yjt83's Xanga

Monday, June 09, 2008

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 13:01:38 GMT

I'm bringing Xanga back - drop a comment if you're with me!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 02:54:15 GMT

I was raised to believe that the quality of a man's life would greatly increase, not with the gain of status or success, not by his heart's knowing romance or by prosperity in industry or academia, but by his nearness to God. It confuses me that Christian living is not simpler. The gospel, the very good news, is simple, but this is the gate, the trailhead. Ironing out faithless creases is toilsome labor. God bestows three blessings on man: to feed him like birds, dress him like flowers, and befriend him as a confidant. Too many take the first two and neglect the last.

Sooner or later you figure out life is constructed specifically and brilliantly to squeeze a man into association with the Owner of heaven. It is a struggle, with labor pains and thorny landscape, bloody hands a sweaty brow, moments of ache and desire. All this leads to God, I think.

Perhaps this is what is on the other side of the commercials, on the other side of the curtain behind which the Wizard of Oz pulls his levers. Matter and thought are a canvas on which God paints, a painting with tragedy and delivery, with sin and redemption.

Life is a dance toward God, I begin to think. And the dance is not so graceful as we might want. While we glide and swing our practiced sway, God crowds our feet, bumps our toes, and scuffs our shoes. So we learn to dance with the One who made us. And it is a difficult dance to learn, because its steps are foreign.

. . . . I smell the mintlike scent of creation . . . And I think to myself, There is nothing I am missing. I have everything I was supposed to have to experience the magnitude of this story, to dance with God.

. . . . : : : : : Donald Miller : : : : : : . . . . . Through Painted Deserts . . . . . .

man sometimes I feel like my shoes are scuffed to the point where it's pathetic to see them out on the dance floor, or that I still can't quite get the rhythm to the song, or the beat and the steps still escape me. but i think that one day way waaaaaaay into the future I'll look up and realize that He is gracefully sweeping me across the floor. and by then I won't care about my scuffed up shoes anymore.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 06:59:03 GMT

I think that lately the batteries to my internal clock are running outta juice or something because my body keeps waking up at odd times throughout the night thinking it's mid-day or something. So while I'm waiting patiently to pass out again I randomly came across a personality test and thought, no one else has joined me in the waking world yet so eh, what the heck.

So according to "The Brutally Honest Personality Test," I am classified as a "Pollyanna" aka "The Idealist." Apparently this means that I have no use for hard facts and logic (hahhaha) and . . .

As an INFP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.

INFPs, more than other iNtuitive Feeling types, are focused on making the world a better place for people. Their primary goal is to find out their meaning in life. What is their purpose? How can they best serve humanity in their lives? They are idealists and perfectionists, who drive themselves hard in their quest for achieving the goals they have identified for themselves

INFPs are highly intuitive about people. They rely heavily on their intuitions to guide them, and use their discoveries to constantly search for value in life. They are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things. Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through the INFP's value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help the INFP define or refine their own path in life. The goal at the end of the path is always the same - the INFP is driven to help people and make the world a better place.

So does this make me a kind of illogical Yoda who's tendency to speak in backward sentences stem more from a need to untangle this jumbled world rather than from mere quirkiness and eccentricity?

Which poses yet another variation of the age old dilemma of what came first, the chicken or the egg? Are you more malleable to internal or external influences? Do your internal thoughts, values, judgments influence or even alter how you perceive circumstances? Or do your external circumstances (other people and situations) affect or alter your internal thoughts and ultimately how your perceive yourself?

I think that over time, it eventually evens out to a combination of both (well hopefully . . .), which is good to maintain a healthy balance so that you don't mutate into the crazy cat lady that lives on the corner and insists on marching to the beat of her own drum OR the walking lump of clay that molds and transforms each time it encounters another person/situation. Either way, speaking in terms of the present tense, your intuition must kick in and you find yourself steadily walking down one of these paths of perception, no?

aww man, end of entry and still wide awake . . . apparently I didn't bore myself to sleep so hopefully this entry didn't have that effect on you either haha

Friday, June 29, 2007

Fri, 29 Jun 2007 03:47:17 GMT

wow so this summer's edition of "Theresa meets the big apple" was a major success! In fact, she gives it two thumbs up! But let's move on to a more serious topic . . . .

in case you guys have been wondering why i've been MIA on facebook it's because it suddenly won't let me login/access it since last week. anyone have any suggestions on what to do?? and then when i tried to login to xanga to vent about it, xanga wouldn't let me in for the longest time ever. which brings me to another puzzling question:

if someone's trying to steal my identity one online organization at a time, why would they choose me?? of all people . . . what kind of a loser stalker/hacker would waste the time to rule my xanga/facebook??

seriously what is going on here??

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Sat, 23 Jun 2007 03:39:28 GMT

Ever have one of those times when you feel like this?

Things don't quite seem to be going your way or the going seems a bit tough?

Well I realized that it's okay. Because it's not always going to be that tough. And it's times like these that God likes to surprise you with some blessings that truly refresh your soul

And even though you might not know what's just around the corner, it's okay. Because you never know, as scary as it seems to be, it could just as well be something that'll make you smile. Either way the point is, is that it's okay to not know sometimes. And that's that.

"I was allowing myself to finally realize that everything in life doesn't have to have a finite formula or explanation. What we experience in life and how it affects us goes beyond mathematical boundaries . . . the sooner we can accept our uncertainties, the more certain and hopeful our future seems to become."

~ Paul Meany ~

Monday, June 18, 2007

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 17:40:46 GMT

"Africa makes a fool of our idea of justice; it makes a farce of our idea of equality. It mocks our pieties; it doubts our concern, and it questions our commitment. Six and half thousand Africans are still dying every day of preventable, treatable disease, for lack of drugs we can buy at any drug store. This is not about charity: This is about justice and equality. Because there's no way we can look at what's happening in Africa and, if we're honest, conclude that deep down, we would let it happen anywhere else -- if we really accepted that Africans are equal to us."

...::: Bono, Lead singer of U2 :::...

To put it short from a much wiser man from a much longer time ago . . . .

"For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more."

...::: Jesus (Luke 12:28) :::...

t.r.u.e. t.h.a.t.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 03:26:47 GMT

6.16.07 Pact

Sealed: at P.F. Changs over lettuce meat wraps

Consequences of breaking the pact: Death and/or ostracization

Motto: Pact or die!

hahhahhahaha we'll see how this plays out

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Thu, 24 May 2007 02:29:37 GMT

sometimes i say cynical things
sometimes i think cynical thoughts
but at the end of the day i drop my cloak
and i'm still the idealist and optimist that i was before
sometimes it gets me into trouble
like disappointments, sadness, and hurt
but in the meantime
it keeps me smiling
and it's worth keeping

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Tue, 22 May 2007 23:36:27 GMT

I love asking different people the same question
because the conversation that ensues
is rarely duplicated

Monday, April 09, 2007

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 11:38:09 GMT

Marvelous Light

I once was fatherless, a stranger with no hope,
Your kindness wakened me, wakened me from my sleep
Your love it beckons deeply, a call to come and die,
By grace now I will come and take this life, take Your life

Sin has lost its power; death has lost its sting
From the grave You’ve risen victoriously

Into marvelous light I’m running, out of darkness, out of shame, by the cross
You are the truth, You are the life, You are the way

My dead heart now is beating, my deepest stains now clean,
Your breath fills up my lungs, now I’m free, now I’m free

Lift my hands and spin around, see the light that I have found
O the marvelous light, marvelous light

sometimes we just need a little reminder . . .