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| it stings sometimes.
when you accept people for who they are and enjoy how they differ from you
and yet ultimately they wish you to be just as they are...
if I become you, what becomes of me?
see how this can't be?
"run, run, run..."
it snows outside
and I'm warm.
today the simple things mean more to me. | | |
| the hardest part isn't letting go.
it's picking up where u've left off & being utterly dissatisfied.
practice. practice. im back.
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| friendship.
it's been a funny thing. | | |
| the partys over when everyone goes home... or in this case, to class.
no, the partys over when the music stops... fix up, look sharrrp
juuuuust two and a half more weeks until I too am sucked back into the flow of things...
so why can't I enjoy the sit. You know why. No one likes to sit. alone.
I'm sick, world. My brother actually read the labels to the various cough syrups before bringing one home to me. I found it to be a very sweet gesture but come on... who enjoys the taste of cough syrup? liquid medication feels so ancient... swallowing cheap cherry flavoured cough syrup is worse than hackin on my own overflow of mucus. mmmm.... mucus.
But I did feel a bit better this morning.
I think my fish is dying... I named him Mopey b/c he looked so sad...
but now I know it was b/c looking at him made me sad.
or maybe by the fact that Mopey is such a horrid name for a fish.
I want a mini-shark. I would name it Ivan. HAHAHA...
oh & I hope to not update xanga again.
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| mum & friends visiting me over LD weekend...
helping me move into my apt...
arguing. making up. & suddenly hugging them each a good-bye...
standing there as they ready for yet another long drive...
running only til I see the vehicle completely disappear...
walking back up to my apt...
perfect. perfectly empty...
finding my hand-wash clothes soaking in the sink...
finding mum's ring beside the sink...
eyes filling up...
breaking down...
11:00 voice shaky. calling mum telling her she frickin left her ring. really just wanting to hear her voice...
11:30 calling to make sure they haven't crashed...
12:30 calling to make sure they're ok...
1:30 calling to make sure they're still ok...
2:30 repeat...
3:00 K.O... zzzzZZZzzz
I hate...
I love...
You change so much you tend to forget what you had, have, still have, lost, try to ignore, fucking miss.
Privacy. God, I love my privacy. The hermit is again my inner monster.
Living on my own feeds it... it's getting heavy... unavoidable.
Independence is my ultimate selfishness.
I've been anti-social these past few days. I've found myself neglecting friends. For that, I apologize.
I've needed time to grasp it all. w/o you or your input.
I feel a productive year ahead.
I'm giddy about my classes this time around.
Classes are finally up to par.
I have a good feeling about the random job applications I filled out today.
random fits itself in w/o all the hopes, disappointments attached.
jeez, I like typing when I'm mopey.
hello, my name is mopey.
tomorrow my identity is subject to change. | | |
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