You are the light that guided me through the darkness and brought me into light.
When all hope is slim, you are always there to encourage me for the better.
You are wonderful in every way possible.

I hope you'll figure out what you want in your life, whether it's with me or without me. 
Maybe maturity has took it's toll and broaden your perspectives on what you want in your life.
I hope the feeling you have for me is still as strong as I think it is.

I'm feeling all CRANKY....for some reason....

I count the cases piled up high
For the 1:15.
For platform and for passerby
It's the same routine.
I'm ranting while I’m raving,
There's nothing here worth saving.

Tell me now, what more do you need?
Take me to Walter Reed tonight.
Baby I've lost the will for fighting
Over everything.
Well there's a few things I gotta say
And make no mistake, I'm mad…
'Cause every good thing I've had
Abandoned me.

All I want to do is hide.
It's graduation day
And everything I learned inside
Didn't seem to pay.
I've had my fill of palm trees
And lighting up Grauman's Chinese.

Tell me now, what more do you need?
Take me to Walter Reed tonight.
Baby I've lost the will for fighting
Over everything
And there's a few things I gotta say.
Make no mistake, I'm mad.
'Cause every good thing I had
Abandoned me.

A sad and lonesome me.

I'm the walking wounded
And I'd say it to your face
But I can't find my place.

So tell me now, what more do you need?
Take me to Walter Reed tonight.
Baby I've lost the will for fighting
Over everything
And there's a few things I gotta say.
Make no mistake, I'm mad
'Cause every good thing I had
Abandoned me.

A sad and lonesome me.
A sad and lonesome me.
A sad and lonesome me.

Here, a quick up date of my "recent" event.

Final weeks approaches that mean....time to "CRAM" 
I have stacked up approximate 2 month worth of math homework that I have yet to do.
Secondly my anthropology paper is due tomorrow and I have yet to start on a single WORD.
Yes yes procrastinate more....*shrug*
Thirdly, I want to congrat some of my friends who got acceptance letter from UCLA.  Great Job guys n girls ;)  I'm gonna miss you all. 
Fourth-LY  I need to start doing some reading and seriously CHOW-Down on the Bio, DNA stuff. 



This is basically me.....in the picture


Lastly and the most important thing above all that is Tomorrow is the birthday of Guantama Buddha.  (May 12th) 


K, i'll update real soon after finals are done.

One of possible explanation towards the "WHY" of why in Asian women tends to aim for Caucasian guys in my (Asian) perspective.


Already we know that "some" Asian men lack the physical characteristics of Caucasian guys which are; heights, penor size, packs, muscular tone, nice tan, the blue-ish eyes, the blond hair, or even some other things.  But beside the physical traits, what exactly DO Asian woman look for in a man beside her ideal guys' physical features??  There is the other factors such as sense of humor,  their hygiene, how caring they are, how emotional they are, how well they can carry a conversation, how rich they are, how well they do in a tense situation and of course other factors that I have yet to list, but you already know some or more in your hearts since you saw my title. 

In my opinion it ISN'T the any of the characteristic that I have listed above, rather it's a population issue or what I call ratio issue.  According to the statistic given by the US Census  "According to the 2000 U.S. Census, those who identify only as Asian-American comprise 3.6 percent of the American population, approximately 10 million individuals. The Census Bureau projects that the Asian-American population will grow to 37.6 million individuals by the year 2050, comprising 9.3 percent of the population."  And According to my Anthropology professor and Ethnic studies professor both stated there are approximately "3 to1 ratio for Asian man to Asian Woman" in the United States. Therefore there isn't a balance between the man to woman.  If Asian men were less than Asian women then there will be a higher demands for Asian man.  (according to the Law of Supply and Demand)

Once Asian women adapted to the U.S customs, they will slowly loose their Asian identity thus become more Americanize.  Often, these Asian woman loose their culture and adapt to the U.S. main stream society which created the term "Banana"  (Yellow on the outside, white inside).  Of course the term do apply to Asian men as well.


In another word Asian woman are oriental to the Caucasian.  Just like how Caucasian think of broccoli beef, Kung-Pow chicken, Eggroll as an authentic Asian food. 

Do Caucasian man like you for who you are? or is it it a conspiracy created by the U.S. bureau to deal with the ethnicity issue that dwell within U.S. society?  If you have a Caucasian boyfriend, ask him the fellowing question

* Do you think ___________________ (whatever native food you can think of *make sure you don't use English translation for the food.) is authentic?
(I.E) *Do you think GON BOW GEE DING is authentic Chinese food (Make sure you use Chinese tone)

So to my fellow Asian men, what kind of action do you suggest we might do?
Here is my solution to you.  Go to Asia, find a woman who you love and love you back.  Date for several years then marry them.  Any women in Asian would definitely marry men who are U.S. citizen.  Help re-populate the Asian community in America.


Food for thoughts for my fellow Asian friends.
Do you really wish to marry someone who love you for being exotic?
Do you really wish to extinguish the remaining Asian population in United States

*add*  To all be color blind doesn't mean
1) Mix up all the ethnicity together so everyone is in one color
When I mentino the term color blind, I mean
1. a term for people that don't identify others by race, creed or any kind of ethnic background.
 -http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=colorblind

So why not give the fellow Asian men a chance?  Sure you might have a couple bad experience, or your father might be a dead beat drunk who beats you when you were little, but it doesn't mean your new Asian boyfriend will be. 

further info can be obtain here for the census statistic
http://www.cdc.gov/omhd/Populations/AsianAm/AsianAm.htm

 

Listening to Andy Chuu's piano music *Our Last Demo*

I'm sitting in my room
The room is pitch dark behind me
The only available light is from my glittering monitor
The room isn't scary
The soft playing notes of Andy Chuu's music melts my soul
I feel relax
My day wasn't tough
I didn't study during my weekend
I feel like crying
I feel like laughing
I feel emotionally separated
The emotional discomfort of my past haunt me
My natural competitiveness pushes me to my limit
I feel like killing that other half of myself who is constantly compete with others
I can no longer suppress that other half
One day that other half will crush me
The good loving, fun laughing self will disappear
I'm the dust particles in the gust
I will vanish

Shadows fill an empty heart
As love is fading,
From all the things that we are
But are not saying.
Can we see beyond the scars
And make it to the dawn?

Change the colors of the sky.
And open up to
The ways you made me feel alive,
The ways I loved you.
For all the things that never died,
To make it through the night,
Love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

The sun is breaking in your eyes
To start a new day.
This broken heart can still survive
With a touch of your grace.
Shadows fade into the light.
I am by your side,
Where love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love, it never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

Now that we're here,
Now that we've come this far,
Just hold on.
There is nothing to fear,
For I am right beside you.
For all my life,
I am yours.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
Baby, before it's too late,
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

As most of you probably have know I love Allison Mack :]  she is sooo hot