easy.

Won't you believe in me? Won't you believe in me?
Believe in me, now.
Do you believe me?
You gotta' believe. You've gotta' believe me.
Do you believe me?

You can make this very easy if you can show me you believe me. You could kill me.
You can kill me or you can make this very easy.
You can make this very easy.
You can show me that you believe me.
You can kill us. You can kill me, or you can make this very easy.
:::::::::::::::::::::T::H::E::::E::N::D:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Got love?.
[ I don't think so]