wow, its been a long time since i've posted on here, anyways. i couldnt access my journal thingie on the other site. anyways. this weekend we have a concert! well.. kinda. its the chili supper. i dont remember exactly what time we perform, but to find the schedule go to bandaides.org and you'll find it there. anyways. come support band!! woo!! (just cause i didnt sell any tickets i thought i'd say that) anyways. hope to see at least somebody i know there.

later

~haley bean~

Currently Playing Still Not Getting Any... By Simple Plan see related

- Welcome to My Life

its been 3 days since i've seen matt.....our one year was horrible. he didnt even take off work. its not like this was a new thing that he didnt know was going to come up. he knew for a year. exactly. didnt even think to ask off for that day. and he didnt even come by the day after either. really makes me sad. he didnt even apologize until i told him that i cried over it......       i have a concert tonight. hes not going to be there.....again. even my aunt from lawrence will be. it takes her a good hour minimum to get to school to see me play. i see her more than him. just dont know what to do anymore. i'm questioning if i should break up with him or not. doesnt seem to be much of a point to us being boyfriend/girlfriend. doesnt even seem like i'm dating anybody at all.

last night alex fuller picked me up from babysitting. He had just finished his 6 hour shift and even brought me a coke. then, he took me home. on the way home we talked about stuff. matt was a subject too. he told me that he should have at least gotten his ass over to my house to see me the next day with flowers and a really good apology speech. or at the very least, a kiss. but...nope. no such luck for haley. s'ok. i'm getting used to getting the shaft whenever it doesnt work out for somebody else.....i'm gonna fuck up my solo tonight too. not to mention seeing something thats painful for me. and theres only 1 other guy that i know that would come close to making me feel the way i do when im' with matt,...but,...he's in a relationship and isnt going to end it anytime soon. and on top of it all. the shawnee mission district is saying that we havented paid for my tuition...shows that we still owe $979 or something. oh well. i guess its just the way things are for me.....

~haley bean~

i'm not gonna post on here much anymore. if you want to see my online journal go to this link

http://www.myownjournal.com/journal.php?u_mem=blindeyeturned

i might use this one now and then, butn ot often. later

~haley~

Currently Playing Horse of a Different Color By Big & Rich see related

- Save a Horse

hmmmmmmmmmmm. hi. whats goin on..i havent posted for...well ever. i'm really bored right now though. i dont really feel like typing....so leave me a message on here...or call me....but dont expect to be able to talk to me for too long, mom's a bitch and i've only got an hour of phone time....matt..you need to call me or leave me messages on here. i love you!

~me~

 here are 2 songs i wrote last night...keep in mind,...i really was depressed last night....let me know whatcha think.

                                               Sorry To Go

Your dark hair falls in front of your eyes

so much for me to say

know you're not ready for this surprise

but where should i begin

those dark eyes patiently look in mine

it will soon be my end

Chorus

I am sorry to hurt you like this

but there is no other way

Wish we could go back to our first kiss

But i cant go on living like this

I gently brush your soft hair away

tell you how i love you

now i need to go on my own way

there's nothing i dont fear

and while i'm saying all this to you

i brush away a tear

Chorus

I am sorry to hurt you like this

but there is no other way

Wish we could go back to our first kiss

But i cant go on living like this

Your dark eyes well up with all your tears

gently kissing your cheek

You beg me to not go but stay here

but we know the deed's done

Cant go back to where we were before

the pain is done, the pills are gone

Bridge

The pain took me over

but never forget me

i'll always be your lover

I'll give up heaven if i can

just to be with you again

Chorus

I am sorry to hurt you like this

but there is no other way

Wish we could go back to our first kiss

But i cant go on living like this

Please understand

I'll always love you

I'll give up heaven if i can

we'll be together again

Decayed

All i could think of is what happened

nothing was said

couldnt move and

i couldnt stop my tears

fallen into this deep dark abyss

as if I'd fallen from existence

chorus

i was sad lonely and afraid

lost and confused not knowing what to do

my heart had decayed

through all my pain

all i could do was cry

never knew this would make me want to die

all i do now is walk through these days

no emotion

hope slowly fades

theres only one way out

i'm sick of being numb all the time

i'll make this last decision of mine

chorus

i was sad lonely and afraid

lost and confused not knowing what to do

my heart had decayed

through all my pain

all i could do was cry

never knew this would make me want to die

dark all around my eyes wont open

only pain's felt

have no hope and

i'm scared lonely and cold

i hear voices all around my head

my boyfriend praying that i'm not dead

bridge

so i took a few pills

who would ever think

that too much aspirin kills

dont try to save me

already dead and gone

just go and leave me

chorus

i was sad lonely and afraid

lost and confused not knowing what to do

my heart had decayed

through all my pain

all i could do was cry

never knew this would make me want to die

all i could do was cry

now i know what has made me want to die