Currently Playing Fake French By El Guapo see related

- Space Tourist

A thought:

I was looking at a beautiful hill, the sky above it and the lovely little clouds bouncing about the top of the hill. It all seemed so fake, so two dimensional. Have I looked at so many pictures and paintings of nature that I no longer can believe what is real, what is three dimensional, what is there in front of my face?

      I know there are a lot of "hate-ers" out there especially when the USA is concerned. I just finished watching Pres. Reagan's funeral. It was so touching and powerful. The way our country allows freedom in religion, people from other countries to become Americans, the respect which is earned, not given.  In Thailand, the people have to respect the king, in America, our presidents have to earn respect. Reagan is a man who is greatly respected, the way he ran his life politically and personally is to be admired. My Dad said that there are two men in his life he admires, his uncle and Regan. To see my Dad get teary-eyed because of a death of a man he never knew... that was really touching.
   I love America.

      So much fun these last couple days. Jordan came down and for the first time was able meet a bunch of my friends and to hang out with Mike and Natasha, two of the funnest kids I have ever met. Wednesday night I took him up to Eagle's Nest, that was fun and on Thursday we went miniature golfing with Natasha, Mike, and Marcus. It is amazing how well Jordan and I fit into each other's lives. When Jordan was hanging out with Temeculanians, he seemed like one of us. 

      I am gonna do some work now, peace. Be excellent to each other. 

      The other day I found myself dreaming about being back in Thailand. The children, the skies, the hills, the food, the reality of something existing outside of the USA. Not being a daughter, a college student looking for work, a normal American, instead being a white person, a sister to eight year old twins, a clubber, a person who was experiencing life not in "the box".

      Isn't that what so many of us strive to do? I was there, I was living that lifestyle, now I just sit at home and watch day-time tv. Sick of it, the drama, the "my baby's daddy" shows, the makeovers! I think that I am getting addicted to the makeovers. Really, people, why are we here? What are we doing? The Christian in me says that we are here to glorify God and enjoy what he has given us. Can I really glorify God by sitting on my butt all day?! Grrr... Thailand, I wish I could go back. Every day there was something calling me, a purpose. Now, I just live waiting for the next semester of college to come. Yes, I am having some great times with my family and with my man, I just don't feel like I am really living.     Chan ow bi Chiang Mai, may chop ni

I really need to give my site a new look. My thoughts are so far from this page at the moment. I still love my xanga world, the people I have met here and the years I have spent sharing my heart with strangers.

Depression does not just come from not having a job. I am not depressed, yet. I HATE money. It controls us beyond what it should. My life sucks right not because I have no money. Over drawing is the worst.

Might get a job at a commercial real estate agency. I interned there when I was 16 and they want to hire me again. Please come moneys, please come. I have a debt to pay.