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read my profile sign my guestbook  Name: Ashlee Country: United States State: Georgia Metro: Atlanta Birthday: 3/24/1989 Gender: Female Interests: i love music, all different types. i like emo, metal, punk, rock...all that jazz. im absolutely in <3LOVE<3 w/ hawthorne heights! i also like all the normal hip hop & every once in a while a little country. (give me a break, i live in georgia! lol!) im also into musicals, my fave is Phantom of the Opera. i like 2 sing, dance & act 2. yea, i basically love 2 entertain. its great *not* being me. Occupation: Student Message: message meEmail: email me AIM:  Cuteone2473
Member Since: 8/5/2005 |
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| josef and becker cause orrgasmsXcore previous - random - next I pretend I'm hot. Just go along with it. previous - random - next |
wow....so last night was VERY interesting! hehe, 2 say the very least.... i went 2 a bachelorette party 4 lin-z's sisters best friend. it was crazy! me & lin-z & val were so out of our element. we were the only ones there under age & 95% of the people there were all "no! you cant drink!" but there were a few cool ones that let us have a couple jello shots so its all good. it kinda sucked cuz pretty much all of the girls there were SOOOOOO stupid! we were talking about killing people w/ battery acid & this one chick goes "o! speaking of batteries....blah blah blah...." & she apparently also loves red pop rocks....MWAHAHAHA! so the party kind of sucked....UNTIL....the stripper got there!!!!!!!!!!!!! & we were all hoping hed be really hot & everything but NOOOO! he was at least 42! ICKY!!!!!!!! hehe. i mean, he was kinda built, but not cute at all & way 2 old 4 my taste. it especially didnt help when he gave everyone a lap dance! i definitely got it the worst! i dont think he realized im only 16. everyone he gave a lap dance 2 got beads, so the 1st thing he did was put the beads down my fucking shirt! & as he was doing this he was staring at my tits & saying "o0o very nice!" i was so creeped out! then he proceeded 2 pull the beads out of my shirt w/ his TEETH! the whole time he was doing this he was moaning! it was so freakin nasty!!!!! then, the most revolting thing ever happened!.......... he had his package all up in my face & then the nasty fucker decides 2 take his dick out of his thong!!!!!!!!!!! i just turned my head away & screamed "EWWWW!!!!!!!" the whole time. i am sooooo TRAUMATIZED!!!!!! it was so funny though. extremely gross, but funny. the funniest part was when lin-z got her lap dance. the stripper (we called him Rocky cuz he looked kinda like sylvester stalone, haha) was going towards lin-z's sister & lin-z goes "stay away from my sister!" so rocky said "who said that? o well, youre 1st then!" it was so funny. she was sitting on the ground so he had his package all up in her face & she was freaking out! she goes "hi, im lin-z by the way" & then he said the nastiest thing ever!!!! he goes "hi lin-z, this is penis!" EWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was so fucking great, hahahaha! then when he went over 2 val she told him he was disgusting so he didnt do much 2 her. we left after that. chelsea was supposed 2 come spend the night w/ us but she ended up not being able 2. it sucked....we missed you chelsea!!!!! so we ended up laying in bed scaring each other & cuddling & talking, hehe. it was great. i cant wait till we can all 4 do something. i love yall so much! lin-z: thanx 4 cuddling w/ my legs while you slept, how sweet! lol! val: dont ever crawl on top of me again! it wasnt that scary! hehe chelsea: we missed you! but hey, at least you got 2 talk 2 the nasty old stripper on the phone lol ok well im out! leave me some lovin!
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-Ash-
well, things are slowly getting better. infact, *VERY* slowly, but its better than nothing, right? one act is coming along very well. lin-z got the most awesomest kick ass solo ever! "waiting" is going 2 be the *cutest* song in the whole show! hehe. the song is about this little girl waiting 4 her mom 2 pick her up 4 school & shes all by herself cuz her mom is late. it is *super* cute! im starting 2 move on when it comes 2 josh. its very tough, but im trying. i mean, im still not over him, but im much further from where i was just last week. im starting 2 come 2 grips w/ the life i have now. its not 2 bad. im getting closer 2 lin-z & val so that makes me mucho happy! my dad came down this weekend. he lives in ohio. my mom called him wednesday cuz she was worried about me so he decided 2 come down & see me. we dont exactly have a very good relationship. then again, its hard 2 when he lives 600 miles away & is HORRIBLE at communicating. but him coming down here really showed that he cares, so it made me happy. he also came 2 my therapy session 2day which surprised me. hopefully, we'll start 2 form a true relationship. we maybe talk once every 1-2 weeks on the phone 4 like 5 mins max. so yea, i think we need 2 improve our communication. ive just been so lonely lately though. theres a guy who sits at my lunch table who likes me, but he is *SOOOOOO* not my type. plus, im not sure if im ready 2 date yet. i think itd be good 4 me 2 just stay single 4 a while. i dunno, im just trying my best 2 adapt 2 my situation & trying 2 have fun. i havent cut again since last wednesday so im happy about that. ive had urges, but no actions. so.....YAY ASHLEE! anyways, ive got loads of homework 2night so im gonna go. sorry this was such a pointless entry, ill try 2 put more meaning into my next one.
****EDIT***** -7:41pm- OMG!!!!!!!! i just found out that one of my good friends has an STD! i feel so bad 4 her, but she kinda had it coming. i mean, i love her 2 death, but she shouldnt sleep w/ so many guys & she should use protection. not 2 mention the fact that she got her current b/f infected as well. im not going 2 say who, so ill just call her "Sally Jane", hehe. so, "sally jane" i love you! take care of yourself! im disappointed in you, but i still love you. ill always be here 4 you! ok, i just had 2 get that out.
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my day was absolutely fucking *awful*!!!!!!!!! i stayed home from school cuz i felt like shit. i called josh (long story i dont feel like telling) & basically he has made the decision that he no longer even wants 2 be friends w/ me. what a fucking asshole! i practically died inside when he told me. i hung up the phone & lost it. i just about collapsed 2 the ground my knees were so weak. i could hardly breathe. i couldnt take it, so i cut. 3 times. no big deal.....a long time ago when i used 2 cut really bad i did at least 10 times a night. theyre really deep though. it took 4ever 4 them 2 stop bleeding. my hip is sore now. (thats where i cut now, so no one will see....well, not my HIP, but like the meat on your side behind your hip....ya know?????) so yea im really upset. he was my best friend & now he doesnt plan on ever talking 2 me again. ill probably only see him one more time 2 get my ticket back. yea, 4 his bday i got us tickets 2 go see the foofighters & weezer so i thought we could at least still do that, but NO! i got a text from him after we got off the phone saying "i want you 2 take your ticket back & go have fun, i dont feel right taking it" well im glad he offered it back but would it fucking kill him 2 just go 2 the show w/ me???? i mean its like a little less than a month away, he wont have 2 talk 2 me b4 or after. its just that none of my friends really wanna go *or* we cant get there cuz all of my friends drive but theres a law in georgia that the 1st 6 months you have your license you cant have anyone but your parents in the car, & itd be stupid 2 drive separate, ya know? i mean its a fucking bday present! the least he could do is go 2 the show w/ me. i just dont know what 2 do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so stressed out. i quit my job 2day. i couldnt handle school & work & now im doing the one act play at my school (its going 2 kick ass!!!!!) so i dont have time. im gonna try 2 find a job where i only work weekends cuz i still have 2 pay my car insurance. so no job=no car & thats not cool. anyways, ive rambled on enough 4 now. -Ash- ***edit aug 18, 2005 7:11pm****
Lin-Z: i love you so much! take care of yourself, cuz im worried. again, i love you darlin! | |||
<----this pretty much sums it all up.
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so im trying 2 start over. i need a fresh start. i want 2 act like the past 3 yrs never happened. like i went 2 sleep the summer after 7th grade & woke up & i was a junior in high school. well, im going 2 try 2 act like thats what happened. im trying 2 move on. but its just so fucking hard. i mean how can anyone expect me 2 get over my 1st love, my best friend, my *world* 4 3 yrs, in less than 2 months? think about it: 2 1/2 yrs of a relationship & 3 yrs of friendship....how am i supposed 2 be completely moved on w/ my life in 7 fucking weeks??? w/e, im done. i cant talk about this anymore. please comment me & give some advice cuz i really need it. & o yea....if you dont have anything nice 2 say dont say anything at all. -Ash-
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