She writes such pretty words, but life's no story book. Love's an excuse to get hurt, and to hurt. Do you like to hurt? ((I do, I do!)) Then hurt me.-bright eyes

So, since the entire world is completely infatuated with myspace and i highly doubt anyone will ever read this? I'm going to blabber on a little bit.

Firstly this weekend was amazing!

Theres nothing quite like bowling (without the bowling part, plus lots of photobooths), sleepovers (without the sleep part, plus thomas's house), winterball (without the going to the dance part, plus pearl st) and testing out the lovely saferide program all in roughly 48 hours.

ME//BRIANJACKSON//MADDIEFILDERMAN on FRI:

Secondly? I really don't care about MoLo  so you can give me sympathetic looks, the "ive been there..i know you're pretending not to care" or you can laugh in my face and I--DONT--MIND--AT--ALL because i actually truly am *not* upset about it and the truth? IT FEELS GREAT.

so far second semester has been ok.. but then who doesnt prefer making sock puppets over running the mile?? haha omg i love drama class. "Do you have your textbooks?" "You didn't give them to us." "I gave them the first day." "No, you didn't." "Oh, maybe I didn't. I was drunk that day. Who the fuck is going to get me coffee? You, get me coffee, im hungover!!" The day blaz is fired will be a sad time for humanity.

Well im going to go get some starbucks and start my LA paper..wish me luck loves.

XOXO

Jen

I just need to keep you in mind as something larger than life..-taking.back.sunday

______, I know I haven't known you for too long. I know that in a time like this you want to be with people you've known all your life and probably for a while, you won't want to be with anyone at all. But just know that I love you and that you were right whenever you wrote that silly little tagline on your myspace. "Life goes on." I know it's pathetic that the only thing I can think to write to you on a webpage you'll never read are your own words. But there's nothing more purely true and simple and just know that you will get through this. It will never be better but you can use it to make you better. stay strong. ♥

im choking on my own cliches.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and even though nothing else is important and nothing else will ever be important and i dont really know what the point is anymore? i'm still going to blabber on a little. stay with me.

This is what living like this does....-tbs

LIFEISTOOSHORTTOBEANYTHINGBUTHAPPY.

School? Fine.

Friends? Fine.

Life? Overrated.

Update? I should probably just come back later.

sometimes dont you just wish that you could believe in your own words..?

a better update later.

xoxo, Jen

you know it, it's an ::EDIT::

yup, i got tagged by the lovely TAYLER. jealous?

 so here i go with five things about me.

1. Okay so I know the "special" thing about me would be how i was born in russia and lived in miami and canada and now here and stuff. And I'm used to the "omgg you speak russian thats so COOOOooOOOlll" thing from everyone I meet. And yeah I guess i'm lucky that I can speak another language and have another culture and another world that other people don't really see. But on the other hand it makes me pretty lonely sometimes. Because people don't see that other part of me. The part that my parents carry in their accents when they speak english and my sister carries in her four extra years of memories from Russia and the part that I'm afraid will probably just fade away from me. And I'm so jealous of people who are still friends with kids from their preschool classes. Every time I've moved and every little memory that i forget separates me from a time that I'll never be able to reach again. Everyone misses being a little kid from time to time but it's so much harder when you don't even see that world ever anymore..aren't even sure if that world exists. And yeah I know everyone is going through this same "figuring out" thing, that I just have fancier names to call it because i have this supposed "cultural conflict," but sometimes I just feel like it would be nice to be just a bland AMERICAN for once.

2. I shut people out when I'm sad or mad. I'm so afraid of embarassment that I just shove people away so that they can't figure out what's going on or what I'm going through. I go into my closet with a big pillow and my ipod and close the door. With music playing and my comfy little closet world I've narrowed all my problems into a tiny manageable universe where everything is perfect.

So basically, my closet is my comfort zone. Got an issue?

3. I'm a hypocrite. I really am. It annoys the hell out of me when people are all, "I discovered that band first!! You sooo can't listen to it!!" Because you know, music is music. But whenever some random kid hears one song and claimes to be in love with a band that I've listened to for years, yeah that bugs me too. IM JUST COOL LIKE THAT.

4. I automatically love everyone I meet. I don't understand people who assume that you suck and then wait for you to disprove it. Chances are when I meet you I will be bubbly and friendly and act like we're best friends. If you're one of those people who glares at me until you figure out that maybe im okay to talk to but only if im friends with at least one of your friends and maybe if i like this certain type of music and of course ONLY if i snowboard at copper mountain and wear pink on thursdays and fold my paper airplanes a certain way... then chances are I won't end up liking you. But you probably won't be able to tell.

5. I give second chances too easily. And third and fourth and fifth ones until people just assume that I don't even care.

The thing is, I do. A lot.

And on that lovely note...

I TAG

-Hadleyyy because she totally knows that I'm a closet nerd and I haven't heard from her in way too long

-MANSUR because he is stuck at boulder high and doesn't know what he's missing out on..poor guy

-Amanda because I haven't talked to her in ages!

-Whitney because she is the only cool kid in texas and she better be coming to CO this summer

annnd

-KARA because we still need to have our reunion!!!