| i'm one of the thinnest girls in my office. they're all fat but one.
today 2 of the fat ones were making jokes abt how
i never eat. all the girls do it at some point or another.
"we've never seen you eat."
"you never eat a full meal."
"a jello cup isn't enough for lunch."
i just wanna scream.
i don't make comments abt their cellulite or
the fact that they eat like cows. that'd be mean.
so why do they feel like they're entitled to
judge my eating habits?
bitches.
intake so far-
yogurt- 170
jello- 10
crystal lite- 10
190
my hair's dry & falling out again. it's bittersweet.
it sucks that it's falling out. but it means i'm back
to where i used to be.
no food= dry unhealthy hair
a small price to pay for perfection.
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| lost 3 lbs (:
intake for yesterday
snickers bar- 270. bleh.
yogurt- 170
440
intake for today
yogurt- 170
apple-60
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| FAILURE.
i'll probably be this fat forever.
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| i've really been slacking when it comes to updating this. sorry girls.
everything's been really good lately.
one of my exes is trying to start things up again.
a former friend-with-benefits wants to "hang out soon."
and the guy i've been friends with for 2 years, from what
i understand, wants to take things further.
it all boosts my ego. but that last one makes me so happy. (:
he's such an amazing person and he's been the most stable,
healthy relationship i've had in so long and just talking to
him makes my world feel so centered. i just hope i don't
fuck this up.
he's even good motivation for the weight thing. when i
have a craving, i just tell myself that it's gonna make me
huge and not good enough for him.
anyways... intake-
2 puddings- 120
2 apples- negative (:
1 crystal lite- 10
healthy choice meal- 250
so 380 before the deduction for the apples
and the running around like a crazy person
around the office.
today was my boss' birthday.
there was cake and donuts.
it was so fucking hard, but i didn't give in.
i'm proud of me. (:
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| intake so far today-
breakfast sandwich- 200
yogurt- 60
applecranberry drink- 170
dinner- tba- but it won't be more than 300
so rounding up... 630
ew.
i lost 2 lbs. over the weekend which
i'm pretty excited about.
me and the boyfriend broke up saturday.
he knew all about the ED thing. he even
knew about my xanga. he could be reading
this right now lol. oh well.
but now that he's gone, i can eat or not eat
however i want. i always ate with him cuz i
didn't wanna get lectured. then he found out
that i took laxitives after he left and he was
pissed. oh well. you win some, you lose some.
"HUNGER IS A FEELING;
THIN IS A SKILL." |
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