First year teaching in the Bronx

So what's been going on?  A lot of things have happened since the last post, or at least since the last private post.

School officially ended last week.  The school year was difficult.  Several full blown octagon style classroom fights, a stolen laptop, breaking down in front of class (how embarrassing) and nearly quitting, threats, curse-outs, major failures and a low 10% passing rate later…I’m sitting here writing this post wanting to continue, get better, and try again next year.  I'm learning that teaching is not impossible after all and that it really just takes devotion.  Lot's of it.  I learned so much this past year, not just about teaching, but about really depending on God.  I tell you I seriously could not have done it without Him... 

In the first few months I really wanted to get my masters and go somewhere like Scarsdale, but I’m set to go longer here in the Bronx.  Well, at least I need to stay another year.  We’ll see what second year brings.  Apparently it gets easier, and by the third year I shouldn’t have a problem.

The kids in the Bronx are not that bad.  They may be hard(core), but they’re really just kids – the beauty of it is that we have that opportunity to be a positive influence.  I’m actually finding that responsibility pretty cool.  I’m satisfied with this.  Thanks for coming through.    

Teaching

Teaching is impossible. 

Just a few thoughts...

1.  Your parents are a lot more like you than you think.

2.  I want to go snowboarding really badly.

3.  .................damn I thought I'd have a long list but I guess that's it...

Crazy two months

It's been a good two months since I went off on this quest to become a teacher and what can I say...It's been stressful especially this last month teaching 7th grade summer school kids up in the bronx.  With hair like mine, you can imagine what kids called me the first few days...I heard it all - Jet Li, Jackie Chan, Bruce, Ninja...But they eventually learned to call me Mr. Lee.  I layed down the smack down on them and I assure you they would never dare to call me ninja or bruce again...

I had a lot of fun.  I got to know these kids pretty well although I'm not sure how much they actually learned in terms of math...they take a statewide exam today to see if they can move on to 7th grade or repeat the 6th...so hopefully all of them will pass.  The most stressfull thing about this profession is that your performance is based on how well these kids do - every single one of them.  If they end up in summer school, you can't help but think that it was your fault, although it may not be true.  Regardless of the stress - I enjoyed working with these kids.  Definately a lot of frustruation that came with it all, but at the end of the day its really rewarding.  Now, I don't know what to expect during the regular semester.  I'm get anxious and feel completely unprepared to go out there and teach but I seriously just want to lay it down to God and pray that he use me to do what he does.

I'm going to NC this Wednesday - I have a lot of things to think about and reflect on.  Thank you for your prayers.   

The World You Love

I got a story it's almost finished
all i need is someone to tell it to
maybe, that's you.

our time is borrowed and spent too freely
every minute i have needs to be made up
but how?
i'm looking for a nice way to say
"i'm out."
i want out.

i fall asleep with my friends around me
only place i know, i feel safe
i'm gonna call this home

the open road is still miles away
Hey nothing serious
we still have our fun
oh we had it once

Windows open and close
that's just how it goes

don't it feel like sunshine after all
the world we love forever, gone
we're only just as happy
as everyone else seems to think we are

i'm in love with the ordinary
i need a simple space
and rest my head
everything gets clear
well i'm a little ashamed for asking
but just a little helps
it gets me straight again
helps me get over it (over it)

it might seem like a dream
but it's real to me

don't it feel like sunshine after all
the world we love forever, gone
we're only just as happy
as everyone else seems to think we are

you should see the canals are freezing
you should see me high
you should just be here
be with me here
it doesn't seem theres hope for me
i let you down
but i won't give in now
not for any amount

don't it feel like sunshine after all
the world we love forever, gone
we're only just as happy
as everyone else seems to think we are
-J.E.W.

Listening to this song makes me feel awfully terrible.  I guess the fact that I won't be around anymore is slowly starting to hit me

...It's way too early and I'm cracked out.  Goodnight...