11/3/07

It has now been 3 weeks since I found Diesel dead. I still miss him so much. I still cry a little everyday. Just a few tears here and there.

There are so many things around here that make me think of him. Some of the things are:

The bin of doggy treats.
His bin of food.
Toys
Sitting on the couch watching TV
Everytime I'm on the computer I still look under my chair before getting up.
Certain t-shirts/clothes
His pill bin still on the counter
Walking down certain isles at stores
and many many more.

Everyone keeps asking me what I want for birthday. I say I don't know, but honestly all I can think of is how much I still want him back, how much I still need him.

Time has went so fast. It still feels like yesterday he was here. I still catch myself looking for him, checking to make sure he is not under my feet.

Diesel

Saturday I found Diesel dead, anyone that really knows me knows he was my world, he was my child, my companion, my rock... Now he's gone.

I miss him so much, it hurts so much. The horrible empty feeling that never goes away. The sinking heart everytime you think of him.

 Me and my baby!

I just want to pick him up and hug him, have him curl up in my lap when we watch tv, sit next to me on the couch, follow me around the house, lay under my feet.

He was my life saver... he's the reason I'm still here... It was him that kept me here.. and now he's gone.

I've never hurt so much, every day is harder.

I don't wanna accept that he's gone, I need him! I don't wanna be without him. I find myself gasping for air since he has been gone.

Diesel when I first got him.

Why are people mean?

So I've been doing some thinking lately...

Why does everyone focus on bad things instead of good things?

What I mean if you think about it the majority of the human race will quickly point out bad things about people, things they have done wrong, or lack. But they hardly ever will point out good things, but when you do everyone feels so much better.

Think about it, if someone compliments your hair, outfit, etc how much better do you feel that day. You have confidence, feel warm and fuzzy inside, feel liked and recognized, and I'm sorry but who doesn't thrive off of that? If you say you don't your full of a bunch of shit.

Anyways at work I work my ass off, I do the best job I can possibly do, all the time. I help out when needed, volunteer to do things, etc. Well its hard to do this all the time when you don't feel like its getting recognized... However, it is just people don't say it all the time. I unfortunately need this recognition. I know maybe its pathetic but that's what help me feel good, what helps motivate me.

This week was customer service week. Work makes a huge deal out of it, and at the end of the week they give away an award to the person that is voted they feel provides the best customer service. Here is what the top supervisor of the service desk said about it.
"As I have previously stated, this is the most prestigious award you can receive on the Service Desk"

Anyways I won the award this week. I know its kind of retarded but it feels good to know everyone thinks I do a good job.

So what I wanna try and do, not only to make other people feel good, but make myself feel good is I want to try and compliment someone everyday. Truely mean it too.

Here are some of the compliments I have gotten at work over the last year... I am posting them here so I can come back and read them over and over to feel good.

Kim: 10/5/07
Way to go….you have come along way from being so quiet to becoming the top specialist.
Keep it up. Good things are out there.
Thanks for everything you do.

Customer: 9/14/07
Thank you for your quick response. I appreciate all that you do.

Dan: 8/29/07
Another happy and grateful customer. Thanks to the two of you for your effort on this. I appreciate it.

Glenna: 8/29/07
Good job guys!  I know it wasn't the smoothest or timeliest transition, but you made it happen!!

Kim: 8/23/07
Thank you Victoria for recognizing your team member, Chrystal. Chrystal, thank you for stepping up and striving for five. You both are very appreciated.

Victoria: 8/22/07
I want to thank her for being very helpful and patience with me.

Kim: 8/2/07
thank you for everything.

Kim: 8/1/07
i would like to say THANK YOU for doing ALL that you do.

Jarrod: 2/26/07
It is worth noting that Chrystal did a good job of troubleshooting this issue and provided good notes to Collaborative Services...

Kim: 2/26/07
Good stuff Chrystal.

Sheryle: 7/31/07
while I was gone last week Chrystal did an awesome job working tickets

Kim: 7/31/07
GREAT JOB.

Elizabeth: 7/31/07
Thank you, Chrystal.  I know you volunteered last time I needed coverage for after hours, too.  This is really above and beyond, and we appreciate you stepping up. 

Customer: 7/22/07
Thank-you. Your timely response is appreciated.

Customer: 7/19/07
Wooo-hooo!  There is joy in Mudville today!  Thank you.  We're not worthy (repeat as needed)...  Thank you, thank you, thank you....  My Mother thanks you, my second cousin thanks you, my therapist thanks you....  Well, you get the idea...

Customer: 5/22/07
Thank you Crystal, no wonder I could not find the email. You are the only one who sends those emails showing that their set up is complete and confirming what they have access to. by the way from a customers perspective I really appreciate those emails.

Update...

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