Sunday...

I think I'll miss church very much.  The past 15 years have been great sharing with my brothers and sisters.  If i had the choice, I wouldn't want to leave them.  I'm such a weird person, I think I want everyone that I care about to be by my side forever.  But I learned that, it's not possible.  Today, during singing I felt pain.  The pain of separation. I hate it, i just hate it. 

The past 2 months, i've been playing extra for service because other pianists had other things to do.  It seems like God knows i'm going to leave, and he's providing me opportunities to serve extra for this family of mine. \

You'll never learn to treasure something until you are going to lose it.  Why are we this stupid?

Hm...I wonder if you'll miss me.

Was I ever anything to you?    Just thinking about this question brings many tears, and hearaches.   How come everything is this messed up? Can't we fix it together? Though i'm this hurt, but I still have the burden to love you.