I'm bringing Xanga back - drop a comment if you're with me!

I think that lately the batteries to my internal clock are running outta juice or something because my body keeps waking up at odd times throughout the night thinking it's mid-day or something. So while I'm waiting patiently to pass out again I randomly came across a personality test and thought, no one else has joined me in the waking world yet so eh, what the heck.

So according to "The Brutally Honest Personality Test," I am classified as a "Pollyanna" aka "The Idealist." Apparently this means that I have no use for hard facts and logic (hahhaha) and . . .

As an INFP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.

INFPs, more than other iNtuitive Feeling types, are focused on making the world a better place for people. Their primary goal is to find out their meaning in life. What is their purpose? How can they best serve humanity in their lives? They are idealists and perfectionists, who drive themselves hard in their quest for achieving the goals they have identified for themselves

INFPs are highly intuitive about people. They rely heavily on their intuitions to guide them, and use their discoveries to constantly search for value in life. They are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things. Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through the INFP's value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help the INFP define or refine their own path in life. The goal at the end of the path is always the same - the INFP is driven to help people and make the world a better place.

So does this make me a kind of illogical Yoda who's tendency to speak in backward sentences stem more from a need to untangle this jumbled world rather than from mere quirkiness and eccentricity?

Which poses yet another variation of the age old dilemma of what came first, the chicken or the egg? Are you more malleable to internal or external influences? Do your internal thoughts, values, judgments influence or even alter how you perceive circumstances? Or do your external circumstances (other people and situations) affect or alter your internal thoughts and ultimately how your perceive yourself?

I think that over time, it eventually evens out to a combination of both (well hopefully . . .), which is good to maintain a healthy balance so that you don't mutate into the crazy cat lady that lives on the corner and insists on marching to the beat of her own drum OR the walking lump of clay that molds and transforms each time it encounters another person/situation. Either way, speaking in terms of the present tense, your intuition must kick in and you find yourself steadily walking down one of these paths of perception, no?

aww man, end of entry and still wide awake . . . apparently I didn't bore myself to sleep so hopefully this entry didn't have that effect on you either haha

Ever have one of those times when you feel like this?

Things don't quite seem to be going your way or the going seems a bit tough?

Well I realized that it's okay. Because it's not always going to be that tough. And it's times like these that God likes to surprise you with some blessings that truly refresh your soul

And even though you might not know what's just around the corner, it's okay. Because you never know, as scary as it seems to be, it could just as well be something that'll make you smile. Either way the point is, is that it's okay to not know sometimes. And that's that.

"I was allowing myself to finally realize that everything in life doesn't have to have a finite formula or explanation. What we experience in life and how it affects us goes beyond mathematical boundaries . . . the sooner we can accept our uncertainties, the more certain and hopeful our future seems to become."

~ Paul Meany ~