well here i am again

soph. year was fun...i guess...they say jr years the worst...so ya...im buckled up

i dominated outfield as center fielder and i wouldnt give that up for the world...its kind of like being the ruler of an under establishment

i lost 16 pounds since last post 28 since 8th grade *yay*

im about to finish my correspondance algebra two class woot

chris and i had our one year anniversary june 16th ^ - ^ - ^

i learned alot this year...i learned to control my instability *somewhat* to actually drive me in the opposite direction...but then again some intances i just lost control...but in the end reality is always on the front porch waiting for me to pick it up again...i learned to interact better with people...instead of always being there to make you feel miserable day after day they might actually be pleasant most of the time...i learned to teach myself...whether it was an assignment for class or a relationship that was awry...i learned to figure it out by myself and fix it on my own...sometimes it would explode in my face i mean i'm only human...but its instilled a sort of pride in me that might have caused me more pain than i intended it to...ive learned to depend on God for everything...he truly does provide...ive learned alot since freshman year...i wasn't exactly where i needed to be at that point either...i almost miss the feeling...the feeling of insecurity and helplessness...of being scared and all alone...that moment of utter weakness follwed by a newer stronger feeling of power...that was soon to be replaced by weakness...a neverending cycle...and i lived by it...i was always so empty though...always empty...jealous of everyone else...why werent they hurting like me?...i was on the outside looking in...i was in the middle of an open world...suffocationg and dying to get inside...to be with the people i saw on the inside...that were happy...maybe they werent really happy...maybe its just a mask that we all wear...i know i wore mine...summer saved me...i could never go back...its impossible...ive got too many things pushing me forward...

all is well...for the most part
only thing is im pretty much bored
having no school is cool but no one to talk to is snorezville
im watching the grim adventures of billy and mandy w00t
we dissected frogs yesterday yay
im a bit slimmer thats a PLUS and im happy
im goin to chris's at 3 and i need something to do to pass the time
i got my TAPPS solo...air and corale...its really pretty and its the only clarienet song ill have to work on...finally something a BIT challenging
my piano teacher says im one of her few students who has great potential to excell verily and be a great pianist so im happy about that ^-^
the beginning of softball season is still being dragged out...i hope it drags out more bcuz i DO NOT want my first softball game to be on February 14th VALENTINES DAY...lol its gonna suuuuuck if it is
newho ttyl all

I aM wEiRd AnD yOu KnOw YoU lOvE iT

*right fieldling*

well we dissected a worm today...woot i know rite? lol it wouldnt DIE lol david had to drown it in alcohol before it would...then we cut it open and we obviously nicked a blood vessle bcuz u know...it was kinda bloody lol...well we couldnt tell one organ from the rest...all we had to do basically is cut it open and copy down info from our book lol...
me : *pokes inside of worm with probe* *pokes organ with probe* hmm...what do you think this is???
david : hmm...i dunno cut it out and see!!!
lol well i got to see chris today ^-^-^ very briefly but i still got to see him!!!!!!!!!!!!!
well our first softball game is february 14th VALENTINES DAY which totally TOTALLY TOTALLY SUCKS...erg...if i dont go i could be kicked off the theam though...grrrrrrr...GRRRRRRRRR*kills**cough* but gah...and mrs. tolley made the schedule...its really obvious rite???...i mean who schedules a game on VALENTINES DAY???o_0 oh grr...that really cooks my beans...well we're supposed to get our letterman jackets sometime this week...woot...my stupid email wont work so i cant get jacklys bio review...erg i dont wanna fail this chapter...its hard enough already...im listening to shiny toy guns...cant wait for their cd to come out...well...laterz...

danii

well i got a 150 on my psat...lol thats actually pretty good comparing my scores to some of the ppl in my grade...its kinda sad to get a 13...newho
mom wanted me to take a summer course for algebra II and im like...no lol so ima take some tutoring so i can make a bttr grade on my psat next year...
dont feel like posting my report card scores so just to tell you i got a 94.25...its an A...i needz to work on my history lol my lowest grade 86 i think...
well right now im watching tivoed madtv and talking to chris lol...
softball is starting up WOOHOO...lol we've finally started throwing some but we're still gonna run that mile a week...after school practice starts the middle of this month...
well i get to see chris tomorrow ^-^-^ thats gonna make my day alot better
worm disection on monday...new lab partner is david groux...w00t
well thats all for now
byezzzzzzzzz
^-^

^^^got bored and did my makeup...this one was my favrite design