new years

do this for me

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me.

It can be anything you want - good or bad.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you

FILL IT OUT BITCHES!!! (i didnt feel like updating ... so heres a gay ass survey thingy !lol)

01. who are you, what's our relationship:
02. how and where did we meet:
03. how long have you known me:
04. tell me one good thing about myself:
05. when you first saw me what was your impression:
06. whats my birthday:
07. do you / have you ever had a crush on me?:
08. what's one of my favorite things to do:
09. do you remember one of the 1st things I said to you:
10. describe me in 3 words:
11. name 5 things i love:
12. do you think i'm good looking:
13. how would you describe me to someone:
14. would you ever date me?:
15. tell me one thing you've always wanted to say but never did:
16. what do you like most about me:
17. if we could spend a day together what would we do:
18. have we ever gotten in a fight:
19. do you think we will be friends for at least 3 or 4 more years:
20. What do you think my weakness is?
21: Do you think I'll get married?
22: What makes me happy?
23: What makes me sad?
24: What reminds you of me?
25. If you could give me anything what would it be?
26. When's the last time you saw me?
27. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
28. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
29. If I was an ice cream flavor, which would I be and why?
30. What song (if any) reminds you of me?
`31 . If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?
32. Would you make a move on me?
33. Do I cross your mind at least 1 time a day

whats happnin ppl ... well this weekend is gonna blow ! there is pretty much nothin to do ! tonight i just chilled with rusty for a while... then we met up with brian and we walked around got some grub and then we saw GAY ASS cody and mark and wow ... they are so looserific ! lol buts its all good lol... and i got bored and went home and now im here at home  ! lol iight ppl im outie like a boner in sweatpants ! haha <3!!

>>me<<

I am alone. Alone here and alone in the world. Alone in my heart and alone in my mind. Alone everywhere, all the time, for as long as i can remember. Alone with my family, alone with my friends, alone in a room full of people. Alone when i wake, alone through each awful day, alone when i finally meet the blackness. I am alone in my horror.

I dont want to be alone. I never wanted to be alone. I fuckin hate it. I hate that i have no one to talk to, I hate that i have no one to call, I hate that i have no one to hold my hand, hug me, tell me everything is going to be all right. I hate that i have no one to share my hopes and my dreams with, I hate that i no longer have any hopes and dreams, i hate that i have no one to tell me to hold on. I hate that when i scream, and i scream bloody murder, that im screaming into emptiness. I hate that there is no one to hear my scream and that there is no one to help me learn how to stop screaming.I hate that what i have turned to in my loneliness is killing me, has already killed me, or will kill me soon. I hate that i will die alone. I will die alone in my horror......