yingji421's Xanga

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 15:45:21 GMT

i never felt too happy while i was with him. I was constantly feeling that i didnt have a boyfriend. i feel like there's nothing in his life other than money. he doesnt know how to love or care about other people. all he tries to do is to make his dad love him more so he would get more money. the truth is his dad would never love him that way.

we broke up yesterday and i didnt feel too sad until today. i dont even know why i feel so sad. is it really becoz of the break up? not really. n i dont actually miss him too much. i dont even know if i ever liked him that much. we just broke up yesterday but it feels like we have broken up for a few weeks already. i remember when i broke up with some guys before i used to wish those guys would call me n tell me that they wanan get back with me, but with him, i dont even have that thought.

i dont even know what kinda guy i m looking for. i feel like i havent truely like anyone for awhile. i thought i really liked him, but maybe i was just trying to make myself n other people to believe that i liked him alot......

Monday, July 16, 2007

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 03:13:55 GMT

it's the same problem over and over again. i cant communicate wtih this guy. Katie n i talked about her wedding, about our dad and ended up we got really upset at 5am (4pm in chicago) n couldnt fall asleep. i needed to talk to someone and wanted some comfort n decided to call my bf. I dont ever expect him to understand my family situation becoz outsiders will never see or feel what i feel. he just needs to understand the part where my family, more like my dad makes me really unhappy all the time. n at least know that i was really sad when i was on the phone iwth him.

after i told him what was bothering me, he ignored what i said n moved on to some reallly random stuff n told me stories about his stupid cousin that i hate so much. n few more minutes later, Dennie called him n he asked me if he could call me back in few minutes!!!!!!!!

it's useless to tell him anything. he's not a good listener n has no emotions n doesnt understand me at all.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Thu, 12 Jul 2007 04:58:40 GMT

i dont know what to do. i m feeling really lonely beign with him. everyone else knows me alot better than my own bf. we cannot communicate at all.

i have been thinking and thinking if i still wanan be with him.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Sun, 20 May 2007 06:34:42 GMT

being with a guy who doesnt care or doesnt know how to show affection.
who needs alot of emotion support but doesnt know how to give n make other feel better.
who is not mean to me but is not open to me.

i dont n will never understand him.

sick of it. sick of this feeling. sick of being mad. sick of feeling lonely.

i m (almost) done.
Losing Feelings slowly but surely.
after japan trip, i'll be home.

Monday, April 30, 2007

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 16:52:45 GMT

WHY IS EVERYTHING ABOUT MONEY!!??

Monday, April 09, 2007

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 02:56:29 GMT

I saw the BEST MOVIE EVER!!!!!!!
GRIND HOUSE was AMAZING!!!!! i give it a A- and a A..n the two movies + the fake trailers, i give it an A+!!
i havent seen a movie this good for awhile!! :D :D

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Sun, 04 Mar 2007 02:18:39 GMT

Breaking up is not fun..but i will be fine

i'll just dance....n that will make me happy

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 04:09:43 GMT

when will i stop liking u....(never)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i should be happy for what i have this moment :) n yea..i m actually pretty happy!!

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Tue, 06 Feb 2007 03:54:45 GMT

Dancing makes me happy...

as long as i keep dancing i will never feel really sad...

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 18:57:59 GMT

i hate cleaning my apartment!!!!!!!!!!!!