I know I spoof people quite a bit, like the American version of Paris Hilton who didn't know how to buy stamps or post a postcard, or the dude at HSBC who didn't know what people with medical degrees do for a living.

However, despite all that I try to be as positive an influence as my cynical mind lets me be. I may grumble at work, but generally I try to crack a joke every once in a while and smile, make small talk with the patients, sometimes I dance or sing at work (out of whimsy, not out of duty!). I don't find that I force myself to be cheery or nice, it's a natural reaction to having a positive outlook on life. Plus, it's hard to say your life sucks when people are literally dying around you everyday.

I hate people who only have nasty things to say about other people, even though I'm not the target I find it telling how scathing their remarks are about themselves.

Take the acquaintance who asked really loudly across the dinner table of ten people why I chose to work in Australia? Was it because I couldn't find a job in New Zealand? This was the first sentence she said to me the whole night.

This coming from the girl who spent 8 years completing our 4 year Pharmacy degree.

Well, hello to you too you ass.

"Well, no I got a much better job offer here in Australia."

I finished within the top 30% of my class, completed my internship year within the top 10% of the country and won the national research award out of my year. Did you think I would find it hard to score a job?

Of course, I didn't say this to her face. I would be no better than her!

In hindsight, maybe she had ego issues. Heck, I think everyone who is really negative has issues. It's just unfortunate they choose to belittle others to feel friggin' fantastic about themselves.

I had another friend who always greeted you with something mean to say. She met up with another friend at her apartment in Auckland, and the first thing she said as she walked through the door was *glancing at her prom photo* "You look better in photos."

My friend retold me the story as she shook her head. She thought it was funny that she was so tactless! I laughed too, because that would be something that she would do.

Or the time I mistakenly thought a scene from one movie was from another movie. She went on and on about how stupid I was for a good 5 minutes in front of everyone at the dinner table. Er, ok. You smart, me dumb.

* I have a lot of stories about classmates or friends frequently being uber competitive or just plain negative, but no need to reiterate the dramas. I have distanced myself from them!*

Currently a friend is having issues with her flatmate. This flatmate earns a lot, is much older than her but sounds bitter. I mean, she even looks down on people who buy furniture at sales! This is because she buys everything at full price, otherwise she'd be considered tight. My friend is currently looking for another flat, and this current flatmate sniggers at her attempts to find a nice place at a reasonable rate. Always asking "You sure you can afford it?" *followed by a snigger*

Issues galore!! All the money in the world but she's still not happy.

Granted I'm not perfect. I get mad at the drop of a hat, blow up, then calm down a minute later ( I call it being volatile, but my boyfriend just says I'm insane) but I don't think I'm that bitter.

Am I?

I know hoping for happy, shiny people ala the REM song is a bit much to ask, but as Ghandi said 'be the change you want to see in the world'.

So I guess I'll start with me?

It's just so much easier being happy, than being angry and jealous at the world for being unfair to you. Happiness doesn't find you, it is you that needs to seek happiness in the things you do.

Damn girl, I is soo zen right now.