I feel like an ugly duckling. Why am I here? I keep asking myself the same question. "I wanna be beautiful. Make you stand in awe ..."

My goal tonite is to finish my Buddhism paper as well as my phil paper. I haven't even started my phil paper, but I think I have a pretty good idea about my topic. So hopefully, it'll be a piece of cake. I just had a bacon classic with a biggie-sized french fries from Wendy's. I am so full I can't think.

Music in general is so misleading, it seems. The world appears to be such a beautiful place when I'm listening to certain songs. But once the songs end, I'm left with an even bigger hole in my heart. I sigh and realize I'm back in this world, where I feel sober and things are sobering. I don't like waking up to feel like I've just been stranded in a dreary place. Oh trees, flowers, and even the sky are as beautiful in this place as anywhere else. Yet they don't smell of life. They are like pretty dolls with a fixed, artificial smile.