Currently Listening Tracy Chapman By Tracy Chapman see related

You're a has-been that never was.

And another one has come and gone. But you can't really say he ever came. They never actually come. It's all my little mind game. I find someone, my interest peaks. Surely. Surely he was looking at me that one time. Surely he likes me. I daydream in class about the coming weekend. When he will call me and we will go on a fabulous date. I will be witty and he will be charmed. And while my head is in this fantasy world, there he goes. Gone. But not gone enough so that I can't see him standing at his locker with his arm around her hips. And the thing is, I can no longer call myself surprised. Did I not call this one several weeks ago? Have I not called every single one? Is it not a sad continuous cycle? I know that nothing will ever happen, but I let my heart leap, just for the sake of leaping. And then I screw it up. I run away. I avoid his eyes. It's just another one. Next week it will be someone else. But when that is over, it will hurt just a bit more. And that desolate hole in my heart will tear a little more, and get just a bit bigger.

I can't even write about this eloquently. I can't write anymore. Even my words have left me. I've been left to go listen to Mike Kinsella on my bed while the rain mixes with the noise from my headphones.

Currently Listening Hellogoodbye By Hellogoodbye see related

They will look forever but never touch.

Could you love someone enough after all you've had and you've lost? It's a simple question. I'm only asking because I don't want to die alone. Could you love someone completely? And yes, by "someone" I mean me, spoiled sick like milk you let sit too long. It's a simple question. As I lie awake waiting for you to lay beside me
I can almost hear the sad waltzes of Pietro Crespi. Could you love someone who does whatever she wants to do
whenever I want to? It's a simple question. I'm only asking 'cause I don't want to die alone.

Currently Listening 40 Oz. to Freedom By Sublime see related

I like him. A lot. And he likes me. A lot.

Something is wrong with this picture. I will screw it up. Just wait. I will.

"Why are you scared to dream of God
When it's salvation that you want?
You see stars that clear have been dead for years
But the idea just lives on.

 Did you forget that yellow bird?
How could you forget your yellow bird?"

Currently Reading The Constant Princess By Philippa Gregory see related

Yesterday we decided that on the first day of summer, we would smoke together.

Fuck everyone else.