yellowtriangles_n_purplespots's Xanga

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Sun, 02 Sep 2007 05:50:25 GMT

i really fucking love you

like that deep still get butterflies and my heart aches kinda love

the kind of love i know i will have forever and ever because you are everything that is on that stupid list i made at church camp about my perfect guy

and tonight you told me to fight

but when i try you push me so far away and get angry with me and stop talking to me

i am lower than a basic aquantice on your list and i dont know how to deal with it

i thought i was over it.

i thought i stopped

i had healed

i had given up

and moved on

i had gone ahead and started to forget about you

only to realize that is fruitless and stupid

if i am alone

so fucking be it.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Fri, 29 Jun 2007 16:21:37 GMT

so if i had to choose a religion

it would be

jeopardyism.

facts and answers. interesting tidbits. money. rules.

simple and easy. 30 minutes a day.

end.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 04:30:17 GMT

SAN ANTONIO SPURS

NBA CHAMPIONS 2007

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 23:08:45 GMT

summer is kind of boring

i cant wait for wimberley

i have a countdown

i want something to happen

i want to live my life

Friday, May 25, 2007

Fri, 25 May 2007 14:31:04 GMT

Sometimes people come into your life,

and you know right away that they were meant to be there.

They help you figure out who you are or who you want to become.

You never know who these people may be,

but when you lock eyes with them,

you know that in every moment that you are with them,

they will affect your life in some way.

And sometimes things happen to you,

and at that time they may seem horrible,

but you later realize that without overcoming those obstacles,

you would have never realized

your potential, strength, will power or heart.

The people you meet affect your life tremendously.

The successes and downfalls that you experience

can create who you are,

and the bad experiences can be learned from.

If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart,

forgive them

because they have helped you to learn about trust

and the importance

of being cautious to whom you open up your heart to.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally;

not only because they love you,

but also because they are teaching you to love

and to open your heart and eyes to little things.

Appreciate every moment and take from it

everything that you possibly can,

for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talk to people who you have never talked to before,

and actually listen.

Let yourself fall in love,

even if it doesn't seem right because you are

too young or too far away,

just follow your heart.

Surround yourself with those who make you smile, laugh, and make

you happy.

Break free and set your sights high.

Hold your head up because you have every right to.

Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself,

because if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will.

Live everyday as if it were your last.

And love every chance that you get.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Wed, 23 May 2007 23:39:34 GMT

how do i breathe?

how do i live?

how do i remember to go on?

to smile?

to laugh?

to actually be happy again?

it feels like i will be stuck in the depressing sad limbo forever.....it feels like nothing is right ever again.....it feels like all that was right and good and wonderful was ripped from my soul and being and all that is left is a saddened outer casing that holds the smashed and shattered pieces of what was my heart.

i have turned into a ziplock baggie.

i am nothing anymore.

i dont remember how to live like this....

and the worst part is that he is okay.

he is great.

he can smile and laugh and make plans and giggle and be free.

because he never loved me after all.

i am the sad victim of useless lies and simple trickery.

and he still wants to be friends.

and i still want him.

things will never be the same again.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Sun, 20 May 2007 14:13:56 GMT

humpty dumpty sat on a wall

humpty dumpty had a great fall

all the kings horses and all the kings men

couldn't put humpty together again

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Thu, 17 May 2007 03:04:55 GMT

what is so damn hard about simply talking?

about saying a few words

making thoughts and emotions known

letting people in so problems aren't made

and dont have to be resolved

because there is no problem

isn't it supposed to happen like this:

you start out not talking, secluded.

you move into each others lives and learn to trust

to love

to live

and then you open up.

right?

why is it moving backwards for us?

please god, just let it be stress and anxiety that comes with the end of the year...

please.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Sun, 13 May 2007 18:27:08 GMT

trust me, baby, please

just talk to me

i listen

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Tue, 08 May 2007 00:24:54 GMT

13 more school days

6 more ap tests

oh thank heavens there is finally an end in sight