i really fucking love you

like that deep still get butterflies and my heart aches kinda love

the kind of love i know i will have forever and ever because you are everything that is on that stupid list i made at church camp about my perfect guy

and tonight you told me to fight

but when i try you push me so far away and get angry with me and stop talking to me

i am lower than a basic aquantice on your list and i dont know how to deal with it

i thought i was over it.

i thought i stopped

i had healed

i had given up

and moved on

i had gone ahead and started to forget about you

only to realize that is fruitless and stupid

if i am alone

so fucking be it.