Things I wished I knew before clubbing. Inspired by other recent post from fellow Xangans, here is my contribution to the topic. Today's entry is also a celebration of my 10 year anniversary of clubbing! Yes, folks – an entire decade of dancing and partying, since the age of 18. I am a true party historian, I’ve been holding it down from the deep house music in the cafeterias & gyms (location of high school dances) to the fake-tified Hollywood scene you see on TV. Quick flashback, remember that one song they would always play to end every HS dance, yup “Always and Forever”. Back to the topic, so here are the things I wished I had told myself prior to my career in clubbing. - If the club charges an entrance fee and makes you wait – It will never be worthwhile. The one thing I’ve learned is that we (yes I am referring to all the guys out there) are the sole reason why clubs are in business. You think girls go around ordering rounds and rounds of chilled belevedere ( fyi for you ladies ) till they pass out ? Nope!! Clubs need guys to pay for their Bentleys that are parked outside, so if a place wants to charge you 20 bucks and makes you wait like a fool – Just walk away..Trust me.. - Pre-Party! Asians have pioneered the idea of efficiency and planning, I have taken the same principles from the Ming dynasty and have perfected the pre-partying concept to a T. This concept has saved me and the crew at least thousands of dollars each year.. yes thousands!!. So this what you do first, go buy a large thermo container or take out that fancy insulated Starbucks cups you use for the 50 cent refill (I will discuss the topic of Loopholes in a later blog). Before you leave your house fill up the cup with your alcohol beverage of choice. We utilize top shelf vodka because it does not have a strong odor and chill it first. Trust me, you do not want to put tequila in that cup if you plan to use it again or be prepared to gag every time you drink a cup of coffee. Second, buy those small dentist cups for water. Seriously, you don’t know where your friends mouths have been. Third, bring a good chaser. I prefer Monster (Juice) the purple can its quite tasty and gives you that needed peep to party for hours on end. - Buy a Breathalyzer – Trust me, not only is a good gauge to see how drunk everyone really is but also comes in handy to pick a driver. Plus, partying like a reckless mofo just isn't that cool anymore, especially when you have been threatened by the father or older bro to bring the girl back in one piece. - Bring GIRLS – I cannot stress this fact enough. Some people always claim that its quite easy to meet a stranger and dance the night away at a club, the reality is.. it just doesn’t happen that much, prob at most 3-5%. So comes to grip with your delusion and guarantee a fun night by bringing some girls to party with. If you do spot a girl that is in a group of less than 3 that has given you the approval smile, ditch the wing-girls and make your move. If the girl is with a group bigger than 3 don’t jump on the time-bomb unless you like committing suicide in front of your boys. - Do not open a tab – Tabs are the devil, cause usually you become so wasted that you do not realize 1. you had a tab open or 2. you buy loomers drinks. Loomers are girls who stand by the bar waiting for a guy to buy them a drink. You might believe they want to chill with you because you think you are soo cool, but in all honesty the only thing they want to keep close is the free shot they will swindle. - Don’t use lines. The club is already super loud and no girl can understand more than 2 words being yelled into her ear, most likely she will keep on asking you WHAT!!!???? WHAT?? Until the entire effect of the line is gone. Save the line for when you are outside or in a quiet area playboy. With the 3 day Labor day weekend, implement these tips and you will be guaranteed a great time. | 
