Chapters 4-6

Safari, Bugtis, Sibi Fair

4-15-05

     Shabanu and Dadi already left for Sibi.  I heard that Dadi and Shabanu, along with Guluband stayed the night at a village. In the morning Dadi gave Shabanu a special gift; glass bangles to match her dress! How I wish I could have came! That same day they ran into the Bugtis tribe. Dadi asked if they can pass their desert in order to sell our camels in the Great Sibi Fair.  The Bugtis let Dadi through under one exception. He could not be helping a young Bugtis tribe member with her escape with a young boy of another tribe. Dadi told them that he wasn’t helping her. I was relieved to hear that they let Dadi, Shabanu, and the camels through. That same evening  all of them enjoyed their time together over chapattis and hookahs. The Bugtis adored Guluband. Dadi was trying to offer a price for him! I know he wouldn’t see Guluband! How sad Shabanu would be!

     Shabanu went to the Sibi Fair. This was her last time. I’m not even allowed to go there anymore for I am too old. Only girls age 12 and younger, and men are allowed to go. Women would not be spotted at the fair. Shabanu rode many rides at the fair and had a chance to try paan. Half of the money Dadi gave for Shabanu to spend on the rides is gone. She must have had a great time! When they went back to their camp, men with guns waited for Dadi. They wanted to buy some of Dadi’s camels. Wardak, the Afghan leader wants to buy Guluband! How shocked I am! I worry more for Shabanu. It will break her heart!

Chapters 7-9

The Bargain, Shatoosh, Dowry

4-15-05

    I learned that Dadi sold more of our camels, including Tipu! Dadi also sold Guluband. I really don’t want to see Shabanu’s reaction to it. A part of me is gone. Guluband has been with our family for a long time. He seems to be a family member, but at least we are now of good fortune. We will have many dowries now. Dadi and Shabanu had a celebration with Wardak and their crew about the camel selling. I wish I was there to witness everything. I found out that Dadi bought a present for Shabanu.He bought her a puppy! I was told that the puppy was very smart. Dadi called the puppy Sher Dil meaning “Lion Heart” because the puppy is strong and unafraid. Shabanu, Dadi, and Sher Dil arrived at Rahimayar Khan on the eighth day of their trip. Shabanu went shopping and went to look for shawls for my wedding. Shabanu received a white shawl for me from the shop keeper. She says the man gave it to her, but I can’t believe how generous a man can be! Dadi, Shabanu, and Sher Dil finally left Kahimyar Khan with many presents for the family! Now they are on their way home to Cholistan. I can’t wait until they arrive!

     Mama and I ran to meet Shabanu and Dadi. How joyous I was to see their shining faces again! I saw Shabanu’s watching with tears of joy as I ran towards her. I felt some water sparkle down my cheek as well. I tell them the good news that we have dozens of new baby camels. I show Shabanu our new baby camels and the goatskin bag I made to feed Mithoo. She seemed surprised to see how Mithoo has grown closer to me. I was even more surprised when Dadi and Shabanu gave us our gifts. I received jewels and clothes. I was so excited that I danced with Dadi around the crackling fire. The sun was coming down so Mama and I went to look through my new jewels ad clothes. Afterward, I helped take Auntie’s loads away while trying to wake Grandfather, but he is knocked out. Shabanu and I decided to go to sleep together on Grandfather’s twine-strung bed.

Chapters 10-12

Nose Pegs, Channan Pir, Sharma

4-16-05

     This morning Shabanu gave me a hug and wanted to wash my hair I allowed her to while she told me a story about a Bugti girl and her lover running away together. I asked Shabanu if the girl’s tribe would really kill her if they caught her; she told me that they found her killed her. That thought gave me a cold sensation on my spine. I just sat there with my head dipped in the water, meditating on what I had just heard. We both told each other about the times we’ve missed together.

     Today we had Nose pegs to do. In a family act we pierced Xhush Dil’s nose with a long needle and quickly put the peg in. How disgraceful nose pegs seem to be! I stood there in shock as Xhush Dil moved about like a wild animal.

     On the night of the next full moon, we left for Channan Pir. Channan Pir is the desert shrine where women pray for sons and good marriages for their daughters. Shabanu and I rode in a mirrored Pannier on Xhush Dil’s back. Mama and Auntie rode another camel. Dadi, grandfather, and the little boys rode with us for a while as well. Grandfather told us about Grandmother and about the times he fought the Abassi Prince. I just looked at Shabanu. Grandfather’s mind always travels back and forth. Nighttime sun came and I fell asleep. Finally we approached Channan Pir. Mama and Auntie looked for their cousins to invite them for tea. I built a fir while Shabanu and Mama unloaded the camels. We saw our Aunt Sharma and Cousin Fatima. I think Fatima looks a little different, but not as beautiful. Aunt Sharma tells us of her different life with her ex-husband, and how she and Fatima were able to cope. How brave they must be! Fatima isn’t even married yet. She decides not to, and Aunt Sharma isn’t waiting for her to make that decision.

      My family prayed that I bear sons at the shrine. I was covered with many garlands for my family members each bought me one. I found out later on that Dadi fought another man. They seemed like Kalu and Tipu fighting nearby our camp. Shabanu seems upset by it, yet, I’ not so sure if she is.

     We enjoyed our company with Aunt Sharma. They talked a lot about preparations for my wedding. Aunt Sharma told us stories about women. A woman was stoned to death by her husband by looking at another man. Aunt Sharma also told us about he Hindu and Muslim faith. I overheard Aunt Sharma tell Shabanu that “a man’s love is a blessing.” How encouraged I was to hear those words for I will be getting married very soon.

Chapters 13-15

Desert Storm, The Thirsty Dead, Derawar

4-23-05

    The toba is slowly drying up. I woke up Shabanu in the middle of the night. The wind was so fierce. I took hold of Shabanu’s hand but she pulled away to get Mithoo. We couldn’t find Grandfather or Sher Dil. Dadi and Shabanu looked for them while I stayed with Mama. Mama, Auntie, and I cleaned the houses and took the sand out from our bedding. The following day I heard that Dadi found Grandfather. He seemed worn out but at least he was alive. Grandfather told us he wanted to die at Derawar so Dadi told him that we would leave at first light.

     We set out for Derawar with one goatskin of water. My dowry and Grandfather were traveling on Xhush Dil. We were very thirsty; Shabanu and I went to search for the Sito that will provide us with water. I became afraid because we saw a turban tied to the top of a small shrub. Travelers who are lost or thirsty tie their turbans to the top of trees in hope that someone may bring them water. If the person is too late to provide water, the ghost of the man will haunt the water bearer for the rest of his/her life. I ran for Dadi, and Dadi went to dig up and say prayers for the man. Soon we arrived in Derawar at night. We were very thirsty. I hope the monsoon comes before my wedding.

     Grandfather dies at Derawar. We couldn’t find a place to bury him. One old man would not let us bury Grandfather in one of the cemeteries.  Finally, we found a nice compatriot of Grandfather. He helped us find the tomb maker. We traveled to find him as we built a tomb for Grandfather. We placed Grandfather at the bottom of the grave facing Mecca. We walked forty times around and prayed for him. The old guard promised to watch over Grandfather’s grave, and put Grandfather’s sword and fez in an honored place.

Chapters 16-18

Ramadan, The Landlord, Spin Gul

4-24-05

     Our family decided to go to Mehrabpur early. Shabanu and I were looking forward to our first Ramadan. When we reached Mehrabpur, Dadi greeted Hamir and Murad. The rest of Hamir’s family greeted Me, Shabanu, and Mama. Bibi Lal, Hamir’s mother greeted us warmly. Kulsum also greeted us. Kulsum is Bibi Lal’s daughter-in-law. Her husband dies a year ago; leaving Kulsum a widow with four children. We were very thankful when Sakina, Bibi Lal’s youngest daughter, brought us water. Ramadan began and we didn’t eat or drink until sundown. After our prayers, we had tea and eat lentils, yogurt, and Chapatis.

     I will not see Hamir until the day I marry him. This is our custom. A man, Nazir Mohammad tried to catch the attention of Shabanu and I. Nazir and his crew was trying to buy us for their own pleasures. We ran to tell Dadi. Dadi told us to stay away from him. Nazir became very angry and started chasing after us. Dadi became angry too so he told us to pack all of our stuff and leave for Derawar. He promised to meet us as soon as he found Hamir and told him what happened. We quickly gathered our stuff and used the stars to guide are travels during the night. I began to cry. Everything seemed ruined. Would my wedding still proceed? Nazir Mohammad had been deeply insulted and wanted revenge. Dadi did not come back and we had very little water.

     In the morning we heard a gun shot. A man named Spin Gul and his desert rangers brought us a message. The message was from Dadi telling us to return to Mehrabpur. Mama disagreed to adhere to the message, but asked Spin Gul to ask the rangers to describe the man who claimed to be Dadi. Spin Gul stayed with us until we found out who the man was. Soon Dadi and Murad appeared, clothes soaked with blood. I could sense that Shabanu thinks Murad is very handsome. It broke my heart to hear that Hamir is dead! I went crazy, cursing to Allah for taking away my happiness.

     We found out that the man who claimed to be Dadi actually was Nazir Mohammad. From hearing the news, the rangers at Yazman protected Murad’s family.

     More bad news came our way. Auntie had a miscarriage. It was a boy. Mama and Auntie walked out in to the desert to bury him.

Chapters 19-21

Yazman, Justice, The Choice

4-25-05

    Auntie blamed Shabanu for Hamir’s death. Shabanu just ignored her. Mama told Shabanu that Dadi and Murad spent the night talking on the radio with Nazir Mohammad’s brother, Rahim-Sahib. Nazir was threatening to cut off Murad’s water supply. Rahim-Sahib strongly desires that his brother make peace with Bibi Lal’s family. We were going to Yazman where Rahim-Sahib and Bibi Lal’s family were waiting so we can negotiate a solution. I just waited there feeling nothing but heartfelt pain.  Sakina told me what happened to Hamir. I wanted to know so badly. Hamir was shot by one of Nazir Mohammad’s men. Sakina told me Nazir was too drunk to shoot a gun straight. Hamir was shot twice and blood splattered everywhere. I couldn’t keep from crying. What was I to do?

     Earlier, Shabanu told me a man about Dadi’s age had helped her take Auntie’s children out from atop a tree. I heard from Shabanu that he was kind. I wonder what he was doing around our house. Later on at night, Shabanu woke me up because she heard Mama was deciding something. Could it be about me? What could it have been? Bibi Lal told us that my wedding would be held as planned after forty days of mourning for Hamir. I was now going to marry Murad, Hamir’s brother of whom Shabanu is to be wed! I stood there still as a rock not knowing what to do. Now Shabanu has to marry Nazir Mohammad’s brother, Rohm-sahib. I tried to comfort Shabanu, but she resisted it. If she didn’t marry Rahim-Sahib then Nazir Mohammad will disturb the irrigation water of Murad’s land. Mama told us Rahim-Sahib saw Shabanu and found her to be a lovely young lady. He was the man who helped Shabanu get the children out of the tree. Shabanu is mad at me, but what am I suppose to do?

Chapters 22-23

The Wedding, Cholistan

                                                  4-26-05

     My wedding has come. One of our male cousins and his 16-year-old wife came with there children. I was very apprehensive to see them! Rahim-sahib gave me a gift of pearls and rubies.

     The Mahendi celebration had also begun. At the Mahendi celebration women gather to decorate the bridal party’s feet and hands with henna. Mahendi prepares the bride for marriage with advice, dancing, fragrant oils, and teas. At sunset I had my palms painted with henna. Aunt Sharma gave me advice that I should keep my “innermost beauty” hidden deep within me, so that my husband will reach out to me to find it. I’m not so sure what it means, but it sounds just as beautiful.

     Everyone dressed me in a red silk chard. How I felt like a true princess! I went out to see Murad. We exchanged our vows, and afterwards had a reception of dance and music. I drank from the glass milk Murad drank. This was my first act of obedience to him.

     Bibi Lal pulled the veil off my face; Mama and Shabanu lead me to the camel with Murad waiting.  I heard the sound of the women crying behind me as I left with my new family.

     That very next day, Murad’s family had a feast for us. Rahim-sahib was there as well. I wondered what Shabanu would have thought.

     I missed my sister. I knew that Shabanu missed me too. Shabanu has been having a hard time growing up. She had to take responsibility of a real woman.

     There in the desert Shabanu looked for Mithoo. She gave him hugs while thinking about the private happiness she was having. Mama said the toba went dry again. She also told me that Shabanu grew breasts. Shabanu also began her monthly bleeding, but she did not tell Mama. Instead Shabanu tore up her skirt. Mama and Dadi suspected she had her Monthly bleeding. Shabanu threatened to run away to Aunt Sharma that very night. She told me she disguised herself as a man and ran away. Mithoo followed behind as she traveled the long distance to Aunt Sharma. Unfortunately, Mithoo fell into a foxhole and broke his leg. Shabanu just waited there in hopes that Dadi would come. Dadi finally came and started beating Shabanu. He finished with tears in his eyes. How strong the love of Dadi is for Shabanu and me! Shabanu just has to follow Aunt Sharma’s advice to let your husband find your “innermost beauty.”